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My Selfishness Made Me Sell Out & I Might Loose My Son Forever-Pls Advise


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My Selfishness Made Me Sell Out & I Might Loose My Son Forever-Pls Advise


I need your help. I was selfish in the past. And now, I may have to live with regret for the rest of my life. Three years ago, my ex: Tina got married but was very unhappy in her marriage cos they were having infertility…low sperm count matter. Unfortunately, she married a man who is shallow and allowed their fertility issue become a problem.

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The man was drinking and flirting and Tina came to me for support. We didn’t plan to but we ended up having s*x most of the time. She just wanted a shoulder to cry on. She never wanted her marriage to end. Well, it was only about 3 or 4 times but she ended up breaking it off after like 2 months and a half.

Tina said she wanted to try and work things out with her husband and I was fine with that.At the time, I too was single. Well, exactly a year after, Tina had a baby boy. She posted pictures on ig. Very cute baby and family pictures. I was surprised cos I knew they had infertility issues. But I kept mute.

However, as Tina posted regular pictures of her son on social media…I could not help but notice the resemblance. I had to reach out to her. I asked her and she initially denied the baby was mine but after threatening to make trouble…she begged me to let it go. She confirmed the baby is mine but will do anything for me to keep quiet.

I scratched my head and asked for 5M to keep quiet. I don’t know why I did that. I regret that today. Tina sent me 3.5M and promised to pay the balance over a year. She completed the amount but now,I feel so terrible. Like I was very wrong to collect the money.

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Tina makes it hard cos she updates this boy’s pictures and all I want to be is his dad. I sold that right for a sleazy 5M. I feel absolutely terrible. I am getting married soon. Yet…I cannot tell anyone that I have a son…my son will never know me. How do I make this right?

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I do not want to hurt Tina or her marriage. But seeing your own seed pulls a kind of emotion and desire I never felt before. Sometimes…all I want to do is just hold him in my hands…I never wanted to be his dad so bad like I do now…Daily….I am dying with guilt. What do I do? How do I make things right….I think my son deserves to know his true father…maybe not now? Maybe when he is old enough to understand?

My fear is…my son may hate me if I dont make an effort to make things right now…and I think Tina’s husband deserves to know the truth. I do not plan to take the boy away…no, they can raise him as their own…I just want him to know his real father and give me a chance to love him as a father should love his son.

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Also…my family and bride to be deserve to know…that might hurt them but keeping it a secret will hurt far more….what should I do…I need your advice….(anyone can feel free to insult me…I know I was a d*ck head…but I just want to do the right thing before its too late). Please advise me.




Photo Credit:Ebony

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My Selfishness Made Me Sell Out & I Might Loose My Son Forever-Pls Advise
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello Bro, no matter how long you date someone as long as that person is not your wife, you MUST not have sex with them, you slept with a man’s wife, you get mind oooo. To be honest with you, tell her husband, i suggest you call him you have a serious issue to discuss with him, then both of you should meet, trust me it better to deal with the trouble today than later. Call him on phone that you have an issue to tell him, that you will call him later, then call him and explain, that you are really sorry that is why you called to apologize to him, that can you meet him in a public place tell him not to tell his wife ooo, but he should keep it a secret first. I’m really disappointed with you Bro for sleeping with a married woman…come on na. Trust me he will listen to you if you do as i said. Return the money to him not his wife, I mean him and not his wife even though he isnt the one that sent it to you. My Man, it’s better to see trouble today and get your son back than dealing with it later, pls deal with it today Bro. I love you Bro. I am Akin.

  2. You lost that right when you collected that 5million.
    Are you planning to return that money when you knew she squeezed her soul and body to raise that money (that’s bad)..

    Please don’t disturb her peace of mind. Though sooner or later the truth will prevail…What I am saying is that you have no right to claim that child until the mother wants the boy to know you… How do you think your child would feel when he’s told you collected money to keep quiet..

  3. Are you asking if it’s ok to cause a trouble after accepting 5m?
    This is already a lost battle coz the son you so cherish will turn around to hate you so much for tormenting his mom and ruining their home.
    The feelings you have for your son will diminish as soon as you start having kids with your supposed fiancée.

  4. Hi,

    First of all repent for adultery.

    2nd before you start any conversation find the 5M and return to your ex only then can you engage in a conversation with your ex, do not go directly to her husband and spoil things for them, do not threaten, do not force anything. Just ask nicely for the opportunity to see your Son sometimes and for her husband and your Son to know, if she says no, do not threaten, give it time , for now block her on social media do not keep seeing pictures, focus on the many children you will have with your fiancé when you get married and send gifts from time to time to your Son don’t label from Dad yet.

    You can agree to see him sometimes.

    It will be rather selfish for you to contact her husband directly or try to force anything.

    With time, she will come around and let her Son know who his father is perhaps much further up the line.

    You should mention to your fiancée that you have a Son but restrict her from contacting any of them or forcing you to confront them. She deserves to know before being married but you don’t need to show her the mother so she does not stalk her etc.

    Remember, start with returning the 5M first. If you don’t have it, wait till you do.

    Let your intentions remain pure.

    All the best

  5. Just look at yourself. You are there asking for advice which looks like medicine after death. You should have asked for this advice before sleeping with another man’s wife. You get mind O and to think you want to destroy her and her home. Nor be people de donate sperm for fertility hospital so. Do they know who eventually carries the sperm and baby. Bros park well o… don’t hurt that woman O and to think you are about to get married also looking forward to a peaceful home? I will advise you reach out to her and discuss these feelings with her but make sure the 5million is with you and cancel that your planned marriage cos if her own fail U kuku marry her if she go gree cos I know Kobo nor gum U. Yeye de smell! Now you want the same child U sold for 5million Abi? Isookay o

  6. U hv the mind to sleep with someone’s wife
    U lost the right to that child the very first moment you took that money
    U re being selfish

    Well thrash it out

  7. Some things are better left a secret than spilling them.
    If you open up now, you will lose your fiancée, Tina’s marriage will crash, you won’t even get your son because you sold him without being compelled to do so.

    Anyway, your lawyer can argue that you were tricked into impregnating Tina. You should have known that the period she came back crying to you, knowing their infertility problems, that she was on a mission to get you to impregnate her. She perfected her plans and it worked out well. She cut you off immediately she was sure that she was already carrying your seed.

    If you still want to spill the secret, first arrange the 5 million Naira and keep. Then, get ready to slug it out in court because the backlash will surely overwhelm you.

  8. Hello Sir,

    I feel extremely sorry for you cos you sound like a very selfish man

    You didnt think of your ex marriage when you slept with her….you did not care what it would do to her marriage….

    You did not care when you found she had a son for you…you took N5M…you did not think of a human being you made with her

    You did not think that if you reveal yourself now as the father…you will destroy many lives…your ex,her husband and your son’s….

    Why so selfish???…please ask God for forgiveness…return the N5M…and go very far away from this family.

    Its on the woman if she wants to ever tell her husband the truth

    But when the boy is older…send him a letter and ask for forgiveness.

    Either way…life will never be the same for this boy born under such secrecy….

    And that is not fair…just because two persons refused to deny themselves the lust of s*x and selfishness….

    Its well…may God heal this boy when he eventually finds out…

    Oh God…to much selfishness in this story.

    Please try to think of what is best for the boy and others before yourself….

    And please live responsibly moving forward.



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