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My Husband & My Brother Are Clashing -Which Of Them Is Speakig The Truth?


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My Husband & My Brother Are Clashing

Hello ma,

I am in need of advise. I really do not want to assume problem where there is none. I have been married to my husband for 9 years now. Up until now,everything has been fine in our marriage. I have never had a reason to doubt my husband’s faithfulness.

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Well,until my younger brother came to live with us last year. He was posted to Ibadan for his youth service and he moved in with us. We have a boys quarters,so it was not a problem for us at all. The only issue I had was that I noticed he would bring different girls to his room and I used to shout at him but he is an adult,what else can I do….

Until one day, I started to notice that my brother and my husband were becoming aggressive towards each other. Of course,I would never support my brother disrespecting my husband so I warned him to behave himself or move out.

Meanwhile,my husband was already saying he wants my brother to leave because he was being mad disrespectful to him. I called my brother and queried him on his behavior. All he said was: go and ask your husband what really happened.

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I became angry that he would not tell me why he was disrespecting my husband and I threatened send him packing. That was when he said that he discovered that my husband was going after one of the ladies who brought to the house a couple of weeks ago.

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He said the lady broke up with him and he found out that it was because my husband gave her money and he suspects my husband is cheating with the lady. That made my brother very upset with hubby. This information was a shock to me. I asked my brother several times if he was sure,he was like I should ask my husband na.

Well, I asked my husband and he denied it flat. Saying he does not know what my brother is talking about. To verify the truth,I called the girl’s number but discovered her number has not been going through for days now. I am confused. Hubby has denied flat the allegation but my brother insists that hubby is a cheat and stole his girlfriend.

I am quite perplexed. I want to believe my husband because my brother has no real proof but then,he is my brother..why will he lie to me? My husband is now angry that I am believing my brother over him…he has not been talking to me for almost 3 days.

Should I go and beg him? But what if he actually did chase that girl? How can I be sure of who is telling the truth? Meanwhile,hubby is insisting brother must leave the house…who do I believe? what do I do now?

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My Husband & My Brother Are Clashing -Which Of Them Is Speakig The Truth?
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. I think you should just let the whole stuff pass because there are truth that are meant kept , or worth not knowing at all. Then you look for way to get your brother another accommodation.

  2. You weren’t expecting your husband to admit na.. your husband asking your brother to leave is not the solution to the problem but just look for for an alternative accommodation for your brother and shine your eyes babes..best of luck ma’am.

  3. A stitch in time saves nine! Your brothers presence is causing friction in your marriage and it’s expected ! Kindly give your brother money to rent an apartment outside! Your marriage is more important to you right now wether the info is true or not! Just reconcile with your husbby of Nine years and keep counting! No proof no case case closed!

    God bless your marriage!

  4. Your brother must leave the house this minute,what rubbish?What made him bring In women not even a woman into your house in the first place, it shows he does not have any atom of regard for both you and hubby.You have been married to you husband for 9years and there has not been any sign or trace of unfaithfulness, your brother comes into your family and wants to bring problems. Apologise to your husband, afterall there is no proof of infedility yet,get another apartment for your brother and let him stay clear from your home,you better fight for your marriage and do not allow any brother to come and put asunder. Madam you better start trusting your husband, so this means that an outsider can come and tell you sheet about your sweety and you will believe.Biko go and settle with your honey.

  5. You shouldn’t have asked your husband in the first place. You should have gotten evidence before accusing him. So beg your husband and get another apartment for your brother.
    You allowing your brother to bring in different ladies to your house opened up a door for possible infidelity from your husband. You don’t do such for the sake of your marriage especially your children and husband. What lessons will your children learn from such behaviours from their Uncle? They will also think it is right to multiple partner relationships or even think ladies are toy things.
    Please protect your marriage and children. Get another apartment for your brother to restore peace in your family.

  6. There’s a possibility gat your husband is lying, even if you caught him cheating what will you do? From the way Men fight I think your brother is telling the truth here. So if your husband is cheating are you going to go after the girl? You called her number….

    Make peace with hubby and your brother but there should be no girl coming to your house again. Your brother should deal with that. You can never know a person fully, it doesn’t matter if you’ve been married to them for 9 years or more.

    Just ensure there’s peace in your home and move on.

  7. Make peace between your brother and husband both are your family members and can never be enemies, warn ur brother to stop bringing in girls in the house it is lack of respect. Whether the issue is true or not do you expect your husband to agree but I must tell you to shine your eyes from now on

  8. Let your brother leave the house and then you forget any of that ever happened…let it go but don’t forget to love your husband and pray for him.

  9. Hmm,

    Some men and women….

    How your brother changes women is inappropriate and if your husband did try to get down with one of his women…that’s really crazy.

    But since you have no evidence, you just have to stick with your husband .

    I would say worry more about physical threats than unseen threats.

    Your husband and your brother cannot live in same house…

    Your brother should leave your house and perhaps prevent your husband from potentially cheating with one of your brother’s girls.

    In all, commit all to prayers. And please make peace with your husband, he is not guilty until he is caught.

    In the meantime, your brother needs to respect him as your husband or better still leave and stop bringing different women to your home.

    All the best.

    • Hmmm, madam, did you ask hubby why he detest your brother so much all of a sudden and is always at loggerheads? How did it start? It’s just like saying your housegurl is insulting your hubby and he wants her to leave, there’s more to it. What gave him that guts to insult his elder sister’s husband? There’s more to the story and your hubby is lying but then what will you do if you discovered your husband lied or has girlfriend (s)? Nothing o. So just brace up for whenever you discover the truth cos I know men don’t fight. You probably haven’t had time to study your hubby so start now and know your place. I believe your brother my sister and I don’t think you should send him to another place cos of this except you can afford to. Just don’t encourage him bringing girls home. Pray about it and make peace with your family


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