Home Advice Insecurities Or Just Lies- What Is Really Going On In My Relationship?

Insecurities Or Just Lies- What Is Really Going On In My Relationship?


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Hello ma,

I need your advice. I want to remain anonymous. I met someone recently. He said he is a prophet and wanted to date me but I was reluctant because my first relationship was with someone like him,someone who called himself a prophet and he ended up breaking up with me even after though he was my first.

I tried to forget him but he did not give up. He kept coming for me,he was persistent. He was very caring,always asking me if I had eaten,how was my day,if I had a headache,he would show so much care and love. He seemed genuinely interested in my progress,even my business.I unintentionally began to fall for him.

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And truly,he showed me love that I have not experienced before. For the first time,I began to believe in true love. I was happy until he said something: he said that he has alot of spiritual children. Meaning that: he has young men and women who he takes as his spiritual children,maybe to mentor them.

I wondered why he was telling me. So,I said I am fine with it as long as it does not affect our relationship. He promised me that it would never. Until one day,he told me one of his spiritual daughters wants to come and stay with him. I was surprised because he lives in a one room apartment.

I questioned him as to why he would allow such a thing to happen. This girl is an adult. How would she be staying with you. Why would her mother even allow her to stay with you? how will she be changing in the room when you are there? All these questions I asked him,he just replied: are you done? He did not say anything more.

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I figured he was upset so I apologized. He was angry and said I did not trust him and if I cannot trust him then there was no need for us to be dating. I apologized and that was it. later on,I found out that this girl moved in and also moved in with her boyfriend. That made me relax a bit because I thought with her boyfriend in the same room with my own boyfriend,nothing could happen.

Later on,I found out that this girl got pregnant for her boyfriend. What shocked me was that my own boyfriend was very angry with her for getting pregnant. I asked him what was his business and he told me he was mentoring her and had good plans for her,that the pregnancy disappointed him.

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I was numb. I did not know how to react cos the other time I reacted,he said I did not trust him. So,I kept my cool. A few days ago,I called him to let him know I would be coming over to spend like 2 days with him. I closed from my shop and went to see him. When I got there,I did not meet him,only the girl was there and she refused to let me in.

I called my boyfriend and he did not pick up but I noticed the light of a phone come up in the room when it rang. I called several times no response. Then the girl told me he is not around and will not be back tonight. I told her I would wait even if its for 2 days.

I stayed outside until I realized how late it was,I was afraid of getting attacked outside especially in the corona virus period. I left to my place. When I got home,I saw my boyfriend’s missed calls. I called him back and I asked him where he was knowing I was coming to his place. He said he went out.

Out of anger,I told him he was lying cos I was at his place and I suspect him cos I saw his phone light up when I called. He started insulting me and told me it was over. That I do not trust him. Ma,its been two days,I have been sending him messages and no response since then.

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I miss him so much. I love him so much. Maybe my insecurities are making me mistrust him. What do I do? I am going to be 36 years old soon. I am lonely with no one to talk to. I miss all the love he showed me. What do I do? Is he playing me or am I the one with issues?

Please advise me. I feel so sad and hurt. What do I do?


Anonymous Lively Stones Whatsapp member


Photo Credit:Bustle

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Insecurities Or Just Lies- What Is Really Going On In My Relationship?
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Someone allows two adult of the opposite gender stay in his apartment. Does it mean he is supporting fornication or cohabiting ? I thot the bible is against it ?
    Shouldn’t that be a red flag for this lady if he is indeed what he said he Sir ?
    *make una follow me reason this matter*

  2. Madam,forget about this nigga
    He is not real
    He was aware of your coming,even if he wouldn’t be around he should have told the girl that you are coming.thaf he is a prophet doesn’t make him a saint
    He knows what he is doing,don’t call him again
    Move on with your life,your life partner will locate you if you believe

  3. I’m part of the reading and passing gangs… But this your story got me laughing *no offence pls* it’s just so funny…. At almost 36,the best you could settle for is a man living in a room apartment,with spiritual children.. Lol *that part got me* have you even prayed at all for directions from God. Really, in this age and century, one guy is making you look like a fool all in the name of being a prophet. That man is not 1% good for you. So I’m happy for you with the break up… You are a wonderful, loving and honest being who deserves someone better.. Not a prophet who house spiritual children. Pls be happy with the break up as I am also happy for you over here and move on cheerfully..God has bigger plans for you,don’t let the devil deprive you of happiness and give you situation you can’t handle…lastly,age is just a number… Let me continuing sipping my drink and waiting for comments

  4. I really have a lot to say but will summarise it as this.. please leave him alone, he doesn’t love you and too many unclear lifestyle…… if you are late be late for the right reasons…. he’s just a time waster ooo… even if he comes back please dont accept him

  5. First of, I believe at your age, you should not be falling for a man who has no plan, vision and a job. In my own perspective that man has none. He allows fornication in his own home and blames you for not trusting him.

    The bitter truth is the prophet is a fornicator and cheat. I suggest you forget about him and move on with your life.

  6. Hello,
    That guy is pure fake prophet, he’s only wasting your time and has no plan for his life and even you.
    Just thank God this came up.
    Run for you life.


  7. Guys that are always asking for trust in a relationship, how do you do it? Trust is not something you force someone to have for you or constantly request for from your partner. You have to earn it.

    My dear lady, break off from this relationship now that you have the chance. Someone that gets infuriated and ask for BREAKUP anytime you question him over issues that are not easy to understand, is a red flag. If he is not doing something mysterious, he won’t be finding faults in your questioning.

    Let me simply assume this too. The lady at home is the main chick and you are the side chick. Yes you are. Why would that other lady stop you from entering ur bf room if she isn’t enjoying some benefits from ur so called prophet. And to make matter worse, (assuming your bf was truly not at home), your bf didn’t even fight with the other lady for not letting you to enter his room and he faulted you for everything. He was okay with you getting punished by that other lady. If this guy really loves you and want a future with you, he will never be treating you this way. I know love is blind, you won’t quickly notice the red flag, but now that things are like this, don’t beg him or rush back into him. Take your time and assess the whole thing.

    If you still later marry Mr prophet, I’m sure your matrimonial home will become a church family house. Different brothers and sisters will start living with you and you won’t have any say to it. Better stand your ground now and let him be. If he really needs you in his life, he will come back to beg.

    Don’t be desperate to enter the relationship again. Don’t be ashamed of being single again. If you take your stand now, before a month or two, you would have moved on already and this will be ur past. A word is enough for the wise.

    It is well with you !!!!

  8. Hello dear,

    You need to stop pinning for this man. He never meant well for you from the beginning. He is not straight forward,he only took advantage of your insecurities.

    A man who loves a woman will never put her in a position to doubt his intentions for her.

    Spiritual children..ok…let him continue …you need not be entangled in his mess.

    Being 36 or 46 makes no difference. What you need is self love. Love yourself to the extent that no one will make you feel less.

    Build your self confidence. You are beautiful and worthy of love and respect. When you believe this,you will attract the kind of man that you deserve.

    Let him go dear…he is not the one for you.

  9. Everyone has said it. Let him go and move on cos he isn’t the one for you. He that will come will come


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Insecurities Or Just Lies- What Is Really Going On In My Relationship?

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