People look for different qualities in a romantic partner, and what you and I may see as a major red flag and reason to end the relationship, others may not see as a major deal breaker.
Even though there is no universal list of relationship deal breakers, here are a few common ones to keep an eye out for.
What Is A Deal Breaker?
A relationship deal-breaker (sometimes written as dealbreaker or deal breaker) is a negative trait or behavior in a person that outweighs their positive traits. More generally, whatever causes a relationship to be terminated is a deal-breaker.
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Listed below are 10 Biggest Deal Breakers In Relationships
There Is Abuse in the Relationship
A healthy relationship is about respect, putting your spouse first, and treating them how you want to be treated.
On the other hand, a partner who lays a hand on you or emotionally abuses you is a major relationship deal-breaker.
Many people convince themselves that just because it happens once doesn’t mean it will happen again. Remember, you deserve a healthy relationship, and someone who abuses you physically or emotionally even once isn’t worth your time.
Your Partner Isn’t Faithful
When it comes to cheating, put your foot down immediately. Don’t forgive and wait for the next round of heartbreak. If you have both agreed to a monogamous relationship, both parties should be respecting that decision.
Even if you put breaking your trust and your heart aside, your partner’s cheating on you puts you at risk for depression, S.e.xually transmitted infections, and major embarrassment.
If your partner doesn’t love and respect you enough to stay faithful, dump them. They aren’t worth your time.
Extreme Religious And Political Differences.
Having extremely divergent values is a major deal breaker in relationships that many people ignore during their dating period and it always comes back to bite them.
Are your religions and values compatible? Can the two of you make compromises and meet in the middle regarding your differences? If you can’t, then it’s better if you just part ways when it’s still early because it will get more complicated when the children are involved.
You Have A Lot Of Fights.
Disagreements in relationships are normal, and healthy even, but if you and your partner are always fighting about every little thing and you never seem to resolve your conflicts in a healthy manner, then perhaps you two are just not meant to be.
You see, healthy communication is a key ingredient in every successful relationship as it enables partners to explain their needs to each other and form a connection. If you and your partner have endless disagreements, it means that you don’t have healthy communication and that’s a big deal breaker.
Different Spending And Saving Habits.
Finances are often at the centre of a lot of decisions that you make as a couple and are a major cause of many fights in relationships.
Observe your partner’s saving and spending habits keenly and see if they are smart and reasonable enough to continue with the relationship.
They Fight Dirty
There are times when we’ve all said stupid things in the heat of an argument, but there’s a difference between getting caught up and using a disagreement as an excuse to be a complete jerk.
If, during an argument, your partner or spouse:
- Brings up past experiences with the intention of hurting your feelings
- Calls you rude or degrading names
- Gaslights you to make you feel crazy
- Attacks you instead of the issue
- Uses the silent treatment
Then you should consider walking away.
Healthy relationships are about open communication and fair conflict resolutions — not about seeing who can hurt the other more.
READ ALSO: 13 Ways To Fight For Your Marriage
They’re Always Jealous
Healthy jealousy is totally cool when it inspires couples to treat each other better and not take one another for granted.
However, controlling, hack-your-Facebook-and-demand-your-phone-password jealousy should never be tolerated. This is a sign of insecurity and can quickly develop into dangerous or abusive behavior. It’s better to get out before it reaches that point.
Extreme S.e.xual Incompatibility.
Besides companionship, friendship, and partnership, intimacy is also an important glue that holds a romantic relationship together.
Extreme S.e.xual incompatibility could range from having extremely divergent preferences in the bedroom that prevents you from fully satisfying each other to simply being turned off by your partner’s body or actions.
There is a popular opinion that breaking up because of S.e.xual incompatibility is silly, with the backing that many couples’ relationships survive even without good S.e.x. But is it really worth it and should you stay in that relationship?
You could try talking to your partner and seeing how the two of you can improve your bedroom affairs and if it doesn’t work out, it’s just better if you cut ties and move on before one of you starts cheating.
READ ALSO: 30 Ways To Save My Marriage by Myself
Substance Abuse Problems
Sitting down with a drink is a great way to relax — and let’s be honest, having a buzz on is fun! But if your spouse needs some sort of substance to have a good time, or if their personality drastically changes when they are under the influence, it can really throw you for a loop.
Substance abuse is one of the biggest relationship deal breakers on this list. It can cause your partner to mistreat you, be untrustworthy, waste money, and make poor decisions that will hurt you.
Why would you want to be around someone who is high or drunk 24/7, anyway?
Poor Personal Hygiene.
Poor personal hygiene is a red flag and a real deal breaker in a relationship that shouldn’t be ignored.
If a person can’t take care of themselves, what makes you think that he will take care of you or your relationship?
When we talk about personal hygiene, we mean the basic minimum. Of course, the basic minimum is different for everyone, so you need to ask yourself what the basic minimum is for you and what is it you can’t tolerate as far as hygiene or lack of it is concerned.
Please note that the messages contained in this article were not originally compiled by this author but were edited where necessary.