My Girlfriend Has Given Me A Marriage Ultimatum-Please Advise
I met Ene (not real name) 2 years ago at a popular bank. She was a Customer Service officer. My ATM card had been swallowed by the ATM machine and I was having a had time getting it from the other Customer Service officer. And then Ene came with the brightest smile I have ever seen and se says: how may I help you sir?
Long story short,she assisted me very kindly but I could not loose the opportunity of shooting my shot. I complimented her and told her I would love to be her friend. And we became friends and even though I was just an undergraduate, Ene treated me like the greatest man on earth.
It was also easy to love her. She is the most beautiful woman in the room any where she is. She is kind and laughs alot. She makes me laugh and my heart light anytime I see her. I mean, it was the coolest thing for an undergrad to be dating a hot banker. My friends envied me. I wont lie…I feel blessed.
Now, its been two years of dating. I am in my final year but Covid and ASSU strike has refused to allow me graduate. Ene is already feeling that its time to take our relationship to the next level: marriage. I agree with her but I wish to get married after my graduation and I have a job and can take care of my wife and family.
Ene does not mind but her family and my family are not in support. Her father wants me to be settled and that is my wish too. I know Ene has been graciously nice with supporting our relationship financially but that is not my vision for her to continue to bear the financial responsibilities if we get married.
My family feels that she might control me when we get married since she will be the one bringing in money for now. At least, I will graduate and do my youth service so I told her to give me like one or maximum two years but she says she cannot be in a relationship for more than 2 years without leading to marriage.
I have given her my word that she is the only one for me but Ene is insisting that we either get married or the relationship is over. I really want to make her happy and get married and make her happy but I fear that things may change between us if we do…I have seen what money does to relationships.
Ene says time is not on her side. Yes,she is 2 years older than me. She is 28 and I am 26. I feel she is ok. I asked her lets get engaged and be engaged for the next two years nut she says no. That its either marriage before the end of this year or latest first quarter of next year.
My mom feels she will always use the age thing as an excuse in the marriage. And yes…sometimes she uses that excuse. That all her age mates are getting married…I feel of I had a job and my money…that may not be…that is why I want her to wait for me to get a job and my own money.
This matter is causing quarrels between me and Ene. But she has said I do not love her enough…for wanting her to wait and get married in 2 years when she will be 30 years old. I know guys might be coming for Ene cos she’s hot and she works in the bank where she meets alot of guys…this really worries me that if I do not get married…she will actually break up with me and move on to some other guy who is ready.
What should I do? Should I get married now to please her? Against our parents wish as well? Will I be making a mistake if I cant convince her to wait for me? Or if we indeed get married….will she change and become controlling or make me feel less of a man cos she is the one making the money? Especially since the age thing is there too…
I need your advise…thank you.
Photo Credit:Thecouples centre
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