My Fiancé & His Family Deceived Me For Months -How I Discovered The Devastating Truth
My fiancé and I have been together for two years now. We wanted to get married last year but he suddenly fell sick. That changed our lives completely. Initially, I thought it was diabetes…that was what he told me…cos he was loosing wait and was always in the hospital.
I did my best to be by his side. I loved him and I did not want to abandon him in his time of need. He was in and out of hospital for almost 5 months. When he was later discharged, he was on so many drugs and I was also by his side.
The only thing I prayed to God to do was to heal him. I am a stylist, taking care of him really affected my business but his family provided finances for us. Especially his sister abroad. In October, he seemed to be getting better, even though he was still looking skinny.
He was so happy that I stayed with him. He wanted us to get married and I agreed. We were planning to have a small wedding cos of his health…he still looking skinny you know. So, we started planning. Wedding was fixed for December ending.
One day…my fiancé called me to come. He was with one of his doctors who treated him while he was in the hospital for months. I was scared…why is Dr. Oyemike (not real name) with my fiancé…hope no problem.
My fiancé asked me to sit down. My heart was racing. He then told me that he cannot continue our wedding plans without him telling me the truth….and the doctor was here to help him tell me the truth about his illness. My fiancé now told me that he is HIV positive.
He told the doctor and his family to tell me it was diabetes because he did not want me to leave him. But that as we get closer to getting married after all I sacrificed by staying by his side…his conscience did not allow him continue without telling me.
How did he become HIV positive…he did not want to say cos he said it does not matter. But I started crying…cos I felt he did not trust me and still does not trust me enough to tell me the truth of it all…he then said he met with a prostitute two months before he fell sick…that he never meant to cheat on me but he went to a private party and his friends organized a party and there were girls…call girls…
That party…I remembered it. It was in Abuja. It happened when he was there for a business meeting…his friend had linked him up with someone who would give him a big contract…the meeting went well and later he was invited to a private party. He told me about the party but never mentioned there were girls there.
Then Dr. Oyemike now explained that I should try and forgive him for not telling me but that my fiancé was going to commit suicide if I found out. So, they all promised not to tell me. That HIV can be managed and we can still be married and live happy with drugs.
I was also told that his elder sister has promised to bring us abroad after our marriage so we can get the best care for the HIV and make sure that I don’t suffer or regret anything. To me, I was very shocked and all I felt was how the entire family and even doctors connived to keep such a deadly secret from me.
How can I get into marriage with such a family and with such people around him. I had to tell them that I needed to think about it, tell my family and pray about this. I was shaking. My fiancé begged me not to tell my family. I told him my family must know. Cos, its my life….they have to know.
He finally agreed…but since then…I have not had the heart to tell my family. I feel like I should not tell anyone…I should just walk away…my fiancé is saying his life is over if I leave him. His sister has spent time telling me how the family will make sure we are ok…that they will bring us abroad….
All these is making me have soft feelings and want to still marry this man but there are things that still bother me:
- I cannot tell my family…if I do…they will never support this marriage and if I dont…if anything happens, they will not be happy with me
- My fiancé cheated on me to get a business deal….I never saw him as that type of man…has this sickness changed him or will he still do that if things changed?
- My fiancé’s family and everyone around him kept his status a secret from me…they say because he was suicidal….I will never completely trust them…or am I over reacting?
Please advise me…if you were in my shoes….what will you do? I need urgent advise…