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My Fiance’s Family Says My Sister & I Brought Bad Luck To Their Son

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Hello all,

My story is that of me and my sister,Ugonma (Not real name). She has always been that pretty sister that got more the attention while we were growing up. She got alot of suitors when we were younger and she got married at the age of 22.

Her marriage was not successful as she cheated on her husband several times. The poor man realized that my sister could not be tamed after countless fights and family intervention could not help. One wondered why she even got married in the first place.

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The marriage finally fell apart after 4 years. The marriage produced 2 boys: 3 & 2 years old. My sister abandoned the boys with their father who could not take care of them. The family decided that the children be left with me while their father send money for their up keep.

Being unmarried,I did not mind but I noticed taking care of these children made dating difficult for me. You see,our parents passed on 11 and 12 years ago and my siblings naturally look up to me as the eldest. We were disappointed in my sister’s behavior because she cheated on her husband and ran away with a so called rich man.

Ugonma’s husband’s job made it impossible to take care of two young kids alone. His family lives very far in Kogi and we all agreed it was best to keep the child close to family here in Lagos. I love my sisters children like my own and they began to call me mummy soon enough.

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Their father and I became closer because of this and even though we did not plan this,we developed feelings for each other. This man is a good man. We tried to keep our feelings in check but it was so difficult.

He eventually approached my family elders for my hand in marriage and even though they were shocked,they gave their blessings. My sister did not care when I told her I was with her ex- husband.  The only problem is his family. They feel my sister put their son through so much and they do not support our marriage.

My sister’s ex husband does not mind if his family does not give their blessings because he is made up his mind. But I do not feel comfortable. His mother actually thinks I am trying to charm the son the same way my sister married him and disgraced him by cheating several times.

How do I make them change their mind about me? I do not want my marriage to break up my man and his family. I have tried to engage them in a discussion,especially his mom but she does not want to even talk to me.

I need advise…what should I do?

Anonymous Lively Stones Facebook Fan

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My Fiance's Family Says My Sister & I Brought Bad Luck To Their Son
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

13 COMMENTS

  1. I don’t go along with you sister. Developing feelings for you sis ex-husband is way outta it to the extent of you wanting marriage…I don’t blame the mother she’s looking out for his son…We will definitely find another suitor but not this one MA…For me,it’s a NO go area..

  2. Please don’t do this. You don’t need this man. Another man will come your way. You’re more than your sister ex.

    • I don’t support such union.
      Put yourself in the mother’s shoes. If your son wants to marry the sister of the woman married to your son but left him because of her promiscuous ways, would you support such union?
      Be honest with yourself.
      That union is a no no for me

  3. I won’t support such union. Put yourself in the mother’s shoes. Would you want your son to marry the sister of a woman who left your son because of her promiscuous life? Be honest with yourself.
    That union is a no no for me.

  4. My dear ! I really appreciate you for what you did to help your sister!

    I want you to know that God has blessed and compensated you!

    For the family leave the father of the kids to handle them face the new family that God has given you!

    When God blesses a man with coat of many colors like your not everybody would be ready to celebrate with you even if you invite them

  5. Hello Big sister,
    Why should you develop feelings for your sister’s ex – husband out of all good, handsome, respectable and responsible men in the society ?

    Now, you are even talking about marriage with your sister’s ex – husband. No ma ! It doesn’t befit you at all.

    I am very sure you are a beautiful, charming, sweet, lovely and responsible woman. Search and wait for your original bone and flesh. He’s out there ! God will soon bring him to you. Pray ask God to send him.
    Don’t go for anything less. Don’t go for your sister’s ex – husband.

    Cheers

  6. I will advise you to leave him and move on with your life..God will send you your own man..best of luck ma’am..

  7. I don’t think it’s a good idea to get married to your sister’s ex husband. It’s against customs and traditions that you get married to same blood sister’s husband, whether previous or present. I wouldn’t advice someone to do that because in the long run, hatred will start paving it’s way into the two of you(sister’s)

  8. This is a tough one,are you really sure you love this man?Marrying your sister’s husband is not a good idea,it simply means you are gonna be your sister’s children step mother and at the same time be their aunt and also they are nephews to you.Pls do not marry him,your man will come ,this is to avoid having issues with your sister in future.Take care of your nephews and do not sleep with your ex in-law.

  9. How can you marry your sister’s ex husband? Looks like nothing is a taboo in this world anymore. This is a no no. I don’t blame the mother and his family members kicking against it. Please leave the man alone and let him take your nephews to his family members to avoid getting in touch with you.

  10. Avoid the mess. No reasonable mother would support her son getting married to same sisters at different times. Close this chapter, open your eyes and heart, another good man will find you. You won’t likely win this game.

  11. Hello,

    My advice is: be a good Aunty for the children but do not marry him.

    The situation feels awkward. He was your sister’s husband. No matter what happened,he is your brother-inlaw and that is family.

    Besides his family feels different about the marriage.

    God will give you your own husband…let him go.

    Its too complicated….no use starting life or getting married in such a complicated circumstances.

    Some may not be bothered but since you are bothered….walk away.

    The aesthetics does not seem right.

    Wish you all the best.

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