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How Do I Prove To Him That I Have Never Slept With A Married Man?

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Hi,

Please hide my identity. I know many people might shame me for the story am about to share. That is why I have been keeping quiet about it for so long. But I cannot keep quiet anymore. The success of my relationship depends largely on this.

My Step sister’s husband sent me a racy video last year. He immediately called me and said it was a mistake. He said someone hacked his phone and sent p*rn to his contact. He begged me not to tell my sister and to compensate me,he sent me 30k.

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That was how our relationship started. He would ask me to send him nudes of me. Knowing that I need the money for school,I thought it was harmless. So,he would send me his too. Sometimes he would masturbate to my nudes and send me voice notes of him pleasuring himself.

Most times,he would send between 20 & 50k for my cooperation. I am not proud of what I am doing but coming from a polygamous home like ours,it was all man for himself. At least,I was not prostituting. I also work part time to add to whatever I get from my sister’s husband.

Five months ago,we went to my sister’s husband’s village for their father’s burial. I met one of their relatives who took interest in me and has been asking me to marry him.He is cool and I like him alot. We have been dating since until my sister’s husband found out.

I discovered that he told this man that I am a bad girl and he should not marry me. Initially,I was not aware of the reason but he just stopped calling me after 2 months of professing so much love for me. I tried to call him but he didnt pick my call. Along the line,I told my sister to help me find out why the guy lost interest in me.

It was my sister who later told me that the guy said he found out that I sleep with married men for money. I was like:that is a lie. I knew where it was coming from:my sister’s husband of course. I was enraged. I confronted him but he denied it and said he never said anything of such.

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I have tried all to prove to this gut that I am not what he heard about me but he wont listen. Now,I feel like exposing my sister’s husband for destroying my relationship. I only sent nudes to him,I never slept with him. I told him to tell the truth or I will go to his wife and show her the nudes we exchanged.

This man had the guts to tell me to go to hell. I feel hurt cos I am loosing a good man for something I never did. I know if I tell my sister,there will be trouble in her marriage ,my sister will be disappointed in me but I also feel I should clear my name from this accusation of sleeping with married men.

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I have never slept with any married man in my life before,I have only sent nudes to my sister’s husband and I did that for the money which I badly needed to further my ND course. How is what my sister’s husband did ok…why cant I be allowed my own happiness?I do not want to loose this man who promised to marry me cos he also said he will take care of my studies.

Please advise me:how do I handle this situation?

 

Anonymous Lively Stones Facebook Fan

 

Photo Credit:marieclaire

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Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

11 COMMENTS

  1. In life we should always know that what we do has its penalty ,either direct or indirect. What your sis hubby did could the repaccusion of flirting with your sis hubby.
    You talked of someone destroying your own happiness. Question , if your sis get to hear about the videos, will she be happy ?
    First of all , Repent of your sins. Stop flirting and turn a new leaf, if he Is really the one for you, he will come back.

  2. You had an online s*xual relationship with that man,periodt! Sexting is infidelity. And you assumed the person who would stoop so low to do that with his sister in law is a normal person? You need help.
    Ask God for forgiveness and amend your ways.

  3. Hmmmm,this mata tire wapper ooo, telling ur sister about what u did with her husband would bring so much problems for u,becos in the first place,u should not have started the nude picture sending n collecting money from ur sis husband,now see what that thing u thought was nothing is causing u a whole lot of shit? Some men are very selfish,he intentionally told that guy about what u guys have been doing simply becos he still enjoys what u have been doing with him . Now see what u should do, allow that ur man to have his peace of mind ,as in let him be,stop trying to let him understand, cos he honestly wouldn’t,becos men have a particular way doing things. Becos his relative tood him,he taking it to be true. N don’t bother telling ur sister about anything that happened betwn u n her husband,becos things will never be the same again betwn ur sis n u, so let the man go n learn from this incident. N again,if that man was meant for u he will certainly come back to u,but if he’s not meant for u,it doesn’t mata how u guys are,he will definitely fyn his square root. Cheers

