I need your advise. I think my wife is ashamed of me. We met 4 years ago through a mutual friend. She was acting like she was not interested when I was trying to woo her so I got tired and forgot about her. Not long after,she reconnected and started singing a new song.
This time,she seemed very interested especially when I told her I was not looking for a casual relationship but something that would lead to marriage. She got pregnant and we had to get married quickly before she started to show.
One thing she told me however is that she likes to keep her private life off social media. So even though I loved posting our relationship and fun memories on my social media,she didnt post anything about me on hers. I took her word for it,that she wants to keep things private. When we got married,her younger sister moved in with us and that girl is a very stubborn and spoiled girl.
Her sister caused alot of arguments between us and at some point,I was like,the sister needs to go. That was when the mother and family members came after me. They rained insults on me and said that I am not good enough for their daughter.
To be honest,I never knew that was how they felt about me and that really disturbed me. But for peace sake,I ignored them and tried to move on. But with what is going on in my marriage,I strongly believe that my wife is ashamed of me and her family thinks I am not good enough for them.
My wife disrespects me at the slightest chance. She used to be a banker but she was fired in January,so I told her to take care of the children until she finds another job,I suggested we ask the house help to go so we wont need to spend money paying her,especially with the way things are for us financially.
My wife refused and accused me of trying to make her a common house wife. That she is a masters degree holder and can never stay at home just taking care of children and the house. I said ok. But I will not pay the house help. When month end came,I did not pay the house help. My wife was furious and we quarreled but I maintained my stand.
She had no choice but to send the house help away. Now,my wife leaves the house almost everyday to go and visit friends in their offices and businesses all in the name of looking for jobs. She will leave in the morning and come back in the afternoon or around 4pm. The children are left with my neighbor.
I do not like how she is ignoring her responsibilities. I told her to stay at home,if she gets called for interview,I will take off day from work and stay with the children but she refused. My house is always dirty. She says she is not a cleaner. I am truly shocked at her.
Her mother will call her almost everyday on phone and they will talk for no less than 1 hour,45 mins everyday. A married woman. The mother will never ask of me or even caution the daughter to be respectful of her husband when they talk for so long.
When we want to make love,my wife will turn her face like I am smelling or something. I asked her if she is not enjoying it,she said she is,so why acting like she is not? She said that is how her face is. I left it there. I am a man of peace. I want peace in my home.
The latest thing she did that made me realize she is not proud of me or ashamed of me is fathers’ day. On father’s day,she posted happy father’s day to her father and all fathers out there. She never posted anything about me. I asked her why,she said she wants to keep her family out of social media.
But when I checked her social media which I have never done,she post pictures of our children,her family,colleagues but nothing on me. Her reason was;she does not want to post pictures of me so other ladies will not see it and be coming after me.
I can no longer take the level of disrespect and stubbornness from my wife. I love her but she needs to see me as her husband and be submissive. She needs to stay more at home to take care of the home at least,until she gets a job. My house must be clean and lastly,is she does not show that she is proud of me,then we may be having a serious problem that may lead to separation.
Another thing she does,she wears very skimpy dresses,showing her cleavage,heavy make up and all. I have told her she needs to be a little more modest but she says I am trying to silence her. Sometimes I suspect she is maybe be seeking attention from other men but I have not caught her doing anything…at least…for now.
Please advise me because I do have done everything to talk to my wife but she does not listen. Maybe if I threathen her with divorce then she will sit up. What do you think?
From Worried Man on Lively Stones Whatsapp Group