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Our Arrangement Was Supposed To Be One Month But Covid-19 Lock Down Changed Our Relationship

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Good day ma’am,

I read a story similar to my situation here a few days ago. (Click here for that story). I am actually in a dilemma and I need advise. I am a Nigerian living in Ghana. This girl is my friend but she was living with a man in Ghana who promised to marry her but she discovered that he was lying to her.

The problem was that,she dropped out of school and followed this man to Ghana. He promised her heaven and earth. This girl told her family and friends that this man was rich and going to marry her and help her continue her school. On getting to Ghana,found out that the man was not even rich.

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My friend trying to save face,continued to stay with this man who was a chronic womanizer. He made her abort several times. She eventually discovered that he was going to get married to a Ghanaian and when she asked him,he said he could never marry her cos she was an illiterate and not a Ghanaian.

My friend was devastated. This man eventually kicked her out. Instead of her to go back to Nigeria,she came to my place. I was shocked. I am in a relationship with another Ghanaian lady but we are not too serious. So when my friend came to me,I told her I could not accommodate her but she was crying,saying she has no where else to go and that she cannot face her parents after all she told them.

This girl begged me to allow her stay for one month,that she has some money,that she will look for a place to rent after and move out. She actually started making hair for people here in Ghana and people like her work. So I felt pity for her. I mean,I was her only family here in Ghana. I then had to lie to my girlfriend that I would be travelling for one month so she would not come and meet this girl here.

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That is how this girl started living with me and right away,started to seduce me. I told her this was not the plan. She said it does not matter that,we are adults and its her way of paying me back for my kindness. She promised it was no strings. She said she does not love me…just s*x.

What I did not know is how good in s*x this girl is. She practically runs my brain mad and I have never been able to resist her. When the lock down came,it was s*x all through,more than 3 times a day. I knew I was sinking but could not help myself. She was like cocaine. I knew it was bad but since I tasted it..I became hooked and helpless.

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One month later,she did not make any move to move out. I asked her to move,she used the lock down as excuse. My girlfriend was now calling to find out if I was back. I kept lying to her that the lock down held me back.

I do not know what I am going to do. I am stuck. This girl is a good cook,a good lover,good shape,beautiful,any man would love to have her. But I don’t know if this is a good idea. She told me not to date that Ghanaian girl,that Ghanaian are mean people. Well,from her experience,she could say that.

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To be honest,I don’t know what I am doing. I don’t know if this is love or lust but I am so crazy about this girl. Sometimes I feel she has used something to jazz me. I keep lying to my girlfriend but I know its only matter of time before she finds out. What do I do,should I just break up with my girlfriend and stick with this girl?

What have I gotten myself into…part of me wants to flee cos I have never felt like this with someone….it feels dangerous yet very sweet…please what should I do?

 

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Photo Credit:nypost

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Our Arrangement Was Supposed To Be One Month But Covid-19 Lock Down Changed Our Relationship
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

24 COMMENTS

  1. seriously… You have to tell your girlfriend the truth if not if she finds out by herself something different might happen. Just don’t be afraid of telling her everything.

  2. Lol. Why do I find this amusing to read. Are you sincerely looking for advise that you will follow? This is your life and you are in control of your emotions. No type of advise can help you control this one for you.

    In otherwords, this is your choice to make. Stop playing both sides. Think well about it and go for s*x (ur s*x partner) or commitment (your gf). Once you decide, break up with the one you don’t want. I just hope you will be bold enough to end things quickly with either one of them, so that the person u will let go eventually, won’t need to go through long deception and heart breaking play / drama, because that person doesn’t deserve to get hurt due to your infidelity.

    Keep on enjoying. It is well with you !!!!

  3. I’m gonna make this as short as I can. Firstly you need to define your purpose n your ideal kinda woman cos you’re never gonna be horny forever.
    Aside the s*xual fantasy you both enjoy do she portrait the characteristics of a good wife??/
    You need to go somewhere quiet, clear your head off s*x n whatever associated with it.
    Speak to your inner self and decide what you really want…..And as for your girlfriend, pls explain everything that has ever happened to her it’s gonna hurt her more if she finds out herself.
    Once again have a “ME TIME” alone and define your purpose. You’re never gonna be horny forever.

  4. It’s obvious you are asking for a nod because you already had your mind made up.
    You already listed her good qualities that alone has showed that you know what you’re doing.
    Call your girlfriend and let her know and stop deceiving her.

