HomeAdviceMy Husband Won't Touch Me: He Says I Am Possessed-Pls Advise

My Husband Won’t Touch Me: He Says I Am Possessed-Pls Advise


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My Husband Won’t Touch Me: He Says I Am Possessed-Pls Advise

Hello ma,

Hide my identity. I think I need deliverance. I am 33 years old. I got married as a virgin two years ago to the man of my dreams. My husband is a cool guy…he was very proud of me that i kept myself as a virgin even at the age I met him and got married to him.

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However, things did not go as planned after marriage…all those romantic dreams of having sweet s*x after marriage was not what happened. S*x was not nice for me…hubby and I struggled in that area.

The main problem was, I was unresponsive…I loved foreplay…kissing and all but soon as he got inside me…I loose interest and it felt disgusting to me…especially when he ejaculates.

This made me begin to avoid s*x…I would lie to say I was sick or in my period or i was tired. This continued for one year…my husband and I became unhappy and started keeping malice. I honestly did not know what was wrong with me…

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Like I said…I tried all kinds of foreplay and eventually concluded that I preferred foreplay to the main thing. I only made an effort during my ovulation so I can get pregnant. But I guess because we were not emotionally connected…the pregnancy thing didn’t come in the first year of marriage.

By the second of marriage…the strain of poor s*x and no baby was taking a toll on our marriage…I began to suspect my husband of cheating. I had to confide in my friend, Suzie (not real name). Suzie was like: how can I be slacking o…that I will soon loose my husband and marriage.

Suzie spoke to me to read erotic materials and watch p*orn …she said I needed to learn new tricks on how to arouse myself and hubby in the act. That was how I started reading erotic content and watching online.

None of these things interested me until one day…I watched a rather aggressive erotic material. I discovered I was really turned on. I watched more and more of that content and I really wanted to try that…

Next time my husband and I tried to have s*x…I begged him to be rough with me…he was shocked but I shouted at him to do it like a man…he was aroused too and he was truly rough with me…I encouraged him to do more violent things to me…he did and for the first time in two years of marriage…s*x was fire for us.

My husband was stunned…me too…I told him what I did…he said maybe that was my turn on point…s*x became regular and more and more rough and violent…I began to have marks on my body…I did not care…my husband began to get worried but I told him not to worry.

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The more violent he was…the better the s*x…if he tried to be gentle…I lost interest…he was just as surprised as me…and that is how I got pregnant. We were both happy…but pregnancy did not stop me…my lust for dangerous and violent s*x increased as my pregnancy grew…

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My husband was scared of hurting the baby…but I told him to forget it…I was cool…doctor s*x is ok for the baby…I even became a little obsessed with pregnancy s*x…I wanted it every day and harder and rougher….

My husband sat me down one day and said this was not right…the fact that rough s*x made me seem possessed…I laughed it off…he asked me if I was ever abused as a child…I said no…haba…I got married as a virgin for God’s sakes…

My husband started to avoid me cos the pregnancy was in the third month…I got very emotional and cried myself…blackmailing him and refusing to eat for one full day…hubby caved in…I again was obsessed…doing the most…and in the heat of it…I started to bleed…

My hubby was frightened…and I too…I kept bleeding…no pad could hold it…I was rushed to the hospital….the doctor tried everything to save our baby but we lost the baby. The Doctor said it was not really rough s*x that caused the miscarriage but it may have contributed to it……my whole world crashed…we killed our baby with s*x…my husband blames me for it…says I am possessed and I need deliverance…

Its been almost 4 months after my miscarriage…hubby and I have never had s*x…he tried to after like 2 months but soon as he started …I started asking him to go harder…he stopped and since then …he has not touched me again…

I am so unhappy…what is wrong with me… I love my husband but I feel like he will never forgive me for our baby and he will never make love to me the way I like….I told him we can be rough until we get pregnant…then after that…no more dangerous moves…he did not listen…he still wont touch me…even after he knows me too  am hurting.

I forced myself to try to seduce him two days ago…and he said…gentle or nothing…I feel he is taking this thing too far and not caring about my feelings…for him to be deciding how we make love is not right…I have a right to enjoy it too.

