I don’t know if I can confide in you. Please hide my ID. My name is Clarice (not real name). I am 30 years old. I am engaged to be married this coming June but I am having serious cold feet about my wedding and I do not know who to talk to.
I am not looking forward to my wedding. I think I am not in love with my fiance…or maybe I am just scared I would be making a mistake. The thing is,there maybe there is someone else and its someone who no one will understand why I love him.
To be honest,I am in love with my boss at work. My boss is a 51 year old divorcee. He has grown up children but since I started working in that company three years ago,I grew close to him and actually the attraction is so strong between us,we slept together and had an affair for about a month.
One thing about my boss is that he does not look anywhere near 51. He is very athletic and goes to the gym alot. He looks like a man in his late 30s. He is so s*xy and I was shocked when he asked me if I was single. I said yes. We went on the most romantic dates I have ever been to till date.
To be honest,I was single and he too was single. But I felt a little ashamed to be dating someone almost twice my age. But he treated me so kindly and loved me like no man has ever. It was the best one month of my life. He loved me but I was just so afraid.
When my fiance came,I used him to try and forget my boss. I convinced myself that I was truly in love with him. I ignored all the efforts my boss made to try to win me back …I pushed him away. I thought it was for the best cos I was not sure how to tell my friends that I was in love with someone much older than me.
That has been like almost 2 years ago but not a day passes without me thinking about my boss. Especially now that the wedding is getting close. When I sent my boss my wedding invite,he sent me a message and said: don’t do this,this is a mistake. Now, I am beginning to feel I am truly making a mistake.
What is wrong with me? Why am I afraid of people knowing I am dating a man that is 21 years older than me? Sometimes I tell myself that its not right to marry such an older person cos he might die much earlier than me…will his children accept me? How will my family and friends receive such a thing?
And most thing I am afraid of…if I break up my engagement…with wedding less than 2 months away….how will I face the whole world?
Oh my God…Is this normal? Why can’t I stop thinking of him even after two years? Why am I so scared of going ahead with my wedding?
Please advise me.
Anonymous Lively Stones Facebook Fan
Photo Credit:Washington Post