Divorce Is Not An Option But Cheating Is Beyond My Control
I need your advise. My wife and I are having issues for over six months now. We live in the same house but she does not sleep with me or barely speak with me. And that is because she found out my indiscretion in March.
I been married for four years now. We were both virgins when we married. So, she is my first and I hers. Along the line, I got tired of having s*x the missionary style and wanted to try new things to spice up our life.
That was when my wife shocked me and refused to try other s*x styles like doggy or oral s*x. I was very disappointed but I love my wife, so I did not bother her. She say doggy style is painful for her and oral is against her beliefs.
But ma, as a man, I desire these kind of exciting ways of making love and I watch films and I really get aroused seeing other people do it. One day, I gave two ladies from my office lift after work. I noticed one of them was trying to be close to me…I used to give both of them lift.
Then, one day, only one of them waited for me cos she could not find transport. We closed late that day and on the way, we got talking and it was getting interesting. I asked her if she was in a relationship, she said she just broke up with her guy. She wanted to know why I asked her and I said nothing just curios.
However, she went further to say that she likes me and she wish I was not married. I smiled but then she also went ahead and said miss her s*x with her boyfriend. All these, I know she was telling me because she wanted me. I told her lets hangout. She agreed. I took her to a hotel, paid the bill.
That night …it was wild. All the imaginations I had wanted with my wife..I had with her…she was wild and gave me all the styles. For the first time,I felt I made a mistake marrying my wife.
That was how my affair with this lady started…until my wife noticed I was not bothering her again for s*x. She checked my phone and saw messages between me and this lady. She went crazy but I told her she pushed me to it. That her refusing doggy or oral pushed me to cheat.
This almost broke us up but after much counselling, we agreed to work things out. My wife agreed for the doggy but not oral. She maintained its still a sin. Even the doggy,she just make me loose interest cos she will be behaving uncomfortable…not enjoying it.
I decided not to bother her again. When she noticed I am quiet… she will start making trouble…saying I am selfish and all I want is s*x and I don’t care what she feels. I don’t know what is so strange about a man wanting doggy or oral from his wife.
This is one reason a lot of men cheat on their wives. Side chicks are ready to give what the married ones don’t want to give. I feel so bad but since the situation is not getting better, I been thinking maybe its time to end the marriage.
There’s nothing I have not tried. I gave her books to reach, videos to watch…even paid for an online coaching class for her to watch but she still maintain her stance. I really do not want to divorce…I cannot bear to see my children go through this but if you were in my shoes, what will you do?
This has drawn me and that lady close. I am getting tempted to continue the affair with her…I really do not wish to…but my wife is being inconsiderate and I really feel she does not care about me as much as I care about her.
Please advise me…its almost end of year…I cannot continue in a marriage where we hardly speak to each other or enjoy s*x with each other…if she cannot compromise…I will continue cheating cos divorce is not an option…
What else can I do?