I know the experience of loosing our child made him change but we may not get another baby if he is insisting on his own way….and he keeps telling me I am possessed and need deliverance….

Please am I truly possessed and in need of deliverance? From what I read and what Suzie explained…I am just one of those people who like BDSM or rough or violent s*x…its normal…yes…I will learn to be gentle when pregnant but to say we never try that again and that I need to go for deliverance is rubbish….

Someone should please advise my husband and me. (He and I will be reading the comments)I am willing to compromise but he too needs to meet me at the middle…I am not possessed…or am I?

Please advise me…


Photo Credit:123rf





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My Husband Won't Touch Me: He Says I Am Possessed-Pls Advise
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Maybe you should try the deliverance first o. And secondly. Since you wer a virgin. You just started discovering your sexuality. So I won’t blame you. But you have to tune it down. Violence isn’t so good. Anything can happen any time.

    Maybe you and your husband should see a sex therapist so you can work on yourselves and come to a reasonable conclusion of how you want your sex life to be

  2. You do not need deliverance but you need to be considerate on s*x while pregnant, getting pregnant also is not an issue of slow or rough s*x but trying it within the ovulation period which also does not guarantee you being pregnant.

  3. I think you need to also consider that rough sex may not be convenient for your husband. Hurting people is not natural even if it is during sex. He also blaming himself for the loss of the baby because if he had denied you rough sex that day, maybe the baby will still be.
    Why don’t you open your mind and unlearn that rough sex idea. Because it turned you on does t me that is the one ideal sex style for you.
    Explore your body and discover other new things. Both of you need to see a sex therapist and also discuss with a professional gynecologist that understands sex.
    Don’t be hard on your husband. He also is suffering like you.
    Comfort yourself together, you can have just foreplay and oral( if you like).

    What you need is healing sessions not deliverance. Pray together, fast together and God will guide you.

  4. Hello sister, you said for him to be deciding how both of you have sex is not right, I ask you to are you not telling him what to do which is violent rough sex, all those things you see in porn is rubbish, is there meant to be pornography sef, those people are depraved and don’t care about their audience, watch interviews of ex pornstars then you will know how wicked the porn industry is who are after the money.honestly you are being selfish, watching porn is a sin, I don’t care how you put it, even if you are married its still wrong, watching another man banging another woman, your friend gave you a bad advise and you took it. You are 33 years old for crying out loud, I wonder why people make sex such a big issue, I still can’t get it, yes its sweet but we make it so big and overrated, sex sex sex but now for almost four months no sex between two of you, you see how we hype and overrate sex. You have deluded by believing that nonsense porn you watched, it has confused you a lot. You said you have marks on your body, is that sex or rubbish, I think your issue is psychological, you said you like foreplay than sex, there are many people like you, since you like foreplay, tell your husband you are more into that, then its solved.. So why the hullabaloo. You are ok sister, but drop that idea of rough violent sex please. I love you. I am Akin.

  5. For me, I think you need counseling and a sex therapist! Your brain has been made to believe or feel violent sex is good! Praying to God for guidance and counseling on this issue is also a good idea! A true and trusted man of God can also help in this situation

  6. Aunty don’t destroy someone else’s don please. You can indirectly make your husband unknowingly become violent to other areas, also you can break his manhood someday with this crazy sex. ( please google that aspect).
    How will you feel is someone is stressing your brother or son with such method of sex?
    I don’t think you are possessed, you just need a re orientation about sex.
    I support your husband’s decision of taking it easy or no sex.
    Before you know it, your vagina will be stressed out with bruises.

  7. Behind every action, there is a spirit or force causing it. Please you need to be deliver from spirit of pornography which teaches you rough sex. after then, the right spirit of gentle love & intimacy when both of you meet will now take place.

  8. My position on this issue is that she needs to re assess sex life. Sex is something to be enjoy and not to cause any form harm to any of the party. She ought to see sex as a fun play the way she love kissing and romance.
    There is no reason for you to seek deliverance
    Your sex life should be redefine and been aggressive is okay but you have to ensure that mild sex is also cool.


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