Will My Addiction Will Soon Destroy My Marriage-Please Advise
I need your help. I wish you do not post this but I know you like to post so other people in similar situation can learn. So,if you do, kindly hide my name. I think I have a serious problem. Initially, I thought I was just having fun but right now, I need professional advise.
Ma, I have come to a conclusion that I may be an addict. Yes, am addicted…: a s*x addict!!!. I know this is a very big taboo but I know that if I do not address this,it will destroy my life and my marriage.
I am very active s*xually. Even before my marriage. I was fully active with my ex and even though he was abusive to me, I always loved having s*x with him. He was also s*xually abusive. But in my ignorance, I thought it was BDSM. That is aggressive s*x.
Even while we broke up,I would still call him to hook up with him. I could not control myself. I got transferred on my job so I relocated to PH (not real location) where I met an incredible guy. He is fun and makes me so happy. We eventually got married. And today, I been married for 4 years and I have a daughter of 2 years.
My husband is also s*xually active but I still want more than he can give me. I find myself always horny to the extent that I masturbate and watch p*rn most times. Just to make up. And that is how I have been doing since I been married.
Until 3 months ago, my abusive ex called me and told me he was in PH, that he heard I was in PH. He wanted us to hook up and I told him I was married now. He then said I can always change my mind, he left his address. And ma…I am embarrassed to say this but I fought the urge so much but I was getting weaker and I went to see my ex.
Since then, my ex has been coming to PH every two weeks and we hook up and we have mad s*x. I feel terrible every time I do this but I cant wait to see him in another two weeks. Please what else do you call this if not addiction? I cannot tell anyone cos I know how people will perceive me.
As I write this, all I can think of is how long before my next appointment with my ex. I love how aggressive he takes me. I love how rough it is with him. Despite this, I still have it with my husband every day at least. Except when my husband says he is tired, so we o it the next day.
I lie to my hubby that I am going to market or going to the gym whenever my ex is around. I am beginning to shake when I am even lying to him. I don’t know whether he has began to notice. This is completely overpowered me.
I tell myself that men cheat in marriage so woman can cheat too…just to make me feel less ashamed but My husband cannot know otherwise my marriage is over. This is a cry for help. I know your advise or referral to a professional psychologist to help me is what I need before its too late.
Thank you ma.
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