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My Fiance Is Under Investigation For S*xual Harassment – A Set Up Or Red Flag?


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My Fiance Is Under Investigation For Sexual Harassment – A Set Up Or Red Flag?

Hello ma,

I need your advise. Please keep me anonymous. I am a 23 year old part time student. I work in a popular massive supermarket. I started working there since last year. Along the line, I became close to my supervisor.

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He is a great guy,very smart and caring. I have only had one boyfriend who broke my heart two years ago so I made up my mind not to date anyone except its leading to marriage. So, when he came for me, I told him I liked him but I am not into casual dating. He agreed and said lets see how it goes.

We been dating since last year,we try to keep it professional at work but some people know we are together. Thank God,we only kiss and make out, I tried not to have s*x with him even though I want to. He is so handsome and sexy ma. I feel lucky to be his gal.

After dating for like 8 months,he said he wants to marry me. I was like,awww…why not propose in the mall where we work. Cos I used to love when we see couples propose in the mall. The excitement and romance made me wish it could happen to me. He was like,no,he cannot propose cos that is where we work.

So I asked my manager if my boyfriend can propose to me in the supermarket and he said yes. So,excitedly, I told him to go ahead and propose to me. At least to show to everyone that he is not ashamed of me…to be an example that one can also find love in the workplace.

My boyfriend reluctantly agreed cos I told him that is what I wanted. Especially for some ladies who work with us to see cos I wont lie…I sometimes see them flirting around with him. Can you blame them,he is sooooooo fine ma. My boyfriend planned a mall proposal to me last week Tuesday in the supermarket where we both work.

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Ma,it was so magical. I felt like a princess…I cried and when the crowd cheered…I said a resounding yes! I thought everyone was happy for me. Or so I thought. Until last Friday when my manager called me into his office with my Fiance.

He told me that 2 Counter ladies had come to lay complain that my fiance was lying to them and sleeping with them as well with dating me. That they slept with my fiance to get a job at the supermarket. That there are other girls he has slept with but those ones refused to come forward.

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I was in shock and looked at my fiance in disbelief …waiting for him to deny it. He knelt down and started begging. Saying that its a lie …that he only slept with them when he was single. That they came to him and he never forced anyone. That he has since stopped when we started dating.

Ma, my manager said the company will investigate and determine if it was consensual s*x or he was actually taking advantage of these girls. My guy swears to me that he is not that kind of guy. That he did sleep with the 2 girls at different times but that they knew it was just s*x and that he was not dating anyone or them neither did he give them a job in exchange for s*x.

I am really confused and disappointed. This guy may not be all that I thought he was. Now, he is under investigation. If he is found guilty of taking advantage of these girls,he might loose his job. He swears to me that the girls are only taking this action because they are jealous of me. That I slept with them as nothing whereas he proposed to me.

His friend that works with us in the same supermarket is confirming that my fiance stopped hanging out with the girls in work since he started dating me. That those girls are loose girls..that they have also slept with other guys in the same office and even with customers. That I should not allow them to destroy our relationship.

Ma,I want to believe him and my fiance. I am just confused. Yes, there have been rumors of coworkers sleeping around but I never witnessed any. I feel ashamed that my fiance has slept with girls in my company. But he said it was before he met me.

What should I do? Should I believe him or wait for the report of the investigation? My fiance says the report might indict him because its obvious that when it comes to s*x,people tend to believe the women more than the men.

My fiance says his conscience is clear,that he only slept with them when he was single and it was consensual and it was at different times and he knows he is not the only one who has slept with those girls….

His actions are not justified..he is sorry about it …I just dont know if I should accept his apology of call off the engagement? I love him so much…going to work,people now are gossiping about me and him.

I tend to want to forgive him cos I know people may also be jealous cos how come they never said anything until our engagement?

Ma..Its hard..should I break up with him or forgive him since he did all these before he met me and as a single guy?

I await you advise…


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My Fiance Is Under Investigation For S*xual Harassment - A Set Up Or Red Flag?
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Clearly, it is a case of jealousy. You have said so yourself.

    That is what to expect when you decide to make people jealous all in the name of a public proposal. You are even partly to blame for this. Remeber, he wanted a private proposal.

    Stick with your man. Nonetheless, be careful.

  2. That guy is better without you in his life. You’re controlling and manipulating at the same time. Your insisting on mall proposal has put him on the spot. When he loses his job hope you will stand by him and not give him silly attitude. You have not said you love him.

  3. Forgive him and move on.. this is a clear case of jealousy..if they were actually forced the other girls would have come out too..so forgive him and move on.

  4. Na wao,this no be wetin person go come dey talk about na,are u not senstive enough to see that it’s a set up? Are u that blind ? Please open ur eyes and ears becos u will hear more, n until u see it with ur eyes, don’t let anything or anyone make u give up on ur husband be to,becos they are all jealous that he chose u over them. So stay calm n also pray

    Good luck

  5. I think it is jealousy. Stick to your man. You may need to postpone marriage plans for the time being.
    You also need to pray that God will help you expose the truth and direct you.

    Prayer is very key in all this. Pray together!!!

  6. You are to blame for insisting on public proposal. So a set up was the outcome. You will regret your actions if you walk out on the guy now. Good luck

  7. You are also partly responsible for the trouble he’s facing now, you went to the extreme of asking the manager for permission, the girls accusing him maybe jealous, but you never know where your manager stand. Maybe s/he is also part of the plot.
    You caused this, you have to stand and support your nan. Wether the outcome maybe good or bad.
    Every one has got his/her past, I believe you also not a saint.
    Stand by him since you are the root cause of all the mess.

  8. Hi,

    I think whatever happened with your boyfriend and those girls may be in the past(before both you started dating)…otherwise,how come they did not speak up until he got publicly engaged to you?

    In any case, I think you should wait for the result of the investigation. If your man is not guilty…good…if he is…its up to you to decide to forgive him or move on.

    I think in the long run…time will tell …just be patient.Maybe both of you should start looking for another place of employment cos s*xual scandal (even if it just an allegation)tends to scar working relationship for a long time.

    Pray about this…what does your gut tell you? I think if you work in a public place..your relationship will be under constant scrutiny..try and keep it private.

    Do not be in a hurry to get married…whatever the outcome….be more observant and get to know your man better before deciding if you will both eventually make it to marriage.


  9. […] advise me before it’s too late. I feel this is a red flag. Anyone asking me to obey him does not want me to live my dreams. I gained so much weight from this […]


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