The love story of the Kabwes
How we met:
MIKE MUGALA, Lusaka
AS Henry Kabwe listened to Doreen Njobvu give a speech at the World Press Freedom day at the Freedom Statue in 2008, he got carried away.Her boldness attracted him such that he began to develop interest in her within a short time.
They met in town three months later. Doreen tried to ignore Henry but he stopped her and asked for her phone number.
Doreen on the other hand- tried by all means to avoid Henry because she was not interested in him.
“He gave me a lift after a workshop at Chrismar Hotel, he gave me a DVD before I got home. Little did I know that he used that trick for us to get talking,” she said.
Henry started calling Doreen on the pretext that he wanted his DVD when he actual wanted to meet up with her.
One Saturday, he informed her was going to her place to get the DVD. When he got there, the two hugged and this marked the start of their relationship.
Though Doreen seemed not interested, she started playing along and accommodated him. Within no time, the two clicked and began to talk about almost anything.
“Everything happened so fast that to some extent, I started behaving as though I was being remote controlled. He was so funny and I found myself being accustomed to his jokes,” she said.
Doreen did not take Henry seriously when he told her that his relatives would visit her father for marriage negotiations.
She was later perplexed when her father gave consent to the marriage proposal.
At some point, Doreen began to feel as though Henry had a hidden agenda because he was too quick to settle down.
Henry felt so comfortable with Doreen and he did not waste time before the two got married on December 19, 2008.
“I felt I had taken too long to marry, no wonder I did not want to waste time, I was not scared of losing her. Her level of intelligence and her beauty attracted me,” he said.
In the course of his marriage, Henry has learnt that people should be real and avoid pretense.
He said people should distinguish between their roles at home and at the office or work place. Henry is director at Media Network for Children’s Rights while at home is a father and husband.
Doreen on other hand, says that marriage is a life commitment which requires seriousness.
She says people getting married should always ask themselves why they are getting married.
“People should be true to themselves. Marriage is not a thing you go into for convenience. Marriage should be accompanied by genuine love as opposed to material possessions,” Doreen says.
Henry says people in marriage must also take time to know each other to avoid challenges.
He says frank talk is important as it helps to smoothen a marriage when something goes wrong.
Henry says people should look forward to resolving their misunderstandings and always forgive each other.
“Prayer is important in a marriage, a couple must always pray together. People in marriage must not depend on themselves for their marriage to work but God because he is the author,” he says.
Doreen says there very high rates of divorce among young couples today because of adopting a fake lifestyle.
She says people in marriage should always endeavor to live within their means to avoid unnecessary pressure.
Doreen says people should not stress to put up expensive weddings to keep up appearances and impress society.
“I have learnt the importance of tolerance and treating people with respect regardless of their social status,” she says.
Doreen says people in marriage must put God at the center if their marriage is to last long.
She says it is always important for people in a marriage to compromise on certain things in order to accommodate each other.
Henry says his marriage has had its share of problems and good times and that people should learn to resolve their issues.
He has advised young people to have genuine attraction to a person they want to marry.
“People must not get married because of material possessions, they should get married to the person,” Henry says.
He says people should desist from a tendency of looking for marriage and not a person. Henry says most people get into marriage to ease economic pressure.
He says young people should look out for potential in a person so that they add value and help build up that person.
Doreen has advised young people to build themselves up and stop getting into marriage to satisfy their needs or expectations.
She says young ladies need to discover their worth and find their place in a marriage.
The couple has three children together. Doreen is the programs officer at Zambia Centre for Inter-party Dialogue.
Copied from Zambia Daily Mail limited.