HomeAdviceI Have Feelings For Him: Should I Make The First Move?-Please Advise.

I Have Feelings For Him: Should I Make The First Move?-Please Advise.


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I Have Feelings For Him: Should I Make The First Move?-Please Advise.

Good morning sir/ma,

Nice job you guys are doing, I am posting for a friend, she is a new member. It goes thus:

I am 27yrs old lady, staying in Enugu (not real location), I always find it difficult loving any guy that approach me for relationship. Now there’s this guy I have been secretly loving for almost 2yrs now…
Though I have able to keep my feelings under control, since we were casual friends, he have been inviting me to his place but I normally decline with one reason or the other. But around June this year, I visited him cos of something he borrowed from me and I need to get back.
From the way he behaved maturely that day, I see myself loving him more.. From then onwards I visits him occasionally though on his invitation and it progressed to once a week etc. When I couldn’t hold the feeling again, I told him that I love him and to my surprise, he said he have actually loved me since 2yrs now but he doesn’t know how to say it.
Though since then, I have seen a bit of improvement in his show of affection. But he has not asked me out for any official relationship. But am worried what it might be because I voiced out my feelings first.
My question is this.. If a lady voiced out her feelings for a guy first, will it change the way the guy sees her? Does it have any effect on the relationship? Does it degrade the lady by doing that?
 Am thinking maybe I should forget about him and move on or if I should ask him, what his intentions are towards me,  will it degrade me in his eyes?
Please, I need your candid advice.
Anonymous Lively Stones Whatsapp Member
Photo Credit:romancemeetslife
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I Have Feelings For Him: Should I Make The First Move?-Please Advise.
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. There is nothing wrong in you telling him about your feelings and that doesn’t demean you. You deserve to be treated like royalty irrespective.
    I think this guy is not a spontaneous person, maybe he is taking his time to really define what he wants. Give him time, maybe 3 months then ask him what his plans are. Don’t live in uncertainty or assumptions define what you guys have.
    Also open your heart to other suitors. You never can tell

  2. Hello Sister, there is nothing wrong in a lady telling a guy she loves him but the thing is some guys are so immature and also greedy, the see it a way to pass time, some will even use it to make money off you. But if you meet a guy who is honest and good its a blessing. But also the guy said he loves but he never said he wants to date you. He may just love you but not want to date you, like fisayo said, ask him. Love you sister. I am Akin

  3. Hello dear,

    Just keep an open mind…

    watch his actions for a while…if he does not show that he is interested…or does not speak about it…she should block him.

    Maybe he is testing waters…meaning trying to see if he can really be with her…so let her watch and be very careful.

    I am old fashioned….if a guy likes you…he will come after you….

    However pray about it…if you feel led to tell him you have feelings for him…no worries…do that but note that he can actually go south and if it does…no hard feelings…learn the lesson and move right on.



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