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I Broke Up With My Ex Boyfriend But I Still Share Him With Another Woman

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I Broke Up With My Ex Boyfriend But I Still Share Him With Another Woman

Hello Madam,

I need advise. I was in a relationship with my ex for almost 3 years. We were happy. I did everything any girl could do for a boy she loves. He always called me wifey and all that. I was hoping we get married but even though he called me wifey he never proposed to me.

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On the third year, became a bit anxious. Like,we had moved in together, we live like a married couple but i appears no marriage was in sight. I asked him several times and he would ask me to calm down: that marriage is just a piece of paper…that everyone knows that I am his wife already.

But that is not how I am trained. My parents were not happy that I was living with him and he has not yet paid my bride price. I had to go speak with his sister who he respects a lot. So the sister came to talk to him.

They asked me to excuse them while they talked. I went to the room but later,I sneaked and hid so I could hear them talk. And do you know what my boyfriend said: that he cannot marry me because I have a big tummy. That he wants me to loose weight before he marries me.

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Yes,he has been playfully telling me to loose a little weight. I am a big girl and I am endowered. I have always been this way. I gym occasionally but to say I would become a size 10 is not just going to happen cos I have big bones. And with big bones,comes big muscles to cover the bones.

So when I over heard him telling the sister that,I was hurt because I thought he loved me like that. After they finished talking,they lied that he was going to marry me but I should give him time. I then told them that I overheard them talking so I know its because of my tummy that he does not want to marry me.

I broke up with him and moved out of the apartment. He did everything to beg me. That he just wants me to loose a little weight or do plastic surgery. I was upset that he was even still talking about how I looked before talking about marriage. I knew I would always feel body shamed cos of the way he was talking.

I decided to end it all. Only for me to discover I was pregnant for him. I cried when I found out I was pregnant cos that was my dream. My dream was to be married and pregnant for him. Now,I am pregnant and out of wedlock for that matter. I decided to keep the baby.

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I had my son 8 months later. By then,my ex had moved on to a new lady. It was so easy for him so I decided to move on too. Unfortunately,I have not been so lucky in love. No guy realy wants a woman who has a child already. Sometimes its lonely for me.

So, when my ex started flirting with me again,I could not resist much.I think he knows I stilllove him and he is taking advantage of me. No,his current girlfriend is not aware that he is hooking up with me so I managed to try to stop him from coming to see me again.

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Then he did something. It was my birthday last month. He organized a surprise party for me and proposed at the party. I was shocked cos I knew he was still dating someone else. He went on one knee and everyone was so happy for me,so I accepted his proposal but told him later on that I will not marry him except he break up with his girlfriend.

He has said I should give him time,that he will end things with her. That he wants to make it seem like they are not compactible so that the girl so he can leave her effortlessly. That to me was bullsh*t but everyone has asked me to be patient. That he does not want to hurt the other girl by just breaking up with her just like that.He is saying I should give him like 3 months to leave the girl …

Is that even reasonable? I love him …I want to move on but he has engaged me and seems to be a changed man but he still with the other girl. Should I just wait and give him the benefit of waiting a couples of months before or how do I finally let him go without feeling attached to him.

I truly cannot help how I feel about him…I just wish things were a bit different.  I got a ring,a marriage proposal but I still share him with another woman …temporarily he says though…what should I do?

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Photo Credit:Bustle

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I Broke Up With My Ex Boyfriend But I Still Share Him With Another Woman
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

12 COMMENTS

  1. Give him that couple of months he wants and then move on if he’s still in the relationship…

    Mind you, cause you are engaged to him doesn’t mean you are bounded to him.

  2. Does he know u have a child for him?.. I think d best thing is 2 wait for DAT month he promise 2 break up with d lady,b4 u know d next step 2 take….

  3. What’s wrong with you madam ! You are using your hands to spoil your life , you can’t always have things to go your own way always ! You moved out, you got pregnant he beg u didn’t listen he came back for u n proposed u don’t want to wait despite all reasonable reasons na wa o! Wat u need is an atm machine! You have to wait o! U don’t even have a choice sef! You hear wait u would not die wait

  4. […] said the lady broke up with him and he found out that it was because my husband gave her money and he suspects my husband is […]

  5. Dear Lady,

    My tough love is this:

    Put some respect on yourself!

    So, a man rejects you and body shames you…you suffer humiliation and just because you fear no one will love a single mother,you go back to your vomit?

    On top of that,you are sharing him with another woman?

    This man is just chopping and cleaning mouth and you my dear…you seem like a fool to him.

    So,my prayer is…wise up and return his ring.

    Love yourself…develop your self esteem and confidence and trust me,guys love single mother a lot.

    You know why? Cos single mothers are mature and men want mature women who can give them not just s8x but peace of mind.

    So stop lying to yourself that you have a future with this dude….he is just eating his cake and having it.

    Do not enable his bad behavior and his disrespect.

    Be wise and be strong…a brighter future is yours to grab.

    Wish you all the best.

  6. […] my I’d My husband younger brother happens to be my Ex boyfriend during my undergraduate years in school. Before my wedding I wanted to tell my husband but my ex […]

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