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Help: I Think I Am Loosing My Mind Over This Thing Called Marriage-Pt 2

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Editor’s Note:
Here is the second part of the story we ran earlier on today. We apologize for the very long post. Click here if you missed the story… We appreciate all your comments. This lady is reading your comments. Please drop your advise for this dear lady in the comments section.
Thank you.
Jzhane
Part 2
Until one day ,I was having problem with my banking app  and I needed to send money to my junior brother because it’s festive period and I told my husband to help me with the transaction that I will give him the cash .
My husband refused that the bank will deduct #50 from his bank account . That day I decided to change and plan my life .I started learning tailoring on line as God will have it someone told me she wanted to sell a sowing machine and I showed interest in buying and pleaded with her that I can only pay twice she agreed and I bought the machine .
To crown it all a colleague at work is also a fashion designer anytime am about cutting any dress I will approach her and she will not hesitate within 2 months I started cutting and sowing all by myself. He never asked me how I was able to pay up for the machine.
I started buying materials and sowing for myself and my girls . I stop bothering about him and focused on my kids and myself.  I stopped caring for him and withdrew all my attention toward him including cleaning the house.
There was this day I drove his car to the market just because it was raining and I need to get something urgent , immediately I parked the car , I saw him , there is no way I can go to the front or back he will see his car , I now parked the car and hide my self by the side of the car so that he can go without seeing me even if he should see his car because people in that place will pity me that day .
Immediately he saw his car he parked the one his driving and walked to where I parked and started calling me ,I did not pick ,me that I sneaked from his presence that day I saw hell when I get home.
This makes me hate him the more ,I became wild toward him ,I neglected and hardly talk to him ,even when making love I will not participate , my love for him has reduced drastically and  I started looking good ,me that most men are running after me because of my beauty , to be candid am so much endowed and my husband does not see me as anything .
I will not call him ,even if he traveled for a week ,I hardly talk to him ,I will only greet him and asked him what will you eat. I totally neglected him. It continued till early December , he started worrying that I no longer participate during s*x ,I told him I don’t feel like it anymore.
That led him to a counselor , he explained to him my behavior and the councilor gave him 3 point that might be responsible for my actions and one happened to be that he should go and change his way . He came home ,he begged that he will change that I should give him another chance I said ok. I tried to change although it was very difficult for me because I have been wronged by him in many ways .
We traveled for December .When came back in January ,he  started he’s drama again ,my cousin that is staying with me came back from home ,he greeted my husband he did not answer . Although he has told me that the lady did not call since she left for home and I called her and asked her why and directed her to call him , which she did and my husband did not pick.
The next morning ,my cousin called me and told me that my husband has locked all the doors including the windows in the house and left her inside closing both gates ,windows and doors . When I got home ,I asked him and he started his abuse again ,he nearly beat me up that day again. Saying it is because am ok in his house that I invited my cousin.
During this lock down ,my first daughter of 13 years ran away from home ,we were able to find her . Her father nearly beat her to death ,It was then she started saying , she hate her daddy ,that he never show them love and care ,that she’s not even sure he’s their father ,that she’s tired of staying in this cage called house , I was amazed at her utterance .
It was then I realized the kids too are not happy, immediately the eldest said…
To be continued…
Photo Credit:Lindaikejisblog
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Help: I Think I Am Loosing My Mind Over This Thing Called Marriage-Pt 2
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

12 COMMENTS

  1. @ Dapsonlelvin, your comment and reaction to people in times of need is the reason why some people never go out to seek help. Jzhane is using her platform to help people how about you? This woman is obviously going through so much. Walking out of an abusive relationship is VERY TOUGH especially when you have kids. You know its toxic but dont just have the courage to walk out. You can decide not to read her story, Jzhane isn’t complaining that she is disturbing, so i dont know why you are. Spread light, love, strenght and empathy please….. Peace

  2. This drama has been passed on to your children and this will continue for them(your children) as they grow older just like it did for your husband… Pls, find a way to reconcile with your husband for your children’s sake

    • This shows the extent of damage done to your children due to their father’s attitude.
      It’s best you take the safety of your children as a priority, if your husband is making futile efforts at counseling alone, then you need to join him for the counseling and see how it goes.
      In all I wish you well

  3. You better consider leaving your life with your beautiful kids .Give him time to set his mind right as u try to take care of yourself when earning ,as God will bless you with one that respects you if the one in existence doesn’t consider you being human ,so u better think twice and focus on loving yourself and your kids in the long run God will bless you with the( ONE )that will give you a peace of mind n respects your kis with love and comfort since baby daddy isn’t willing to change .

  4. What a bad way to raise children, especially female children. When they grow up in the future, they will also start feeling hatred towards men. They will also be scared to get married. Emotionally and mentally, they are getting destroyed too. What a toxic environment your husband has created.

    Can’t wait to read the remaining part(s).

  5. Please ma help yourself nd your kids.That man will never value you until the day you pack your bags and live as long as you are in that house he will never give you respect,Cos he feels like you can’t go anywhere that why if not what are you still doing all this while he has been doing what he is doing cos you have not pack your bags for one day that you are leaving ma run.

  6. I don’t see a man that will change.

    He will only feel bad just when he isn’t gaining or winning.

    He tried to change to still have you in his control.

    Be wise and take a drastic step that will save you and your children.

    You have a lot of work to do on those kids.

    Be wise.

    All the best.

    • My dear sister, I am so touched and very sorry that you are going through such agony being inflicted by a fellow man who is even an elite person. At this very time we are in which man would do such unspeakable thing to the mother of his three children. That man is so wicked and doesn’t deserve to be your husband. Since you are educated and now working, do everything to move out of that prison you are in and begin a new life with your daughters. Work very hard and be smart, you will afford what your daughters need in life. Don’t allow your self to be destroyed by useless and stupid man like that. If not you will even end up being killed by that wicked man and leave your daughters to suffer with him when you are no more. My mum went through such a similar agony and decided to leave and now we have all grown up being raised by her alone. Please your life is more important and has no spear part. Take care

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