My Baby Daddy Is Threatening To Take My Children & Destroy Me -Pls Advise
Good evening ma,
Pls post for me…I need advice, sorry I had to post it like this.My name joy (not real name) when I was 18 I was in a relationship wit the father of my kids, now I am 29. We we were in love, he was de one that dis-vigined me, due to dat process I got pregnant.
So he said I should leave it, people advice I should leave it, so I did…my dad was very mad at me but he had no choice, so I had my first son when at the age of 21, so my dad ask me to go and live with him.
I refused because he had not paid my bride price but he insisted dat I should go, so I went. Then, he was still leaving under his mother and sister but I had to live there with him, so I stayed for 2 years.
His sister was not friendly at all, anything his sister tell him, that is what he will do. So I got fed up and decided to leave. Then, my son is 2 years old, so I told him that, I am going to live with my sister in Benin.
Firstly he refused, so I talked to him and he allowed me to go, I put my son in school, if I ask him for money he will refuse that he cannot give me money unless I come back, so I give him condition that he should go and rent his own apartment and he did.
So I started leaving with him again, my son now turned 5 years and I got pregnant…though that was not my plan, I tried aborting it all to no avail, so I had to leave the baby, that was when I had my second baby girl, everything turned worse.
His family started coming to the house and we are living in a single room, the most painful part is dat he was the last of 6 boys and a girl, if they want to hold family meeting is that our house, no single privacy at all. It was so uncomfortable for I and my kids but I still keep calm.
So he decide to travel to Ghana, which is 3 years back. I said no problem, so he left me with only 50k, no store, nothing, I am a hair stylist, he refuse to open store for me due to his own selfish reasons, just him and his family, but he always provide food for us. As if dat was de only thing I want.
So he left, my baby was 11 months then. So I manage the money and it got finished, I was feeding hand to mouth, I got tired, school fees, feeding was on me and my mom was in Benin. At my young age I was struggling with life.
So I called him and said let me take the baby to my mom. Then, she was 1year and some months so I can work and take care of the boy, he refused and said if I must take the baby to my mum then I should go with her, so I pack few of my things and my kids things, then we left.
I took the baby to my mum then the boy with me to live with my sister in the same Benin but different place. We start going along till one day, his family started talking to him that I was doing prostitution in Benin. That if he comes back he should not take me back. He started believing them and picking quarrels with me.
He won’t call, nothing, not that he was sending money o, I was the one paying my kids fees and taking care of all their needs, because I was working in a bar, when he came last year, no house for him to stay, nothing, his family took all his property. So he was now living with his sister up till this moment.
This December will make him a year in Nigeria, I was still the one footing all the bills. All he does is smoke and flirt with girls though we are not together anymore. I have moved on with my life. He said if I am tired I should bring the kids to him, unless he won’t give me money for anything.
Even his family are not talking to me, I was faithful for a year, I did not cheat on him, still he did not appreciate it, he will go to my dad place and insult him simply because we don’t have boy (I mean, I don’t have a brother). I cannot give my kids to him because he cannot take care of them.
I don’t want them to suffer like I did in the hands of my step mom, I am now in a serious relationship and he his threaten to destroy my life if I don’t brings is kids to him. They are still small, the boy is 8 and the girl is ,3. I am scared of loosing my kids…please ma, I need your advice, what should I do?
Take the kids to him or forget about him and struggle with their fees and their needs…? I am confused, this was never my plan in life. Sorry for the long post…I need help.
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