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Is My Husband Lying To Me- Why Does He Hate Social Media So Much?-Pls Advise

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Is My Husband Lying To Me- Why Does He Hate Social Media So Much?-Pls Advise

Is this normal? Please share my story and advise me. I met Mide (not real name) two years ago. We met on a flight to Port Harcourt. He was going for business, I was going for a wedding. We exchanged numbers and we hooked up afterwards.

Mide is a fine man. Financially ok. 41 years old. He told me he was in a relationship with his ex for 7 years. They dated for so long but when they planned to get married, the lady dumped him just a day to the wedding. They had done every preparation, paid for venue, caterer…etc.

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They later discovered that the lady said she was in love with someone else. Now, that was a big blow….how do you date someone for 7 years and dump him a day to your wedding? Mide took that hit very badly. He felt he took long to propose to her and so she got tired and started seeing another man behind his back.

Mide had not been in any serious relationship for 4 years the heartbreaking experience. I told him I do not do causal relationships. I am 33 years old. I also have a similar experience as him. I dated someone for almost 3 years. No issues…while promising me marriage, next thing I heard was his wedding was taking place.

I mean, he was still talking to me on Wednesday but his wedding took place on Saturday. Till today, I dont know what I did wrong. Mide and I bonded well because of our similar experience with relationships. He decided we keep our relationship out of social media. Mide is superstitious. We did not want any unwanted eyes in our relationship he says.

Relationship with Mide is love. He is a great guy and I always wonder what woman in her right mind wont not want Mide. But in all, we kept our relationship out of social media. I never post pictures of us together and he does the same. Mide also wanted us to get married cos he does not want to waste time anymore…he is 41years old.

Mide asked me to marry him 5 months later. I was over the moon. My family loved him too. He is smart and lovingly affectionate with me. All through wedding planning, we never shared anything online…we kept it to our selves but my family found it strange. Infact, Mide insisted on a small family only wedding.

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Of course that did not sit well with my family but I convinced them that its what we wanted cos we both had serious breakups in the past where we announced and celebrated our relationships that ended up not working out. They grudgingly agreed. Our wedding was just my family and his family and like 10 extra friends, mostly from my side.

After marriage, I wanted to at least post a picture…to change my status on Facebook. Mide refused, saying its safer to stay out of social media with your marriage. That people who flaunt their marriage on social media end up getting divorced…that there are bad people with negative vibes…Note though, both of us are on social media but no one knows we are married… I found it a bit weird that we will still continue to show single on social media when we are married.

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Yes, I know some people don’t like to flaunt their marriage on social media but just one picture or two is not flaunting. I discussed this with my younger brother who is a social media influencer. He told me that my husband is deliberately keeping me off social media cos he probably wants to keep talking to women and make them think he is single.

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I brushed my brother’s suggestion aside but he took matters into his hands and created a fake Instagram account where he chatted with Mide as a single woman. He posted s*xy pictures of a woman and Mide thought he was chatting with a model.

Mide truly fell for the prank. He chatted with this fake woman on IG and it went as far as him saying he is single and ready to mingle. He asked her for nudes. My brother, a graphics guru sent fake nude pictures to him. He sent his own. He started planning how he will arrange to meet her and f*ck her brains out… He mentioned a strip club where they will meet and he promised to log her in a 5 star hotel after.

My heart sank when my brother showed me all these. I have been married less than 3 months when all these happened. I confronted my husband with the evidence my brother gave me…and do you know my husband became mad with me for that….

Instead of him to apologize….he changed the whole thing…saying he suspected it a trick and so he went along…that it was too easy…and that for me and brother to go that far…that I don’t trust him and if I don’t trust him…then there is no need for the marriage. This man must be a professional liar and actor or he is truly caught us…

Before I knew it…I was the one now begging for forgiveness. My brother was pissed…called him a liar and a fake …they got into a fight…Mide called me names…jealous prick…controlling woman and said we are done. My family stepped in and tried to reconcile…Mide is still boiling hot and all.

You see, I am confused…Mide may have played us a double when he knows we caught him…that makes me feel truly that I cannot trust him…his excuse of not wanting to be on social media just does not hold enough water. Not even whatsapp status…why is he hiding from the world that he is married if not to cheat on me? ….But I do not want to be divorced under 4 months of marriage. The shame will be too much…I already went through one disgrace with my ex.

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What should I do? Stay in a marriage where my husband cannot be trusted just to save my face or face the shame and leave? What if Mide was actually playing us…or do you think he was lying? I think we can all agree that there is more to this….maybe he is truly lying. Maybe he is not….The only way I will be sure he is not lying is if he starts posting our pictures….at least…to show everyone that he is not single…but he wont do that…

Mide and I are not talking since…I have apologized to him …yet he is still giving me silent treatment…this is like insult upon injury. If you were in my shoes, what will you do? Please post and advise me…

 

Anonymous

 

Photo Credit:abc

 

 

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Is My Husband Lying To Me- Why Does He Hate Social Media So Much?-Pls Advise
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

5 COMMENTS

  1. Your husband is a chronic womanizer… you are in for big issue…
    Don’t you think that he might has family abroad, while he’s cruising around here in Nigeria.
    Also get a new sim, not known to him but known to few friends and start displaying your couple pictures.. but I’m sure he’s hiding something
    Even grandmas and grandpas on social media this days

  2. If I were in your shoes sister I will walk away,your brother is right by saying he wants ladies to see him as single…..and see evidence, wat more are you looking for……some men can look so innocent and don’t want to be perceived as a bad person so they hide and commit all sort of things and will appear godly but inside is dirty…..he doesn’t respect you either….think deep pray and decide for yourself move away if you have to and heal from this trauma,then decide if you can continue hiding your status and watching him keeping your union in dark till maybe one day you find out more things about him……its your choice to make but there is definitely a mystery

  3. I feel your husband is not been sincere with you .You where supposed to do alot of findings before accepting to marry him.I am very sure the story he told you about his ex was all cooked up.Pls ma’ am try and do more findings about him so you have enough reasons to walk out of the marriage.All the best!!

  4. My sister post pictures of your wedding to see what will happen. Highest you will go separate ways. Don’t let somebody be using you to cruise. That is the only way you can know the truth.

  5. What??? This is truly fishy your husband is not truthful to you , doesn’t respect you, doesn’t even love you becuse If he does he will do everything in his power to not scatter his home land wont be cheating on you anyhow and to him this your marriage is just charade are you even sure his family are is real family…do you know his extended family? Do you know his colleagues at work , do you go to his work place are you guyz ready connecting so deep that u know him are you sure the person u are dating isnt a dead man or someone that is married with somone with children in another location

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