Its Been Three Years Of Waiting-Will My Wife Ever Come Back Home?
Good evening ma,
I got your email from a colleague of mine. I want you to help me, to counsel me on the best decision to take at this moment of my life. I am a 39 year old man, doing well for myself. I got a good job and also my business. I got married to the love of my life 8 years ago.
The love of my life is Grace (not real name). We became lovers from year two in the university. Grace was the light of my life. Having come from a very poor background myself,Grace gave me hope to live and become successful in life.
Grace believed in me and was always supporting me, with school fees, moral support, advice, etc. We graduated from school and started from very humble beginnings. Her parents especially her father felt I was not good enough for her but she stuck with me.
When we left school, we had no accommodation so we squatted with friends, slept in locked up shops until things began to pick up for us. We got married when I landed my first job in the bank. She was not so lucky, she decided to go into business.
That was how we lived our lives. I was working at the bank and she gradually grew her baking business from working from home. We have two children who are my entire life. All these while that we were married, Grace family still did not accept our marriage. Only her mother and siblings were a bit friendly to us.
Grace father never accepted me. Until 3 years ago. Grace father suddenly began to show interest and become nice to us. Grace was so happy and I was too. He invited Grace to come see him in their home town.
Grace travelled with our children to see her dad. All was well but after 4 days that she was supposed to return back home, Grace did not return. I was expecting to pick her from the motor park but she never called me to say she had arrived Lagos.
So I called her. I called several times but she never picked up. I became worried so I called her mother. Her mother said Grace did not travel. I was shocked. I asked her to give Grace the phone but she said Grace did not want to speak to me.
I became really very worried. I kept calling till the next day. Grace refused to pick my call or talk to me when I spoke through her mother’s phone. I had to travel to their place 4 days later.
On getting to their place, I saw Grace and my children. They looked happy but Grace said to me,that she is not coming back to Lagos. I thought she was joking. I looked at her to see if she was not feeling fine but she seemed very fine.
I began to worry about my wife’s behavior. I called our pastor who asked to speak with her on the phone but my wife refused. I knelt down and begged my wife. I cried and begged her to return. She just looked at me and said: its over.
I begged my inlaws. Her mother and father: to talk to her. Her mother only shook her head. Her father did not even listen to me. He asked me to leave his house. I returned to lagos the next day confused and scared.
It was obvious something was wrong with my wife. What had they said to her? what had they done to her? Why did she reject me? We never had an issues before. We loved each other. I began to regret allowing her go to her parents place.
My pastor and my family members at different times went to see her and beg her. She totally refused to listen to anyone. I was so heartbroken. It affected my job and I almost lost my job. I could not eat or do anything. I became a shadow of myself.
I travelled every month to see her and my children. She would allow me see the children but refused to speak with me. It broke my heart each time I went to see them. Several prayers and deliverance were made: nothing.
That is how the first year went by and I lost my wife. She was with her parents. I see my children from once a month to like once in 3 months. It became more and more discouraging when it appeared nothing seemed to be changing.
Its been three years since my wife moved out of our marriage. I told myself, I would give her two years to return. But two years passed and nothing happened. Infact, my wife started dating someone else.
I began to start afresh. Its very hard but I tried. I met an amazing woman early this year. She loved me even in my pain. I only promised her friendship but She cared for me. I explained to her and she was very understanding. This woman comforted me and gave me my strength back.
I have not slept with any woman since the last three years. Yes,that is how long I have waited. But I need a woman and my new lady friend has been so kind and patient with me.I know she is waiting for me to make love to her cos the chemistry between us is very strong now.
My heart is torn. No doubt, Grace is the love of my life. I want to go back to her and start all over again but after three years of waiting,do you think she would ever come back to me?From her behavior,it seems very bleak that she would but who knows…
Maybe its time to file for a divorce or should I still have faith in her and wait a little more? My family and everyone says its time to move on. I need your advice. Its it time to move on? Its not been easy,I miss the warmth of a woman. I just need to be sure I have done everything I can do…please advise.
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