My Husband’s Past Is Threatening Our Marriage – Is There Any Hope For Us?-Pls Advise
There are lessons to learn and advice to give on this story. For example…what are the possible reasons a spouse will deny his or her spouse s*x? Please read and share your experiences/advise after reading. Note: All names have been changed to protect the poster.
Good evening ma,
My name is Anna . Myself and my husband have been separated for the past one year. This is because I found out that he is a bisexual. Well, I knew he had done things in the past. He told me because of his upbringing, he was involved in some relations with men. He had no choice then…he had to survive as an orphan and he was staying with a relative who introduced him to s*x with men from age 11.
He said he did not know it was wrong until he was 16 years old. Since then, he had stopped it. He has been straight for 18 years even before he met me. He had dated other ladies before me. We dated for two years before marriage. We have two children and things were fine with us.
The only thing I noticed was when I was pregnant with my second child, s*x was an issue. I had a difficult pregnancy…I was always sick with high blood pressure. So, I was not s*xually active. He complained a few times and I got upset that he was not being considerate of my condition.
We would quarrel and not speak to each other sometimes. Especially when he made a very nasty comment that women who deny their husband s*x are pushing them to go and cheat on them. After I gave birth,you know, you cant have s*x until like six weeks…so it was like two months after, I still noticed we were not having s*x, he was not making any advances to me.
So, I tried to make advances to him and to my disappointment, he started pushing me away. He turned me down several times until I gave up. Its heart breaking you know. I started asking him what was wrong and he will keep quiet. Later, he said he is not interested in s*x anymore cos I denied him too much so he made up his mind never to touch me again.
The torture was too much. I begged him…I asked him let us go for therapy…all fell on deaf ears. That made me begin to accuse him of cheating …he showed me his phones and asked me to check everything….to prove he is not cheating…so how does a man live with his wife and is not desiring her ….yet he is not cheating.
I cried and prayed. I told him I cannot leave like this. So, he bought me a dildo to pleasure myself. I threw it back at him. I married a man…not a s*x toy. He even made me think he was psychologically sick cos I cannot understand how a man can suddenly hate s*x simply because his wife could not give him s*x for like 6 months….and now he completely hates s*x…what happened? what did I do that is so wrong.
Constantly, hubby made me think I was wrong for denying him…and now, he has become disgusted at the idea of s*x now. I started to read and make my research. Somehow, an idea came to me, I decided to call all the strange male numbers on my husband’s phone one after the other. It took a while but I stumbled on one name: Ice.
….story to be continued in subsequent post
Click here read part 2 of this story