  5. There’s no JAZZ anywhere at all.. Its your LIBIDO and insatiable list for what’s under the skirt that’s leading you and if you are not careful will ruin you… Staying faithful and cheating is a decision that will benefit you or mess you up… If you don’t have a grip on yourself and all.. More conditions will arise and are you saying for every conditions that come up, your escape and excuse will be to cheat.. Cheating makes you lose focus, a cheater is the weaker vessel and lacks integrity.. So stop this game of yours and stay faithful to your girlfriend or let her go in peace and continue your s*xcapade.. But whatever your choice is, don’t be the reason another person does not believe in love..

  6. These are type of things we do and when things get out of hand we start singing a particular clause sinking to rise no more or If i could turn , turn back the hand of time For a girl to know how to cook and be good in s*x doesn’t mean she is the right deal for you. 1. She is a traitor . She came seeking asylum and now she is now making you feel bad about someone. It reminds me s story my dear friend , Donald Trump told me about a snake asking a lady to take her in of which the lady did. After a while she turned out to hurt the lady but when the lady asked the snake why , it said , you knew i was a snake and you took me The lady is traitor. Who agrees with me ?

  7. Hello friend, you know what to do! The question is what do you really want in a Wife…. somebody you can describe as wife?

    Do any of these ladies possess those qualities? You did not describe the other girl’s details. So we don’t know her!

    Give yourself a break, sit down quietly and think with your brain clearly.

    Take that good step with sound decision.

    Don’t allow your mind be clouded with so-called s*x and lusts

    Take care.

  8. Iye nka ato buo gi(this thing called ……..is sweet).You have listed the qualities u have seen so far which probably your girlfriend does not have,I will advice you stick with her.She is industrious, makes hair,she is a good cook,she is a good lover, she be girl wey sabi,what else are u looking for?God don butter your bread.

  9. Insist she gets a place stay away from her as much as possible self evaluate to determine what u really want all the best

  10. Stop having s*x with her first of all, because you need to think clearly, if she has the qualities you want then go for her, if it is your girlfriend then make amends and tell the new girl to respect your boundaries

  11. My dear this is what i call lust not love. Please tell her to move out you don’t care where she will stay if not you will end up in a very big mistake you will always remember all the days of your life

  12. Your decisions are clear already. You already know what you want and what is best for you.
    Follow your heart and choose wisely.

    Peace

  13. You first decision should be to draw out your purse and support her to get her private appartment. You need to do that as soon as possible. It is your first price for the bout of s*x she offered you. After that, clear your head and evaluate your decision. You will think straight and better when you are not under pressure. First thing first, get her settled in a different apartment that you must contribute to get together as soon as possible.

  14. Besides s*x and food what else ticks it for you. Check your list of what you want in a woman and run it through both ladies and make your choice. But you need to come out straight and not cheat.

  15. U have a choice to make,n u should really know what u want from a woman,that which u are doing with that girl is lust not love, so summon up courage n put a stop to that sugar that might end up taking ur life,if she cannot face her family by returning to Nigeria, let her by all means look for a place n move to,so that she can continue with all that her unGodly attitude with anyone else.

  16. It is all about what you really want, go somewhere and clear your head then you will be able to take a decision you alone can handle.

  17. Has you said find out if it’s love or lust,with this quality I think you should go for her. You both are from the same culture, but figure it out to know if truly you love her.

  18. Hello,

    What is playing out here is a relationship built on a faulty foundation.

    Question is: are you even ready for a relationship or marriage?

    This is a lust filled relationship. You clearly are not thinking with your head but your manhood.

    Marriage is a serious thing. Be very careful who you sleep with. Is she the type of woman you want to grow old with?

    She followed a man all the way to Ghana…had several abortions …lied to her family…now she is using s*x to hold you down…

    Is that really the definition of a wife material for you?

    What at her personal goals?how will she compliment your own visions? apart from s*x,what else does she bring to the table?…what about her morals? her spiritual beliefs? Is she one that will inspire you to be a better human being to God and society?

    I think you need to stop sleeping with her…send her back to her family and really have deep sober reflections and thinking before you make any decision about her or your future life partner.

    Wish you all the best.

  19. Hello,
    With your story the lady is not descent right from time…let her go and don’t be decieved by s*x, marriage is more than s*x.
    Pls, plan your life with your girlfriend and move on.thanks.
    Regards

  20. It might actually be lust and not love. Firstly you have to pray and cut connections with the girl. While you tell your girlfriend what has been happening… And that you want to straighten your head to know what you want… Take your time from them both and clear your head to know your stand

  21. Sin is very sweet until it ruins you, what you are doing is the wrong thing my brother, if you love your girlfriend, send that girl out of your house and tell her the truth. God will help you.

  22. […] in the bathroom was my only option if the husband was in the bedroom. Then,came corona virus (covid-19)shut down. We were all stuck in the house […]

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