How Corona Pandemic & My Family Made Me Loose My Fiancée -Pls Advise
I need advise. My girlfriend of two years just broke up with me and I am hurting from the heartbreak. Its majorly my fault. I have been begging her but she does not want to listen. My family is saying I should move on if she does not want to listen but I think my family is saying this for their own selfish gain.
So, I am the second child of 5 children. Our first daughter is widowed, so its like my family depends on me for support. My immediate younger sister is married to a man that things is not ok for, so, she is like also depending on me with my other siblings and parents.
I am 37 years old. I been dating my girl like I said for 2 years plus. My plan was to get married after a year of dating but cos of my family needs, I have been postponing the wedding. I know once I get married, things may not be the same again, I may be forced to focus first on my immediate family.
So, I told my girl that we will get married in 2020. She agreed. But this year, because of corona, things didn’t go as planned. I am financially ok but I want a big wedding, I know what I have may not be enough cos I do not have anyone to support me. So, I discussed with her and suggested we move the wedding to next year.
My girl refused and said if we don’t get married this year, she is out…that she cannot keep waiting for me. I tried to explain to her that the wedding can be in March…Easter period but she says this December or never. Her giving me conditions, I did not like that and I got angry. My family supported me but I think its because of their dependence on me like I said.
My girl and I had a misunderstanding about this last month. She angrily left and that is how we broke up. Pride and ego did not allow me speak to her for almost 3 weeks. When I realized what my wrong, after some good friends advised me, I called her…her number did not connect. I realized she had blocked me…even on social media.
I was surprised at how far she took this. I went to see her but she refused to listen to me. I have been begging her…she walked me out the last time. She said she is in a new relationship…that we are over. Just like that? I mean…did she not truly love me? How can she have replaced me in 3 weeks already?
My friends said she is bluffing. That she is using it to see how far I am serious with her. So now, to show my commitment to her…I want to come see her parents formally, to make my intentions of marrying their daughter known. I plan to do a court marriage before the end of this year, just to show my seriousness….
However, I do not know if that will change her mind cos she is still not talking to me. I do not want to be disgraced if I go to her parents this Christmas to ask for her hand in marriage. My family is not really in support but they have no choice but to agree with me. They say I am marrying out of pressure.
Am I really marrying out of pressure? After two years? I hope this is not a step that will turn out wrong in future? So, I have planned to do a wedding introduction on Christmas day at her parents house. I contacted her parents to say I am coming with my family but they said I should go and settle with their daughter first before coming.
Yet…this girl does not want to listen. Please how do I beg her to change her mind? I know I was wrong to have allowed her break up after dating for two years. Her main anger is that after we broke up, I did not call her for 3 weeks…that it shows I did not care about her….
I have explained that is not true but she is not convinced I will choose her over my family in future so she has said she is done with me…but I don’t want to loose her…please what else should I do to convince her to change her mind…and how do I be sure this is the right step? all these begging and begging…hope it will not bite me in future…please advise me….
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