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I Am Trying To Invest In Our Children’s Future But My Husband Wants To Spend On The Dead


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I Am Trying To Invest In Our Children’s Future But My Husband Wants To Spend On The Dead

Good day house,

I need your advise. I am a married woman,38 years old, with four children. My husband and I work and contribute to the running of the house together. But he lost his job last year and since then, he has not been able to secure a good job. So, he runs taxi services which hardly brings in anything tangible.

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Since then, the entire running of the home rests on me. Whatever he makes …he uses to buy fuel in his car to run as taxi. It has not been easy. I earn 70kas a nurse and I work long hours. I had to withdraw my children from their private school to public school.

My children don’t like public school. They have been getting bullied and they dont like the environment. So, I decided to start saving 20k from my salary every month. I have to deny us so many things so I can save that 20k. Sometimes we have to eat once a day.

The mistake I made was I told my husband about the money I was saving. That is because I don’t hide anything from him since we got married 11 years ago. Since, I started saving, I have saved up to N240k. This money I have been hoping will be enough to return my children to a less expensive private school in January next year.

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No, the problem is that my husband has come to ask me to borrow him the money cos his step mother passed away and the burial is this December. He has been tasked to bring 250k for the burial plans. His mother passed when they were small …so his step mother raised them.

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I told my husband that I will not give him my children’s school fees to go and spend in a burial. I feel like its jeopardizing my children’s’ future with someone’s past. I know how much his step mother meant to him but they should understand that things are hard for us…

I will not release that money…I worked very hard for it and I feel its a waste of my hard work. My children need this money much more than the dead. My husband did not take my decision lightly and has called me selfish. That I want to embarrass him in front of his family. That he will be mocked for not being able to pay his last respects to his step mother.

And now, he is not talking to me. This has really affected our relationship. This is emotional blackmail. I do not think it fair. Or am I being selfish? Should I give him the money? What do I do about my children’s’ school fees? It took me almost almost 9 months salary savings and leave allowance to get that amount saved.

My husband is even telling friends that I have changed cos I am the one running the home…that I have no respect for him anymore….and that I am hoarding money and embarrassing him…that is why he regrets not having a job cos now…am being wicked to him…Please what should I do?

I am tired of all these…

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Photo Credit:Bustle

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I Am Trying To Invest In Our Children's Future But My Husband Wants To Spend On The Dead
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Pls don’t give him. I mean DONT GIVE HIM. He won’t pay back and you will regret giving him. I think he is immature not talking to you. Try less private schools. I wish you the best Sister. I am Akin.

  2. Aaaaah please don’t give him ooooo,they can postpone the burial for now since there’s no money on ground,my sister ur children’s education is very very important ooooo

  3. Don’t ever try it,let him borrow from someone else biko,what rubbish?Don’t even mind whatever he is saying to his family or friends .Let him go out and borrow elsewhere,haba. Concentrate on your wonderful and precious children

  4. Don’t give him a dime! If he likes he should stop talking to you, do not still give him one naira!
    Please my sister focus on your children and leave the dead to bury the dead.
    I don talk my own

  5. I would advise you not to borrow him the money unless you want to waste your effort like you have said Because he is not gonna return it and he is self centered to wanna lend the money meant for his children convinience for ordinary party.Dont worry he will get over it.

  6. Let him go and borrow from elsewhere. Disregard his actions. Your children are more important than the dead stepmom. Ignore all he says to his friends and remain focused. All the best.

  7. I will advice you don’t act based on the advice most of these people are giving you. Try to study your man and look for a way to percify him. A man’s responsibility is not Limited to his home alone. He trusted you, that is why he came to you. Sit him down and beg him, to see the importance of the future of your children. If he then insist, borrow him half and hustle to raise more for your children. When the burial is over, he will come back to his senses and he will regret what he did. Remember, the money does not worth your marriage. Shalom.

  8. Pls do not give him the money ,where is he going to get the money to pay back. The family are wicked set of people but they know he has no job where do they want him to get that amount. Your husband should be man enough to tell his family that he has no money or borrow from his friends.The children’s future is More important than burial o.

  9. Don’t give him a dime, not even half abeg…you can’t deny ❎yourself of somethings to raise money for your children’s school fees only for your husband to come and borrow it…

    You said it yourself that the money he makes from his taxi service is what he uses to fuel the car the next day so where do you expect him to source for the return…
    Your children are your priority…
    Though your marriage should mean a lot to you but not in this manner…

  10. I quess he wants to test your action to know what you will do towards that situation, since you’re keeping common pulse before he lost his job give him half of the money and hustle for the test. May God crown your efforts. Your home is your home


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