I Am Trying To Invest In Our Children’s Future But My Husband Wants To Spend On The Dead
Good day house,
I need your advise. I am a married woman,38 years old, with four children. My husband and I work and contribute to the running of the house together. But he lost his job last year and since then, he has not been able to secure a good job. So, he runs taxi services which hardly brings in anything tangible.
Since then, the entire running of the home rests on me. Whatever he makes …he uses to buy fuel in his car to run as taxi. It has not been easy. I earn 70kas a nurse and I work long hours. I had to withdraw my children from their private school to public school.
My children don’t like public school. They have been getting bullied and they dont like the environment. So, I decided to start saving 20k from my salary every month. I have to deny us so many things so I can save that 20k. Sometimes we have to eat once a day.
The mistake I made was I told my husband about the money I was saving. That is because I don’t hide anything from him since we got married 11 years ago. Since, I started saving, I have saved up to N240k. This money I have been hoping will be enough to return my children to a less expensive private school in January next year.
No, the problem is that my husband has come to ask me to borrow him the money cos his step mother passed away and the burial is this December. He has been tasked to bring 250k for the burial plans. His mother passed when they were small …so his step mother raised them.
I told my husband that I will not give him my children’s school fees to go and spend in a burial. I feel like its jeopardizing my children’s’ future with someone’s past. I know how much his step mother meant to him but they should understand that things are hard for us…
I will not release that money…I worked very hard for it and I feel its a waste of my hard work. My children need this money much more than the dead. My husband did not take my decision lightly and has called me selfish. That I want to embarrass him in front of his family. That he will be mocked for not being able to pay his last respects to his step mother.
And now, he is not talking to me. This has really affected our relationship. This is emotional blackmail. I do not think it fair. Or am I being selfish? Should I give him the money? What do I do about my children’s’ school fees? It took me almost almost 9 months salary savings and leave allowance to get that amount saved.
My husband is even telling friends that I have changed cos I am the one running the home…that I have no respect for him anymore….and that I am hoarding money and embarrassing him…that is why he regrets not having a job cos now…am being wicked to him…Please what should I do?
I am tired of all these…