Trust is the cornerstone of everything we engage in, whether tangible aspects or relationships.
Trust is exhibited by us on every little step, like the trust that the bridge we are commuting on every day was well-built and will not fall into the river below to the most profound trust that our friends, partners, husbands, and wives are honest with us.
Nothing is more important to our security and happiness in life than trust. Relationships with no trust are the relationships that are more likely to fail.
What might happen when trust is gone in a relationship?
Back to that bridge. If you think that that bridge looks rickety or just plain unsound, you will not cross it and will find a detour.
However, a loss of trust in a personal relationship is a whole different matter. When trust is gone in a relationship, feelings of abandonment, anger, sorry, regret and sorrow can all arise.
Lack of trust in a relationship can shake us to the core
However, if the personal relationship is superficial or not very deep, most people just move right along. If only it were that easy with the relationships which matter most- close personal friends, extended family and husband, and wife!
No trust in a relationship can be distressing
If there is a lack of trust in a relationship, what are some of the options available for restoring that trust? Let’s look at the situation Karen Roque found herself in.
She explains, “At work, I am focused one hundred percent on the job and I know I am valued for my ability to hire trustworthy people, so I know what trust in the workplace is.”
“However, in my personal life, I just do not know how to trust in a relationship. I have real trust issues in a relationship because every single guy I have dated has cheated on me.”
“I find myself in a really bad place. I would love to be able to trust again, but I have no trust in a relationship.” Karen’s situation is not unique.
Luckily, after much soul-searching, Karen saw a therapist who helped Karen work through a lack of trust in a relationship.
Escalating up the trust ladder
Trust Note Has Been Cut Half By Scissors
It is one thing to experience a lack of trust in someone you are casually dating, but what about when the trust is gone in a marriage? Can a marriage survive without trust?
These are very serious questions, and can only be answered by the people involved.
Like Karen above, sometimes people enter relationships with trust issues from the past. They are optimistic and hope that the new relationship will be better and that both partners will form a trusting bond that may lead to marriage.
But what if there is a lack of trust in marriage?
Broken trust in marriage
If trust has been broken in a marriage, there can be serious consequences beyond the end of the marriage. But let’s back up a bit and see if the situation can be helped or modified towards a different conclusion.
First of all, if something has happened and there is mistrust in a marriage, both partners have to want to mend what is broken. Frank honest talk is called for to tackle a lack of trust in a relationship.
Related- 5 Marriage Truths Every Couple Should Know
Both people must speak openly about what has happened to break the trust in the marriage. It simply does not work unless both are engaged in rectifying what has occurred.
It will take effort and some compromise from both people. No matter what the cause, forgiveness has to be part of the equation if the marriage is to continue.
If forgiveness can not be achieved, and the lack of trust in a relationship persists, it is better to seriously think about ending the relationship and moving on.
Having no trust in marriage is not a good place to be
If the marriage is to continue and thrive, There is no scope for lack of trust in a relationship.
Trust must be established again by both partners. Communicating honestly is the key to making the situation better.
Apologies and promises must be made and taken with the utmost sincerity, or again, trust issues will most likely arise. Each partner in a marriage will know how fully invested in the marriage they are.
Hopefully and ideally both partners are one hundred percent invested and will seek to rebuild the trust they once had in the marriage.
If both partners want to rebuild that trust, they should do whatever it takes (couples therapy, marriage counseling, etc. are good places to start for many couples) to move forward and to repair the broken trust.
There may not be a happy ending here
Inevitably, some people are not able to rebuild the trust they once had in their marriage.
While this may not be the storybook ending that both partners may have envisioned on their wedding day, trust issues will not make for a long term happy and fulfilling marriage.
Sometimes it is better for the psychological well-being of both partners to end their marriage, move on with their lives, and to hope that the future is brighter.