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How I Got Entangled With The Nicest Man But His Wife Wants Him Back


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How I Got Entangled With The Nicest Man But His Wife Wants Him Back

Good day ma’am,

I am in a fix. I need your advise. Please keep me anonymous. So I met my boyfriend last year. Specifically in January, a few days after new year. When we met, he was suffering from heartbreak. He was married…just barely two years and he found out that his wife was sleeping with her boss.

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This same boss, was involved in company fraud with his mistress….his wife and they were sent to prison for six months. At the time his wife was sentenced with her boss, she was pregnant. He was not sure if he was the father cos she was obviously having an affair.

So her prison sentence was shortened to 3 months and fine. But they were separated cos he felt betrayed by his wife. He wanted to divorce her as well but her family pleaded with him…cos they were panicked that she might take her life.

So they were separated when we met. He is such a sweet soul and I have never met anyone like him. I wonder why his wife would be stupid to cheat on such a good man. He told me he loves me but he is separated and that he will get a divorce after the baby is born.

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I agreed. I say this guy is the nicest…sweetest….I gave him my virginity cos I was obviously in love. He loves me so much. Some of his family knows me. They are cool with me. My family is also cool with him.

So this woman gave birth. But what I did not know is that while she was pregnant and out of prison, this woman convinced my boyfriend to attend therapy with her. My boyfriend, who is Mr. nice guy…agreed cos he did not want anything bad to happen to her. But in so doing, he was giving her hope while he was also with me.

This woman gave birth…and the DNA shows the baby is for my boyfriend. My boyfriend told me that he is still going on with the divorce. Which he filed. But this woman is doing everything in her power to stop the divorce.

Do you know she even got my number…called me and begged me to leave her husband and give their marriage a second chance….that they are in counseling…trying to work out their marriage but her husband is feeling he cannot disappoint me after taking my virginity…

I am torn ma…I asked him…he said he loves me so much and is afraid of loosing me. That I have been so good to him when he was lost….that I was faithful and loyal and me giving him my virginity is a gift he knows is very important to me…so he is willing to let go of his wife who betrayed him for me that stood by him and gave him hope in life again.

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Ma…all that he said is true…but I feel he is saying all these but if I did not give him my V…he would have gone back to his wife. Every day, the wife is begging me to forgive her and leave her husband alone…that God will give me my own husband.

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This woman even sent her mother and family to beg me…some were insulting me and calling me home wrecker. sending wicked messages on my social media page…I don’t know anymore.

This is emotional blackmail…I know but it makes me feel bad…that I may be the reason this woman and her child will not have a happy home. I know I am not the cause of their problem cos she did the betrayal…but I inserted myself in their situation when their divorce was not over.

This is such an emotional mess…the family members that were cool with me are now giving me cold attitude…they want me to leave their son to work on his marriage…but he says he is going ahead with the divorce cos he made a promise to me…I need advise…should I let him go…free him of his promise to me or let him do as he pleases?

I know he still feels hurt by his wife but knowing how good a human being is…I know he is also very forgiving and  may be able to give her a second chance….I am just the only obstacle….and I love him so much…I cannot imagine my life without him…what should I do? Please advise me…how do I know who he loves more….me or his wife?

My father asked him if he can take two wives since he loves both women…he said its up to me…if I allow him…but if I say no…he is committed to marrying me once he divorces his wife…I don’t want that…never will I be a second wife…I don’t believe in that…the situation is either me or her…he says its me but he is also willing to be in her life if I permit him…which kind of over niceness is this or does he have strong feelings for her?

I just want to be able to know who he loves more….I will be able to make my decision… he is still going ahead with the divorce…doesn’t that mean he loves me more? Why wont his family see that…why are they making me feel so bad…What do you think?




Photo Credit:bridgewatermecury


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How I Got Entangled With The Nicest Man But His Wife Wants Him Back
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. I got to know how much you love the guy,but as the Bible say, “What God joined let no one put ussander” kindly give them time,If he is yours he will finally come to you but right now you have to leave and stay calm!

  2. Nne leave him alone,it is obvious his wife wants him back and she is gonna do everything possible to get her husband back no matter what even if it means going diabolical. Allow him decide what he wants,don’t force him to marry you. You also have to be careful, also note that he already has a baby with his wife so there is somebody already between them oooo. Take a break for now,I know it is not easy but take heart inugo, sorry. It is well with your soul

  3. This answer to this dilemma you are in is simple ma. But first, look at it this way…

    The man was married before you met him aside the issues he’s having with his wife. He’s married in the sight of God and man. So he’s not yours to begin with.

    Secondly, if Jesus tarries, mistakes are bound to happen but when there’s repentance, all mistakes can be forgiven. The said wife must have realized how foolish she was & she has repented and now wants to come back to her husband which she married, you see?

    Thirdly, ma you can never know the root cause of what’s happened between the man and his wife, you can & will never know no matter what the man tells you. There’s no reason without a cause. The woman cheated but did her husband tell you what he did that made his wife cheat on him? Of course not, ‘cuz shifting blame is the easiest thing to do in this world.

    For the sake of your well being, release the man, let him go back home. Yes it will be painful but in the end, you’d be glad you did. Your heart has been broken no doubt, don’t further allow it anymore. Only Jesus can mend it right now not that married man. Are you hearing this?

    So you need the strength and comfort that comes from the Holy Spirit to walk out in peace. You have nothing to loose ma’am, in fact you’ll be doing the right thing and as soon as you do that, your own man will show up.

    Thank you.

    The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.

    • Hello. I disagree with you, saying did the husband say what he did that made his wife cheat. Adultery is 100%the culprit’s fault. The wife is mature lady who knew right from wrong. Adultery can never be a mistake but an intentional wicked act.. After the lies to hubby, late nights, deceits, enter traffic, sex styles with the boss you tell me the hubby is the fault of her adultery… No sir.

  4. Hello,

    Two wrongs don’t make a right.

    Lesson for everyone, don’t start a relationship with a man who is married.

    Following Gods laws would have allowed you leave without loosing anything now.

    Please do not sleep with Him again so you don’t end up pregnant along side His wife.

    They are still married, the ideal is for them to work it out and since there is a possibility there let it be.

    You have to let Him go and visa versa and put measures in place for your relationship with Him to end now.

    Be deliberate about it, don’t be a second fiddle
    or a ‘comfort bag’ He keeps running to after they are back together and have issues.

    He’s married, let your own man come.

    Seek God, do right, He will reward you in the end.

    It’s painful but let it go.

  5. He is still in love with his wife, if not he won’t be considering getting back with her. Please let them be and move on with your life. God will reward you with an even better man for a husband. Leave the man who deal with his mess, don’t get into a complicated situation that you will regret for life. Even if he marries you the wife will always be in your lives and it will be like a shadow over your marriage.

    Let him go!!!


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