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If Cheating Is Normal For All Men-How Do I Keep My Marriage Going?


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 If Cheating Is Normal For All Men-How Do I Keep My Marriage Going?

Good day,

I have evidences that my husband of 11 years is having extra marital affairs. It hurts. I first discovered in march 2019 with a lady on our street in the estate we stay. I asked him then but it got all messy and I experienced domestic violence with him.
People (families on both sides) intervened then, but to my shock, I was told :you don’t ask a man why he was cheating …its normal in this part of the world! that i should just face the care for my children and make myself happy with them.


Since then, I tried to manage information I have about him still cheating on me with other women. In fact, I am advised to look away anytime he goes on the supposed adventures,  I was told its mid-life crisis that I should keep praying for him. I am trying to but, it is not easy  for me.
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I am beginning to think of considering a friend to be intimate with as well. He has been there all through this experience. He is still there, but I try to set boundaries between us physically. However, my husband’s actions and the way he rubs his affairs with women( now I have evidence of two other ) on my face, it is really getting to me.


What do I do? Should I just let sleeping dogs lie so as not to incur another beating  or should I ask him. ( I asked in the most gentle manner the first time, but he became so defensive  even to the extent of beating me up)


I am just quiet at home, I am not happy and it’s telling on my relationship with my children.
What’s the best advice:
1)look away and keep praying for him in this midlife crisis .
2) play along with “my friend” too or
3) try talking about the issue again with him(hubby)?
Thank you.
Photo Credit:thenationonline 
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A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Nne look away and care for your children, as long as he takes care of you and the children abeg don’t kill yourself because of any man oooo.You want to ask him so that you will receive another beating. Don’t cheat,be descent please .The Lord is your strength

  2. Nobody is forcing you to stay, if you are not happy then leave before you die of depression. Get as much money as you can and move. Chances are that he will marry another 2months after you leave and chances are that you could stay and risk treating STD’s or worst manage HIV. To crown it all he beats you too nawaao. Stop condoning rubbish when you have the resources to be happy. He doesn’t value or appreciate you. He could get a serious disease and treat himself secretly without your knowledge and it could go worse for you. If you get infected and unknowingly die of it, he will still remarry asap an what happens to the kids? Madam weigh your options and choose your cross very well. Don’t ask and don’t cheat. Many women are managing it and treating themselves cos there’s every chance he won’t use CD always so don’t stress yourself to pray for him and don’t waste your youthfulness, peradventure he becomes a vegetable tomorrow (nobody prays for sickness but it comes still) na you go carry the cross so please just choose your happiness and peace of mind. Life is short.
    My 2kobo!!

  3. Youddie has said it all….walk away if you can’t cope to avoid depression…

    If he becomes a veggie tomorrow, you would be the one to care for him cause the law binds you together…

    My dad left us when I was 15, to marry a lady that had two kids in a faraway land and now he’s back with a partial stroke and my mum is carrying the cross after 13 good year’s..My dad has always been cheating but my mum just had to keep quiet…He got a transfer from our base and went somewhere else to remarry…No matter how we called him, he doesn’t pick up not to talk of sending money…

    Why am I saying this? If you know you ain’t ready in case it back fires,leave the marriage please…

  4. My humble advice is too leave, but make sure you set yourself comfortably with job or business to support yourself……please you have just one life….and you should value it….pray for a next step after that let God lead you….but please do not cheat…do not sleep with any other man…..do wat is right ,,, and you know it best….

  5. Please don’t bear any I’ll treatment anymore,
    Please approach him and air your mind out to him.
    Beating of any form shouldn’t be condoned nor look over.
    Any man that beats his wife doesn’t deserve a faithful lady as a wife.
    And lastly your life is at risk of STDs and the likes as a result of him sleeping with numerous ladies.
    Please if you can’t cope with him anymore just meet him and ask for a divorce than you contacting Life threatening diseases.

    Your life & that of your kids matters a lot.

  6. But why is your man cheating? And if you ask him, he will flare up and possibly beat u. I think that’s hard and there’s something behind that.

    Men feel sorry whenever they are caught cheating, this your case is odd.

    I will advise you have a heart to heart talk with him and ask questions; mild questions that will make him talk. After then, give him some time to check for change of attitude and if he doesn’t change, you can make a decision. That decision shouldn’t be u sleeping with your friend just to get back at him, that will be too foolish.

  7. Its not a man nature to commit adultery, don’t settle for less, any man that’s commit adultery does so cos he wants to and he wants to cos he is wicked and greedy, he is 100% at fault. He is a wicked man. Pls take care of yourself, make sure you financial support, don’t be surprised if he wants to divorce you so pls make your money sister. Im a man but I hate adultery and more so people justifying it. Pls be strong sister, you are much stronger than you think. I am Akin


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