My Fiancee Has Been Having Intercourse With Men But She Claims She Was Abused
Hide my name please Where do I even start from? My fiancee and I have been together for two almost going to three years now. We met in church. A very quiet and shy girl. We were just friends for a while before we got romantically linked.
We got engaged last year and our plan was to get married in April this year before the corona virus lock down changed that. So, the plan now is in November or December this year. All these while that I bee dating and courting her, it has been a relationship of no s*x cos of our faith as Christians.
However, my fiancee just told me heaviest secret I have ever heard. So my girl used to live with her Cousin before she moved out to her own place like 5 years ago. She was very close to her cousin and practically helped her raise her children. So, they are very close.
Especially the cousin’s husband. He sends her money and buys her expensive gifts which even the cousin is aware of. Anytime the cousin travels,my girls goes to stay with the children until she returns. She would return with gifts or cash from the husband.
I was introduced to them and I took them as family too. Last month,my girl told me she wanted to tell me something. That she is tired of hiding this secret and that she needs me to forgive her what she is about to tell me.
I told her,I will forgive her no matter what it is. She said that her cousin’s husband has been sleeping with her since she moved in with them when she was 17 years old. And that anytime she goes to their house,he sleeps with her and gives her money and gifts.
The man threatened to disgrace her if she ever mentioned it to anyone. So she felt she was a disgrace for sleeping with a married man….her cousin’s husband and to avoid disgrace…she continued doing it anytime she wanted.
To make matters worse…one day, one of the cousin’s husband friend walked in on them having s*x. And he started blackmailing her,saying that he would report her to her cousin if she did not sleep with him also. He threatened to put her s*x pictures with her cousin’s husband on the internet to destroy her.
So that is how she started sleeping with the man and his friend. And she has been doing this for years. That she got tired and is feeling guilty…that she decided to darn the consequences of revealing what is happening and whatever will happen if she stops sleeping with these men.
That the men have promised to ruin her. That she told herself that she better tells me the truth before we got married. Ma, I was shook beyond words. This is the same shy and innocent looking girl I have been dating without s*x for almost three years. Not knowing she has been having carnal knowledge of two grown married men?
How do I even begin to forgive this? I know she is not a virgin when we met but this is too much…Yes…she has been begging me to forgive her…that she was scared to tell anyone cos the men constantly threatened her…that is why she is so shy and reserved. Ma, I wont lie…I am struggling…I do not even know what to do now…
I told her we have to tell her cousin…she said no…that would destroy her cousin’s marriage and maybe their family…why should she be caring about that? Is she not even trying to clear her name? Why is she so scared of the men? Now,am aware..she has no need to be scared even though I find it hard that she was scared all these years…
Yes…I find it hard…we been dating for three years…why didn’t she tell me earlier? Maybe she enjoyed the gifts too much? Maybe she is was enjoying it….haba..somebody help me understand…scared of what? She is a 26 year old woman now…how can she still be scared?
The only people we have told are our pastor and he is asking me to keep this a secret and try and work things with my girl…help her heal. That my girl took courage to come and tell me. That I should remember how Timi Dakolo’s wife did not have the courage to come out to talk about her abuse until several years and because of the support Timi gave her.
But Timi’s wife was allegedly raped…my girl was not raped…she was involved in consensual intercourse….even though she said she was threatened…I do not really truly believe everything she said to me cos if she can pretend with me for all these years we have been together…then she is not as innocent as she wants me to believe.
Please ma…I am having serious cold feet with going ahead with marrying her…especially with the fact that she does not want to tell her cousin the truth…do you believe what she is saying…did she not play a part in this whole situation? Maybe she even tried to seduce these men…why else is she trying to protect these men….please what do I do…advise me…
Anonymous Email Post
Share this Story: