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I was now really worried….I turned to my wife, asking her…honey, what is it? What are you supposed to be explain to me….my wife looked at me and the doctor and said she was sorry but she never knew it would get to this.
What did she mean by saying sorry? Did she destroy her womb with past abortions? But the doctor said 3 years. What could these mean? I was anxious at this time. My wife then explained and said to me: that while we were dating, she took a five year contraceptive injection which has hindered her from getting pregnant because the injection prevents pregnancy for 5 years.
I was like: what the hell are you trying to say? You took injections to prevent pregnancy and you never told me? And you been pretending to be praying and believing God for a child while you know you are not ready to have a child? I stormed out of the hospital.
I was so angry at her revelation and betrayal.
That day, we had the most difficult quarrel of our marriage. She tried to explain that her heart was broken from her previous relationship, hence she was not sure of my, she took that contraceptive to make sure she does not get tied down in marriage if things don’t work out.
To be honest, I am done with my wife always using her ex relationship to haunt me in my marriage. I do not think she has fully opened up to me. She might still be in love with her ex and I am sick of her deceit.
We have not recovered from that revelation ever since. She and her family have been begging me to forgive and forget. I have tried to forgive but the problem: I have lost trust for my wife. I do not know if that trust can ever be regained.
I feel less and less attracted to her now. I do not know if I can love her the way I wanted to. She has denied me the possibility of being a father for the next 2-3 years. We were dating when she took the injection and was pretending with all those fake pregnancy tests she would take very month…raising and dashing my hopes…yes…but then she could have at least told me, maybe I would have believed her and be more patient.
Please advise me. I really have started thinking of getting a divorce. How do we recover from this kind of hurt. Is this how every woman is? All I ever wanted was to be a good husband and father. I have tried my best but my wife has broken me so much. My friend gave me your details.
We need professional counseling but I fear that even counseling may not help because I now realize that when I first proposed to my wife, she rejected my proposal because she till loved her ex and she took semi permanent contraceptive when we were dating without telling me.
How can you help us ma…I will also like to read advise from other members of the group.
God bless you.
Anonymous Mr X from Lagos