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My Husband Has Been So Mean To Me After Our Breakup-Please Advise

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 Hello,
I am new here,l got your number on Facebook. Please,l need your help.
I broke up with my husband,now 7 months,he went with the kid,he doesn’t want me to see my child nor be with her. I have tried pleading but nothing. Every one has tried but in vain.
I pray and sometimes go dry, loose hope,l need to have my marriage back please help me. His not married his just staying alone with the kid. I am completely not my self,no one to advise,nor help.
Whenever l talk to him,he is too negative. I feel l love him,he is the father of our child,he has even been paying my tuition. We had finished pre-visit last year and he even paid my dowry.
I took him to probation but  I think he bribed those people because the very first day he promised to bring the child,next week. When  reached he didn’t appear even the officer closed and  left me out.
When l went there again, they called him,he said he can’t give me the child now, until she gets first term holiday,l cried and did all but still in vain,those officers were dancing to his tunes
I have cried and  run short of tears , every hour that passes,l miss my family, mostly my girl.He even said lf l want l can take him to court,a poor woman like me,where can l even get money to pay a lawyer?
I am on my own ,my parents aren’t here,I am now staying with my big sis,but she is also too negative,she wanted to take me for witchcraft,l refused and told her l serve a living God.So we don’t even talk,she has told the neighbors she is tired of me,she wants me to leave but l can’t go anywhere.
In January,our pastors tried to talk to both of us,but he did not respect them,even after that, he stopped coming to church,but one pastor told me there is  a spirit pulling him behind,so l should pray,but my dear,I sometimes go dry and loose hope.
Because someone you are praying for to change,when ever l call him,his too rude and so negative.
Please help me…advise me.
Anonymous Lively Stones Fan From Ugnada
Photo Credit:legalinfo

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My Husband Has Been So Mean To Me After Our Breakup-Please Advise
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

14 COMMENTS

  1. Good day ,this story made me very sad. Women are mostly at the receiving end when it comes to matters like this.
    I suggest you look for an NGO in your country that caters to women in custody battles.
    Get yourself busy to help your finances so you can actually care for that child. Work on yourself esteem and development.
    Trust God to make it right in due time.

    • This issue is quite sensitive, I believe something must have gone wrong for you guys to separate. I honestly believe if you are still interested in the marriage, you tell his family about the situation, tell your family too, then make an attempt to go see him and have a one on one discussion with him. He should not shut you out from your daughter, I also believe you should pray for your family.

  2. I don’t know what happened in the first case for you to have lost your family but I would encourage you to forgive yourself first and your husband.
    Its difficult to be without your child but don’t get to a state of depression. Leave the man with the child. Whenever you feel down, write letters to her and keep in a box or safe.
    Also from afar always check up on your daughter to ensure she is well taken care of.
    In order to get your child back you will need money. So get engaged, better yourself and then file again for custody.
    In all this keep praying. You may not have the exact words to say in prayers but keep praying for your daughter, and thanking God because very soon you will be together.

  3. First you need to get something doing for a leaving nd you move out from your big sister house,from there no matter what your daughter is your daughter she will look for you anywhere you are

  4. I’ll suggest you give your self some break, be strong, get something doing then with time you can file for the child’s custody…. Please put your together and stop thinking, believing there’s light at the end of the tunnel. May God see you through

  5. My sister the only thing you need now is God.Take his heart to God in prayer. Send messages to him I mean sweat messages, remind him of the sweet time and how much you love him. God will fight for you.

  6. I don’t know the reason you broke up him. All I can say is that he is probably doing that to exercise authority or way of purnishing you. First you need to ask God for forgiveness, secondly you need to forgive yourself and Forgive him as well. be at peace with yourself, surrender all to God and let him Fight you. And Change your pattern of prayer, because you know God is not in support of divorce. Lastly don’t give up let your hope be alive and never let a day go by without you praying for your husband or your Ex husband, pray for his wellbeing and that of your daughter.
    I pray that God will see you through in Jesus name

  7. Hello dear,
    My advice for you is that you shouldn’t give up or loose faith. God sees it all and knows it all, don’t stop praying and don’t stop believing. Then you have to get yourself a job, get something doing no matter how small. Love yourself, pray for your husband and your child. God will see you through

  8. Hello madam,
    So sorry for what you are going through, I don’t know what really caused separation between you both.
    But I believe there is nothing God can not do with help of prayer, just calm your self down first about the child and think how you can get your self back on your feet, also try to work on the marriage if you still want your husband back.

    Continue praying….it will end in praise

    Regards

  9. You have said it all that a spirit is pulling him back. So that means you must keep on praying fervently about this issue if you really want to be with your husband again.

    While doing that, you also need to find a work to be doing if u don’t have one. Maybe after the end of this lockdown, get a job, be it teaching job or office work. Just to also have a sense of responsibility. With that, your husband will also be impressed. Don’t leave your life like everything about you depends on him. Be responsible. Even that your sister will reduce her negative attitude towards you.

    Another benefit of having a job is that you will stand a better chance of taking custody of that child, that’s if your husband still doesn’t want you after ur fervent prayers. So my dear, be responsible. You worth a lot. May God help you.

    It is well !!!

  10. Hello madam,

    First,take a deep breathe. I understand your pain. No mother should be separated from her child no matter what caused the separation.

    There are so many questions surrounding this case and I wish we knew more about what led to your separation to your husband…why he wont let you see your child…etc

    In any case,I hope you are not been prevented from seeing your child because of abuse or neglect or your inability to take care of yourself or drugs or any accusation against you that your husband can hold against you in court?

    If any of the above is the case,it will be hard for the courts to let you see your child. However, if there is no reason to prevent you from seeing your child,I will advise you to seek out an NGO or another lawyer that cannot be bribed by your husband.

    You should very well take this in prayers. If you are a woman without money or support,it will be hard in a selfish world like ours to get justice. But do not give up. Pray for your husband. Pray for your baby. That God will turn his heart to you.

    You say you still love your husband…have you tried to tell him? Can you ask him to meet with you so you can both try and talk about the issues that made you separate in the first place. Can you ask him to give you another chance?

    Perhaps there are areas both of you need to make changes to even stand the chance of coming back. Pray about this…let God make a way for both of you to have an effective communication to better help the relationship.

    In all…take it easy..every thing will be fine. You can write letters and keep them for our child to read when she grows up. So she can understand that you did not abandon her but you were prevented from seeing her. Let her know how you also tried to fight to see her.

    Keep praying…keep trying to reach your husband to communicate…keep searching for NGOs or a lawyer..maybe go to your country’s ministry of women affairs…see if they can help. You can try the human rights centers in your country.

    Do not give up hope…there is so much you can do…do not get depressed…keep a positive mindset….you will see your child one day and all will be fine.

    God bless you.

  11. Hello madam
    Sorry for your pain. I wish you told us what brought about the divorce but all the same never loose hope on your daughter and husband,keep praying for them cause there is nothing impossible for God to do.
    Get someone who he listen to talk with him I mean family elders
    Lastly take very good care of yourself and get your self busy with work and the good Lord will make you smile
    Let faith lead you to your victory (Hebrews 11:1)
    Be positive and strong for your daughter

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