I saw your write up on Facebook about talking to someone who you can trust….
After been married for 9 years,maybe with my looks or with change in taste,both of us have grown apart. For us, been married is just about raising our kids,running our career and business. Our s*x life is more like a car routine maintenance. Not because I do not want s* but because my husband has developed low s*x drive.
He was diagnosed with a condition with 5 years ago. We both thought it was the drugs he was using that was responsible for his low s*x drive but the doctors say he should be able to enjoy s*x like an average man. They think its psychological that my husband is having a low drive yet he says he does not need help.
No,I do not think he is cheating. Well,if he is,what is the woman getting cos he can barely last 55 seconds during s*x. He says its the effect of the drugs he is using. At my age,I have discovered my s*xual needs and since I am not getting it,masturbation and toys have been my saving grace.
Up until this lock down. Because we are both forced to be indoors all through,I cannot hide like I used to do to use my toys or masturbate to ease my urges. Its been very frustrating for me. On his part,my husband gets high just working on his laptop all day and all night. I suspect he watches porn but I have never caught him.
Anytime I try to initiate s*x its just for another sloppy 55 seconds. Well,I cant blame him but he is not even trying to make an effort. The doctors say the drugs are not that bad but he says its the drug…I am tired. I have told him to use herbs and other solutions that people have recommended to help him last longer. I even bought some for him. He pretty much said he is not interested.
When I threatened to cheat,he told me to go ahead and stop disturbing his life. That will I be the first woman to cheat on her husband…To be honest, I was only saying that out of frustration,not being serious but I never knew a day would come when I would make that threat come to life. It happened exactly two weeks ago. That was the 4th week of the lock down.
While I was shopping in the local supermarket,I was picking up a few items when my shopping cart bumped into a young man. He apologized even though I thought it was my fault. He later assisted me with my bags to the car and asked for my number. The stars must have been shinning on me. Why would a young man be asking for my number?
No one has flirted with me in a long time. I gave him my number and he quickly buzzed me. That evening,he chatted with me. And he asked me for a job. Said he felt bad for asking me for such favour …said something about lock down affecting his business,apparently,he is an Uber driver.
I asked what can of job he can do:he said laundry or car washing or anything I wanted. I asked him if he was married,he looked around 27 or so. He is not married. I told him to give me his address since he lived alone. That is how I have been seeing this guy for a week plus.
I do not know what has happened to me. But the s*x I am getting is ruining my ability to think right. This boy is really good. We agreed on a friends with benefit deal. I pay him to have s*x with me until after the lock down.
I feel alive for the first time in almost 5 years. My husband does not care that I cheat..he does not even ask me care…I think he knows what am doing and frankly does not care …so…so why am I feeling bad about this..
Maybe its because I am slowly loosing my mind and sense of dignity. Yes,s*x is not everything. But when someone gives it to you so good..it feels like an addiction…do I have an addiction? what is wrong with me..I need some help and I am afraid of who to talk to…
Hide my name please. If only this lock down didn’t have to be this long…maybe I would have focused on something more productive.Right now,all I think of is being in this boys’s arms.
God have mercy on me…..is this even illegal seeing that my husband does not care…please advise me