My Desire Is To Marry My Soulmate But That Would Give My Mother A Heartbreak-Pls Advise
I need your advise. Hide my details. I am a 28 year old young man. I have a good job and I would like to settle down and get married but I have a big problem. The problem is that I am in love with a woman who is 18 years older than me and I cannot marry her yet I cannot stop loving her or commit to another woman because she is my soulmate.
This woman I am talking about is my mother’s friend. Lets call her Ada. Ada and my mom have been friends for a very long time. My mom is older than her by 5 years but she looks young and very pretty …my mom is young too. So, it happened that during my secondary school days,I was very shy and many of my mates teased me that I don’t have a girlfriend.
Puberty was tough for me and I used to avoid talking to girls and all that. My elder ones used to even laugh at me but I did not care. Only Aunty Ada used to playfully call me her boyfriend and that made me smile really.
When I got into university, I was still a virgin and still very shy. I was what you call a nerd. I just focused on my books. I came home one time while I was in 300 level and Aunty Ada came around to the house. She was her usual friendly and teasing self. She was the only person I was really close to.
Aunty Ada is a single mother. She has twins who were like 10 years younger than me. She was not lucky in relationships. She was always dating one guy or the other. So this time, I came back from school, she teased me and asked me if I now had a girlfriend…I just ignored her and told her to leave me alone.
Later on, she asked me to see her before I left back to school cos she wanted to give me some money as her favorite son from my mother. The day before I was going back to school, I went to Aunty Ada’s house and when I saw her, she had just come out of the bathroom.
I was shy and didn’t want to look at her. She laughed so hard at my me being so uncomfortable. She then asked me what will I do if a girl wants to f*ck me. I told her, I will think about it. Just then, she dropped her towel and showed me her stark nakedness. I was dumbfounded. She asked if I had been with a woman like her…I said know…she took her hand and dragged my hand to her privates.
Long story short, Aunty Ada was the first woman I slept with in my life. She was my mother’s friend and I knew it was wrong but I was happy with her cos she helped me overcome my shyness…I didn’t want anyone to know I was still a virgin at age 23.
She later taught me about s*x,women and how to be a sly guy…etc. I went back to school a changed man. I had a girlfriend who confessed I was her best boyfriend. Truth is, Aunty Ada taught me well. Every holiday,we had s*x. I even snuck out of school a few times to have s*x with her.
Aunty Ada was my lover. We talked…we laughed…we joked…we did everything. I was so comfortable with her. I graduated from school and I got a job in Lagos. Anytime she came to Lagos,we would see each other in a hotel. She told me I am her soul mate too. We wish we could get married but my mother would kill both of us.
Even with the girls I dated…none compared with Aunty Ada. And that has been my challenge in finding love and getting married. Aunty Ada is 46 years old. Never been married but she is an awesome woman. A fantastic lover. I feel marrying anyone else will be unfair to her and me cos we love each other but we cant be together.
We have talked about even relocating to Ghana but she is also thinking of what her twins who see me like a big brother would think. This life sucks…I need advise…how do I truly commit to someone else when my heart is with another? My mother is already on my case to come home with a girl and get married and settle down one day.
I am at cross roads…anytime I am in a relationship…I always find myself comparing the lady to Ada…Ada is one lady that has no comparism…she is my llover…my baby…one of a kind…what is the worst that can happen if my family becomes aware of me and Ada? They disown me…my mother may die of heartbreak but so will I …I will die one day of heartbreak if I cannot be with Ada…she was my first and I want her to be my last…
Please tell me what to do….
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