HomeAdviceLeft Us. After Eight Years, He's Back And Had Nothing

Left Us. After Eight Years, He’s Back And Had Nothing


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Eight years ago, with tears in my eye, I held his hand, begged him to stay with me that we will struggle together and succeed, but he refused. He walked away living me pregnant. Now, he’s back without anything.

We were friends from the University, I graduated before him because I was studying a 4years course. The very first time, we tried to take our relationship serious was after my graduation. We had s.e.-x for the very first time and I became pregnant.
The truth is, the guy have always been good to me throughout my stays in school.
I remembered that day he sacrificed his school fees for mine so I could be able to do my final clearance. But when I became pregnant, he walked away after convincing me to keep our baby.

I went through everything all by myself.
Since last year, he has been apologizing on phone, so last week, I asked him to come. He traveled down to my place. Without being afraid of anyone harming him from my family, he believed in me and came. He’s around in my family house, staying in my brother’s room for the past 3days.
He has opened up everything to me, my family members and have apologized.

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now, I’m so confused with my life.

He couldn’t graduate, he had problem in school after I left and all this years, he has been struggling, but now he wants to take responsibility and be with us, but he had nothing. No certificate, except diploma which he later did from another school, no job, no place of his own to stay. He had nothing. He wants us to get married and have a family.

I feel I’m about to add more burden to my already stressed life.
The only positive thing here now, is the excitement my son is having seeing his father and the relationship they’re building.

A part of me wants to see this guy have a great life and have direction and not see him live like this, even if I don’t settle down with him. because when I meant him, he was kind, a good person, he had dreams, vision and good plans.
But living us alone all this years, with all his explanations, I’m not contented.

Another part of me is confused, afraid and I feel i should push him away and let him go back to his life and keep moving with my son because I don’t have the strength to shoulder all these.

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Please matured mind in the house, what do you have to say? This is my life and it’s getting more confused.
What would you advise? What should I do?
I don’t want to make more mistakes.

Sorry for my lengthy write-up

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Sources: Nairaland



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  1. Let him get his life back before anything. He needs to prove that he is ready to man and that is by actions not word of mouth. Its one thing to be involved in his son’s life and an entirely different thing to be married to you. Don’t confuse things.
    First he should get a job and start supporting your son’s welfare. Then he should get an apartment and move out of your family house. Don’t rush into anything because of pity, don’t get your hopes up and also don’t commit into any relationship with him. Don’t be pressured into marriage when you are not sure. Live your life independent of him and build your life.
    Finally and most importantly, pray and let God guide you.

  2. Dont rush anything so that you wont regret later …u already have regrets so dont add to it, it not compulsory you marry him dont make that mistake!! Make sure he is stable and he is comfortable before you allow ur son stay with him and look for a better future for your self I do not think you guyz can make it work becuse you seem to have eye for something better

  3. All he needs to get back into your life is to prove he can be responsible father and support to you.

    Do not let your feelings blind you a second time.

    Let him get a job…no matter how menial…let him build himself and support you and your child …show he will stick around and help you

    Then only should you consider having anything romantic with you.

    Be smart…do not fall for sweet talk or pity party,

    You have done well without him these years…you can still do without him…

    If he wants you…let him prove himself!


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