    • To avoid urself from facing crises in ur home,let dat guy go,u will definitely find s1 who will cherish u n love u for who ur are… If u explain ur self to dis guy n he later married u there will be a big problem in ur home bcos ur aunt hubby has seen ur nudeness b4 n he will definitely will coming for more dat is d way men behavior . let peace to regin n let go off d Guy.. And u too need to change ur ways ,life is a lesson abdm this situation v taught u one

  4. Please forget vengeance for God because things will get more worst to you than you are expected in you expose your sister husband, is like doing more harm to yourself, if you will take my advice forget about the relationship and move on because that man in question don’t love you much because if he do he won’t concentrate on your ugly past because he was not your present person should be his major priority, so do all you can to talk to him,if he bent on talking about your past then you will have to know he too he is fooling you.

    • My dear it’s the Bible that says anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has committed adultery already.

      You are guilty of what your sister’s husband is accusing you of, face that reality no matter how painful it sounds.

      The you need to say the truth to the guy in question. If he loves you that much he’ll stay but of he doesn’t then know that you’re reaping from what you’ve shown.

      As for your sister’s husband run away from him and all those s*xting, it’s only a matter of time before you’re found out and that’ll mean WAR!
      You may not be able to open up to your sister but I think you should start apologising to her even if you don’t tell her why.

      You will overcome this.
      Do take care.

  5. Hello,

    Please repent before God sincerely and ask Him for another opportunity.

    If your fiancée doesn’t come back don’t worry it is not the end of the world, when next someone serious requests your hand in marriage, let them know yourself before your Sisters husband tells them but don’t let a mistake from the past make you compromise to indulge in fornication again ie. new fiancée expecting same gesture since you’ve done it in the past .

    There are ‘clean’ ways around paying fees. Please stop the nudes with your Sisters husband going forward.

    What you did with your Sisters husband was as bad as adultery ‘But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart‘.

    I’m wondering, why did he pick you? Do you dress/ act suggestively?

    My opinion – you may not tell your Sister what happened so it does not break their marriage but let someone credible in the family who you can trust that you both respect know showing them the evidence incase of any dramas in the future since He remains family.

    All the best,

  6. I don’t see any way out here just move on it’s not easy but u mustn’t marry him cos if u tell ur sister d Truth things will be so bad u will wish u didn’t say anything so pls u made a mistake bear the consequences for d fact u didn’t sleep with him doesn’t make wat u did right so just be calm u never can tell wat will come out of all dis

  7. Leave your stepsister’s husband alone, he is just jealous of your happiness. Stay away from him and his family. As for the man that promised to marry you, I think you should let him be obviously he believes what his family member has told him.
    But going forward, you must tell any man that shows serious interest in you about your step brother in law because he will still try to bad mouth you.
    Also change your ways and ask God for forgiveness.

  8. I wont advise you to scatter your sister marriage because from the look of things that man isnt a faithful man.. I am sure he is cheating outside but dont let ur own be the one to open his secret to his wife…stop doing what u are doing for money, pray and work hard and forget ur sisters husband.if possible dont go near him or his house…God will give u another man if the other man loves you enough to married you he will come back

  9. You know,it saddens me when girls/ladies always play the victim role when they should clearly take responsibility.

    You had a choice to either send or not send nudes to your sister;s husband,you CHOOSE to do it. You are wrong and that should stop immediately.

    There are several legal ways of making a living that does not involve selling your intergrity or hurting a marriage.

    Ladies wise up!

    As for your new boo….he is probably not the man for you. If he would believe what other say about you more than he believes you,then he should bounce.

    You deserve way better. Stop waiting for a man to help you through school. You can do it by yourself and with God helping you.

    Do an honest job and be proud of the fruits of your hard work. If you dont,you will keep failing into the hands of people who will not take you seriously.

    God bless you.

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