My Husband Made Me Desperate-Is There Any Redemption For Our Marriage?
I remember when our problems started. It was a little over our 10th year wedding anniversary and my husband had just clocked 45 years.We had a great celebration for both milestones.
However, it seemed my husband realized that he had so much to achieve even as he pushed closer to his golden age of 50 years old. It started with him getting more contracts and that made him travel more and stay out late much more.
We are comfortable people but my husband wanted more for us. Our kids have become teenagers who are in secondary school abroad and the school fees was mind blowing. I did not want to complain because I knew he was working for the family’s good.
Even when he was at home,he was on his computer taking business meetings or making business calls. He would join me in bed around 2am or 3am. I missed him and how close we used to be. I would have focused my energy on work and children but the children were mostly in boarding school abroad.
My work closed by 4pm everyday and I was bored out of my head. I tried to enroll online to do my masters but that would mean more money which we didn’t really have to spare cos we were saving all that came to raise our kids in schools abroad.
When we made love,my husband was always tired and he became the proverbial 4 seconds guy. I was 42 years old for God’s sake and I was in my prime of sexuality. I seemed to want s*x everyday yet my husband was on a different tangent.
That was why I got a toy to help myself. That helped temporarily cos you cannot replace the warmth of a human man with a cold toy. I tried to speak to my husband about it and he tried to make time when he was around but the more his libido kept going down.
I began to feel abandoned as well. My house seemed lonely. No one to talk to most times. A year later,my husband got involved in a bad business. Yes,he is into real estate and investment. He got involved with some real estate that turned bad and the client took him to court for that.
We engaged a lawyer that helped pretty well but I noticed that this lawyer who is a divorcee seemed to spend more and more time with my husband than he would spend with me. They even traveled together for business since that court case. She was supposed to be in every negotiation to guide my husband on legal matters.
I seldom go to my husband’s office but that Lawyer made me so uncomfortable and I did not trust her even though my husband insisted their relationship was purely professional. I tipped my husband’s driver heavily to watch her for me.
It was my husband’s Driver that told me that he had seen them in compromising positions and that I should do everything to make sure the lady goes. I was livid. I challenged my husband and instead of listening to me,he told me I was just been crazy.
I decided to set a trap. I pretended to travel and made arrangements that to go visit the kids abroad.I traveled indeed and even called my husband when I arrived in the Uk. What he didn’t know was I asked the Driver to call me as soon as he saw something. The Driver called me two days later that my husband spent the night in the lady’s house.
I took a flight back to Lagos that same night and drove straight to the Lady’s house. I waited until night and behold, they both returned to her apartment around 11pm. I waited until 1 am that night and called my husband,told him I was outside the Lawyer’s apartment and saw him drive in.
My husband gave all the lame excuses but I am not a kid. He will not sleep with me or have time for me,yet he sleeps with his Lawyer? I felt betrayed and angry. He denied it but I was over it. I told him to fire her and he refused. Can you imagine? He refused. I watched as the lawyer got more and more closer to my husband. I didnt need a prophet to tell me they were having an affair.
I started drinking to help me sleep after several nights of shedding tears. I was becoming depressed and I did not know what to do. The rage I felt made me look for every opportunity to revenge on my husband.
On our 11th wedding anniversary,he claimed to be working late and out of town. I looked myself in the mirror and told myself to stop feeling sorry for myself. I got dressed up in the most sexy outfit I could find and drove out to the club in V.I. I wanted to have fun and forget my sorrows.
After several shots and acting like a fool around strange men, I let a stranger f*ck me in my car before I managed to get home. I felt so miserable with myself and I thought to end my life. This is not how I pictured my life. I knew I needed help and I called the only person I thought could help me: my ex.
My ex is a single dad. He never got married. He almost did but he eventually called it off cos the lady was not like me. I and him have been soul mates since we were 21 and 25. We called it off cos I wanted a more stable guy. It was a bad break up. He never forgave me but when I called him ….he picked up and we met two days later.
I have been seeing my ex for the last 3 months…..he makes me feel happy because we don’t just have s*x…we talk…we are friends, I tell him about everything and he has been such a listening and supportive backbone for me… and that is what I miss from my husband.
Three weeks ago,my husband came to me and confessed his affair with his Lawyer. He asked for my forgiveness. He said he felt he needed her cos his business was failing. The law suit took a big toll on him and he wanted her to help him…but she wanted more…he had to play ball.
But here I am….I also cheated but I am afraid of telling him. My husband would never forgive me. Or will he? My ex is still my best friend and confidant. I told him my husband is back. He thinks I should not tell him about us. But if I don’t…I may never be able to break up with him ….that is what my ex wants…he wants me back to him I know.
What is more, intimacy with my husband is not like with my ex. My husband may be getting old or he had a medical problem cos he cannot satisfy me. I still feel empty even when I am with him. It makes it difficult to break up my affair…
My husband cheated on me,abandoned me and pushed me into the arms of another man who gave me comfort…he is sorry now but I have gone far deep into my affair and I do not know how to come out of it. I need your help and advise. Keep me anonymous please.
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