Home Advice We Had Several Years Of Affair Because I Thought It Was Love...

We Had Several Years Of Affair Because I Thought It Was Love But I Am Afraid For My Life

We Had Several Years Of Affair Because I Thought It Was Love But I Am Afraid For My Life

Hello ma,

Please advise me. I know what I have done is wrong but I was only 19 at the time. So my Auntie and her husband used to help us when my dad died. Things were pretty difficult for us. Relatives tried to help us but Auntie was the most consistent.

It got to a point that I moved in with them and was helping them as a maid while they paid my school fees. Auntie’s husband started giving me more than Auntie was giving me and when he started asking me for s*x, I thought it was the right way to pay him for his kindness to me.

Uncle was sleeping with me for almost one year and I got pregnant several times and had abortions for him. Eventually I got into school and I was able to be away from him. Or so I thought but he came to me in school, and was still having s*x with me. He made sure I got whatever I needed so my conscience was sealed.

I told myself that I was doing it because I had no choice. He also made me believe he was in love with me but he could not leave mu Auntie because she suffered with him when he had nothing. In my 200 level, I had another abortion but it did not come out fully. The pregnancy was already 5 months before I noticed that it did not flush out completely.

The doctor advised against any further action. I had to have the baby. My uncle refused. He threatened to kill me because he did not want me to have a child that his wife will find out about. I had to run away to my maternal grand mother. I stayed in the village until I had my baby. No one knew who the father of the child is. They all thought I got pregnant for some random boy in school.

I had my baby and farmed with my grandma for 3 years. I left my son with my grandmother and went back to complete my schooling.  I returned back without telling my Uncle but he found out I was back and called me.

He asked me what I did with the baby and I told him I gave the baby to a motherless baby home. He said he did not believe me but he wants to be sure. That I should come and swear. He would take me to native doctor. I said no. Since then, he has been disturbing me. He will send me money and beg me to come and swear. I refused.

So he started trying to bribe me to come back to him. Initially, I refused but he now started confessing love for me and how he misses me. He will come to my hostel and be begging. My friends who don’t know him will be asking me to give him a chance. I eventually allowed him back.

We made love but I was scared of him still. He invited me to a hotel and after making love to me, he gave me a drink. I thought it was juice and I drank it. When I got home, I started feeling sick. I almost died that day. I was rushed to the hospital and was treated for food poisoning. My uncle drugged me and almost killed me.

I now knew that he will stop at nothing to eliminate me. I went to my mother and told her everything. My mother started to cry and wish my father was alive. If my father was alive, I would not be in this situation. If you see me now, I am so skinny cos I was very sick for almost 2 months. It was God that saved me that I did not die. And all these while, he never even came to see me. He only sent N10k.

After telling my mother everything, my mother said I should not go back t school and that I should start working with her in her provision selling business, save money and relocate to another town. But for how long will I continue to hide from this man. If I had money, I would have gone to the police to report him but since he is a rich man, the police will favor him more than me.

Right now, I am afraid for my life. My son’s life too. I feel the only way out is to tell my Auntie about everything. I know she will hate me for it but that may be the only way that my Uncle will let me and my son live. At least when I tell my Auntie he wants to kill me, maybe she will stop him…I don’t know…Please help me.

Advise me. I really do not know what else to do. I have no one to help me. My Uncle is a rich man…I have nothing. My mother has nothing. How do I get him to spare our lives? My child does not need to suffer for my sins. I did not plan for him to be born…God made it so cos I aborted him but he still came.

How do I keep him safe. How do I keep myself safe? I do not even want him to know about my son but I know he does not believe me and its a matter of time before he finds me and my son and tries again to eliminate us.

Please advise me.


Anonymous Email Post


Photo Credit:Theactivatedpeople



Share this:

A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello,

    Why do I feel you do not feel any remorse for the part you have played in this mess?

    You are only worried that the uncle will harm you for having his baby after years of cheating on an Aunt who took you in and supported you when your dad passed…

    Look…first things first…acknowledge your own part and ask God for forgiveness.

    And yes….please go to the police and make a report on threat to life.

    Also send a letter to your Auntie and tell her everything and ask for her forgiveness. Do not let her see you again…this hurt is too deep.

    Go to another town or city with your child and leave that family alone.

    This is disheartening….you told yourself it was ok to hurt someone else, who was kind to you…just so you could enjoy pleasure and benefits to make it in life?

    Your upbringing is wrong…you need new morals and you need a complete life change.

    I pray you make better decisions as you grow older…there is no excuse for this…many other young girls resisted the temptation and still ended up doing well after a long and hard life.

    There is always a choice for everyone…you made an easier choice even though it was the wrong choice for you and everyone involved.

    Wish you all the best.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.