Good da ma’am,
I was referred to Lively Stones by a close friend. I need advise for my marriage. We are having issues and I do not think I trust my wife. I met my wife about 5 years ago. At the time I was wooing her,she gave me a hard time . I tried to date other women because she was playing hard to get but she was the only woman who truly caught my heart.
After trying her for like 4 months,I finally gave up and decided to forget about her. Like almost a year later,she started chatting me up and this time,she seemed ready so I went after her. I am not a perfect guy but I tried my possible best to make her happy.
One thing she said was that her last relationship really broke her heart,so she is finding it hard to trust a man again. I assured her countless times of my love and commitment. She did not introduce me to her family until almost 7 months.
She tested me several times to see if I truly loved her and to the glory of God,I did my best. I showered her with love,gifts,nice things. I even started to be more godly because of her. I began to go to church with her. I love the fact that she was even challenging me to be a good Christian.
A year later,I felt I had passed her tests,I proposed to her. God saved me that I did not propose in public like I have always dreamed. I proposed to her in her apartment. I was in love,crazy in love and she loved me or so I thought. But when I proposed to her,she rejected my proposal.
According to her,one year is not enough to know someone to marry. I was crushed. I had gone to the end of the earth and back for her,yet she rejected me. She asked me to give her more time. I was too embarrassed I told her,no need. If after one year,she is not sure she wants to marry me,then no need to waste each other’s time.
Her excuse every time was that, she wants to be careful not get heartbroken again. I felt she was stuck in her old relationship or punishing me for what her ex did and I was tired of being that guy. It was painful but I moved on.
Two weeks later,she came back,begging and crying for forgiveness. That she was confused but now she sees she cannot live without me.She was ready to accept my proposal and I was so overjoyed that I proposed again. I even had a second proposal at a restaurant with our friends coming around.
We got married two and half months later. I was the happiest man on earth. Beautiful wife,beautiful life,everything was going well. I could not wait to start a family with her.We talked about it. We joked about having twins and be done because she said she does not want to be pregnant more than once so that she will disfigure her shape and then I will leave her when she is fat.
I laughed at her joke and assured her I would never leave her even if she turned yokuzuma (fat man or woman). So after the first year of marriage and no children,it began a prayer point . I suggested we also go for some medical tests which she objected to. She said she believes God will answer us in time.
After the second year of marriage,I convinced her for us to go for the tests. She reluctantly agreed. I mean,I know that its women that get worked up when they have delay in getting pregnant. But my wife was not worried. She kept saying God will do it in his time.
By the middle of the third year in marriage,I was referred to a fertility specialist. My wife made up excuses why she could not go and I matched every excuse with a no.We went to see the specialist. He examined me and my wife and told us nothing is wrong with both of us like other medical tests have shown.
As we were about to leave the doctor’s office,the doctor called me aside and told me that he would like to run some more tests on my wife.That he suspects something but he wants to be double sure. My wife made up plenty excuses why she would not be able to come for the tests but I insisted. At this stage,I was really getting suspicious at her nonchalance.
This caused plenty quarrels between us and I told my wife that she is behaving like she does not love me because she is only doing faith by saying God will provide but not willing to take the efforts to at least do everything we can to help our situation.
Eventually she went to see the doctor. The doctor demanded to see both is together. I went with her and once we saw the doctor,the doctor said to me: Mr X…your wife cannot get pregnant until the next 3 years. I was like what do you means sir? He turned and looked at my wife and said: madam,I think you know you have to explain things to your husband by yourself.
At this point,I was now looking like :what is going on here? What is my wife supposed to explain to me…why can’t we have a baby for the next 3 years? I was now really worried….
Anonymous Mr X from Lagos
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