After Two Years Of Living Together:My Fiance Will Only Marry Me On One Condition
I need your advice. Hide my identity. I have been in a loving relationship with a divorcee. Our relationship is over 2 years now. My fiance is sweet and takes care of me, but since he told me he is interested in me,its been over 9 months but nothing has been done.
As expected, I have become worried that he does not seem to be saying anything about our marriage. So, I had to ask him where our relationship was heading to. That was about like 6 months ago. He told me not to worry,that marriage is before the end of this year.
At least,we will do introduction he said.Now,its August and he still is keeping mute. So,I asked again,when is our introduction: is it September or October or November or December? He then got a little upset and said,have I not told you before the end of the year?
I was like,even if its before the end of the year,shouldnt we talk about it and prepare for it? He then said the way am going about this marriage thing,he does not like it. That he has been married before,he does not want to be rushed into marriage and make the same mistake.
Ok,so he was married to someone for six years and he said to me that the ex wife was always having miscarriages and was suspecting everyone in his family of being against her which was not true. That the lady eventually ran off with her ex lover.
So saying he would make the same mistake is baffling for me. If anything,I have shown commitment to him and his family loves me. I believe two years is enough to date someone before marriage. If he is not making up his mind,I will leave. He cannot use the fear of his last marriage to tie me down.
Yesterday, I was so down and depressed because of this. He kept asking me what was the matter. I said nothing. In the night,he tried to touch me and I pushed him away. That got him angry. He said some things …maybe in anger but they really hurt me.
He said that why am I desperate to get married to him when I have not even gotten pregnant for him after two years of dating?. I was like what? He said yes…that he has been waiting for me to get pregnant…that we have been sexually active for two years and I have never missed my period once.
So, apparently, he wants me to get pregnant before marrying me. I told him I have been on contraceptives and I will not get pregnant until after marriage. He said he wants proof that I will give him a child before he will marry me. That his ex wife was always having miscarriage and deprived him of having children for six years of marriage.
Ma,this revelation through me off balance. So,all these while,he has been waiting for me to be pregnant? Well, I told him no…no pregnancy until marriage. He then said…then there is no need to us to be together. I was shocked…I asked him what he meant by that,…and he said it again.
That was last night. Since then,we have not been speaking with each other. He left early this morning and I am just so hurt that I feel like packing my bags and leaving this house and relationship right away.
I called my friend and told her. She was like,if that is what it would take to get married,then I should get pregnant. Afterall,he is showing he loves me and he takes really good care of me. That we have been living together ..almost like husband and wife…so why wait to get pregnant.
My friend even warned me not to allow another woman get pregnant for him before me …otherwise,he might marry that person cos he is obviously desperate for a child.
Its just against my personal principle. But if he says its over between us, should I change my mind and get pregnant? I love my fiance so much. I do not want to loose him…I just do not like this condition he is giving me.
How do I convince him to wait till we get married? Or do you think I should get pregnant like he said? I need your advise.
Anonymous Email Post