HomeAdviceIs My Husband Secretly In Love With His Babymama?-Pls Advise

Is My Husband Secretly In Love With His Babymama?-Pls Advise


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Is My Husband Secretly In Love With His Babymama?-Pls Advise

There is something wrong somewhere…I don’t know what it is but I need your advise because I feel someone who does not know me will not be biased. I got married last year July to the love of my life. Jide (not real name) and I dated for almost three years before we tied the knot.

Jide has a baby mama who has a 5 year old daughter for him. I have always known what I was getting into when I decided to marry Jide. I knew this woman would always be in his life cos they share a daughter. So, all her subtle attempts to cause drama, I just ignored her. She would flaunt the car he gave her because of their daughter on social media,etc…

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Her daughter, now my step daughter was little bride at our wedding. We sent her pictures of her daughter at the wedding, this woman cropped my face out and left only her daughter and my husband and she tagged my husband when she posted the pictures.

I felt it was hilarious  and shady, so I screenshotted it and post it. Alot of people made comments and I think some of my followers traced her page and discovered who she was. I think that is how my ex boyfriend also knew about her cos he liked the picture too.

The next thing I know, my ex boyfriend starts to like her and follow her on social media. Now, they are dating. I know that this arrangement is weird…why my ex boyfriend of all people…now you may ask: why do I care? Well…I don’t care…its just that this attempt to get to me maybe working a little.

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Next thing I see post of their picture with tags: couple goals….when your ex marries their ex. I know that is definitely shade at me. I felt it was important to tell my husband and I did…and his reaction surprised me. He did not try to understand where I am coming from…instead, he got upset that I was bothered about his ex and my ex are doing…

But things took a different turn when it was her daughter’s birthday in November. My husband got angry that his baby mama took his daughter and went on vacation in Dubai with my ex. You see, this woman is wicked…why would she be doing this?

I called my ex to plead with him to stop playing childish games with this woman…cos she was just using him to get to us. My ex laughed and said he does not care and that I should warn my husband to stop flirting with his baby mama who is now his girlfriend or he would expose him.

That shocked me. I don’t know how to confront my husband. I don’t even know if its true or they are just trying to me mad. But I decided to let it go and focus on my man and my marriage. Only for me to get another sms from my ex…telling me to talk to my husband to stay away from his woman…that he will break his head next time he tries to have s*x with her…

I showed my husband the text and he said I should ignore those fools. That they are planning to frame him. That he visited his daughter, which he did not tell me, and that his baby mama, was the one trying to drag him to sleep with her, that she wore a see through lingerie and he did not give her what she wanted. So, she is cooking up stories that he is the one coming for her…so she lied to her boyfriend.

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Now, my issue with this story and this situation is that …my husband did not truly telling me he was going to see his daughter…and he never mentioned his baby mama tried to seduce him…why am I hearing it now that someone else just told me?

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He said he did not want me to start thinking anything so I felt no need to tell me. That hurt me. I feel like my husband deliberately kept the fact that he was going to see his daughter and maybe there is something going on that I am not aware of. I am now truly worried.

My husband through out the time we were dating never gave me a reason to think he had any feelings for his baby mama. One part of me wanted to find out. So, I begged my girlfriend to talk to my ex …to find out anything. My ex told my friend, Abimbola that my husband is deceiving me and that he is very jealous that his baby mama has found a man and is trying to move on.

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That he too finds it odd cos my husband seems really threatened he is around. That he made an interesting comment about his ex. That he had her first before him. That made him probe his girlfriend…to ask what exactly is going on. She did not want to say at first but that my husband still loves her…he is just upset that she slept with a friend of his who they had threesome with about four years ago.

That they were going to get married but that betrayal was just too much for him and he called it off. That him marrying me…was just to get back at her. That they will always love each other. That he is trying to be faithful to me ….but that she knows him better…that he will always want her …not to marry but to f*ck her….which he loves to.

All these information is just too much…its either this woman is crazy or she is telling the truth…but I am restless so I had to ask my husband…of course he denied everything…laughed at the idea that he had a threesome with her years ago…he told me to stop allowing these people to come in-between us.

My marriage is barely a year old….this jealousy and drama and suspicion is weighing me down. My heart starts beating fast when ever my husband goes to pick up or see his daughter…I don’t know if he is cheating on me…but now, I am so paranoid…especially cos my ex has actually broken up with his baby mama….he said its clear my husband and his ex still has feelings for each other…

Till today…my husband denies everything….but that fear is still there…my ex told my friends to tell me to be careful…that my husband still has feelings for his ex and may be secretly sleeping with her.

What do I do….believe my husband or my ex…(he too felt he was being used as a tool to revenge against my husband) ….now, who is deceiving me or am I just being paranoid…my ex must be right abi? sometimes, overthinking about this wants to make go crazy. Please advise me…




Photo Credit:news24


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Is My Husband Secretly In Love With His Babymama?-Pls Advise
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Madam don’t die before your time. Give yourself break and rest of mind. So what if they are dating? Are you going to leave your marriage because of that? You need to be calm to reason your line of action.
    They will be exposed very soon and you will be the judge of the matter.
    Calm down, stop probing your husband, he will never say the truth.
    What you need is proof. Set them up/ get someone to monitor them.
    However if it turns out to be true, what do you plan to do? You have to be ready.

  2. Please calm down,don’t force anything rather watch and see how things unfolds okay. The truth will surely prevail. Just concentrate on your marriage and make it work .Forget about all of them and live your life to the fullest ,your marriage is just too young and fresh for all these brouhaha.


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