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How My Promising Relationship Turned Into Shame-Pls Advise

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How My Promising Relationship Turned Into Shame-Pls Advise

Good day ma,

Please please I am in need of advise. I was in a relationship with a guy, he told me he wanted something serious. He stopped every connection I had with friends. He is was always with me 24 hours a day. Even when I am at work.

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I am an ND holder but right now, I  am learning work. With the way he was, I had to take him to see my dad and my dad agreed and said due to the corona virus there will be no introduction he gave him marital list and ask him to go ahead with preparations.

My mistakes was, I got pregnant and my beautiful life turned around from the day I knew. My sweet boyfriend changed he stopped visiting and I told him I wanted the baby out he agreed and took me to his nurse I went twice for abortion .

I couldn’t get it out it didn’t work my boyfriend said a friend of his who is a seer has warned him against death so he wont try again I had to get my mum involved am from a polygamous family my mum and dad are no longer together I live with my mum when I told her she pleaded with me not to try it again.

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She said I will be with her till I give birth my boyfriend also agreed. That, I stay at home he always come around my mum asked him not to stress himself he should assist anyway he can. It has been up and down till fast forward to on 22.

We had issues again he came around and was saying he didn’t know what he did to me that I am always angry we quelled again and he left I felt bad and decided to call him I called him all through the night he refused to pick on 23 morning.

I decided to go to his place i haven’t been der since the early weeks of my pregnancy I went I knocked he came out and refused to open the gate I knew someone was inside I left to avoid embarrassment this is a house we went to look for together most of the things inside the house are mine.

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I went to his parents house I was told by his younger sis that their mum is not around. I left we use to go to his parents place together but since I got pregnant he has refused to take me der and I didn’t want to force myself on him.

I was at our family house wen i saw a girl come to me and start saying she is in a relationship wit my boyfriend they live together she was inside when I came to the house that my boyfriend told her we are not together any longer.

That she was surprised to see me in his house that very morning and she has been hearing rumors that a girl is pregnant for him I stood up from were I was sitting to show her myself and she said my boyfriend said he is not d owner of my pregnancy. This  was said in the present of my whole family both extended and all my little joy in my life died that very minute.

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The embarrassment was too much for me alone. My mum was angry and called him that she dose not want him close to our home again wen he called i asked him never to call me again and till now he didn’t call. I feel as if we gave him an easy way out but my mum is saying I should let him be and concentrate on my baby.

I don’t know how I cant think straight, I am ashamed of my existence. Even my mum is upset with me. Now I feel so alone I don’t know how I am going to face the responsibility alone he hasn’t even brought the baby things he told me he bought and I have few months left to give birth my heart is heavy pls advise me.

I am sorry for the long story ma. The girl also said my boyfriend is making preparations to go nd see her people they are already planning their marriage.

Anonymous

 

Photo Credit:Americanadoptions

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How My Promising Relationship Turned Into Shame-Pls Advise
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

7 COMMENTS

  1. Concentrate on how to give birth to your baby and forget him .Next time you will be more careful,you got pregnant for someone who is not serious please deal with the mess. The Lord is your strength

  2. Na wa. Very irresponsible guy. That ur boyfriend is a vagabond and you should not even get married to someone like that.

    You already made the mistake. You are not the first. Just take care of yourself and your baby now.

  3. Please concentrate on yourself and your unborn baby for now..sit your mum down and explain things to her and ask her to help you and also tell her how you’re feeling..
    As for that man please for your own good forget about him..by all means look for better things to occupy yourself… start strategizing on what you will do to help yourself and baby after you give birth..I wish you the best and safe delivery..

  4. Sister that guy is no good. Focus on your baby and life. Pray for helpers that will support you. Stop crying, the did is done. Be strong and move on.

  5. All of you are bashing the guy, but i ask did you know sex before is a SIN..yes you knew, but you fornicated, you wanted to do abortion which you is the one that suggested it, DONT EVER TRY ABORTION AGAIN, both of you did wrong by fornicating so stop playing the victim sister, but I sympathize with you. For me, I suggest you call him to discuss how money for child care will be, but if you must meet, YOUR MUM MUST BE THERE, probably a public place, at least for the one time you will discuss childcare, and no more lovy dovy with him, if he tries to sweet talk you that he was stupid to leave you and that he still loves you PLEASE do not fall for him, but i doubt if you will reject him, cos,many of you ladies are are sometimes very indecisive, that’s why sex before marriage is a SIN no matter how you paint it, at least you learnt the hard way. I wish you the best, love you. I am Akin

  6. Hello,

    You already made the mistake of sleeping with him before marriage….but instead of wallowing in self pity…its time to pick up yourself and take control of your life.

    Forget that man…he is a no good…now, its time to start planning how to give birth and raise the baby well.

    Get something to do…be empowered economically…do not give in to pressure to dispair…no time for crying or pity partying…many have been through this before…find out how they made it…cos you too can make it.

    Maybe now…focus on giving birth…hopefully…family and friends can support you..

    After that…get a job…start a business….grow your self worth and be determined to live a better life after now.

    You deserve a second chance in getting life right for you and your baby…do not loose your second chance…..fight to keep standing.

    God bless.

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