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Help: I Am Thinking Of Killing My 50 Year Old Lecturer For Defiling Me

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Help: I Am Thinking Of Killing My 50 Year Old Lecturer For Defiling Me

 

Hi! Livelystones, I got your email from the bearer of this account.

 

My name is Princess(Not real name). I am a final year student of a school in Nigeria. Being a final student, it was obligatory to do project. There was this lecturer in my department that has been pressuring me with s*x since my 100 level days.

 

I always able to escaped his proposal but this turn around when I discovered that he is to be my project supervisor. So he recalled the fact that he made a proposal and refused and threatened to make sure that I don’t graduate unless I give in to his wish.
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This is an old man in his 50s and also a pastor. Making me to wonder if he doesn’t fear God. I was scared and confused because I have planned my life so well with no delay. I ended up giving in to his proposal but I hate myself for it and I can’t stopped having guilty conscience.

 

I can’t sleep at night, I have cried and asked forgiveness from God but I can’t let go of the guiltiness. Whenever I see him, I always thought of killing him. I have no one to talk to or tell my mind. I feel bad and stupid!! He is still my project supervisor.
How should I help myself?

 

Photo Credit:dailyactive

 

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Help: I Am Thinking Of Killing My 50 Year Old Lecturer For Defiling Me
Jzhane
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J

7 COMMENTS

  1. Dear Sister, you could have reported him right from your 100 level days, pls FORGET about killing him, even if he raped you and you go back a day or days after the rape incidence to kill him, you will still be chargee with murder but he didn’t rape you, you agreed to have sex with him, it’s painful but pls heal for your own good, I know it’s easy for me to say but it’s the thing to do so you don’t slide into trauma or depression and do something that will hurt you more. I wish you dealt with the issue at the start when he asked for sex. I love you Sister, pls heal and get help. GOD bless you Sister.

  2. Why did you sleep with him?There are many ways you would have dealt with him,you were not smart enough. You know you can’t commit murder if not see you see prison. Calm down and move on ,the deed has been done sis .Forgive yourself and be happy, you can’t live with this thought forever.

  3. Forgive yourself dear and move on, the deed has been done. You can undo the past. Breathe and move on. He’ll soon meet his Waterloo if he doesn’t repent. I love you sis.

  4. He will still ask you for more sex, so what will you do? Do you have a guidian/ or a lecturer in school that you can confide in, If not get one. You need witnesses because of next time.
    Also you put the cart before the horse. In situations like this you open up to respectable people that can help you even your parents/family before making decisions.
    Forgive yourself and treat yourself well. Opening up also helps to soothe your pain.

  5. Hello,

    My first question to you is: are you still in school? Have you graduated?

    If you are still in school…you can actually decide to report the lecturer to the police with the backing of your parents and NGOs that fight for students being sexually harassed.

    However, if you have left school….I think its better to do all you can to forget what happened and move on.

    I know its easier said than done but you cannot remain at this point of regret and thinking of killing him…

    You thought you did not have a choice but some people would have preferred to not give in and lose whatever it cost them.

    As it is…its a traumatic experience for you but I ask you to forgive him and forgive yourself and move on

    In life…you may have to lose certain things or friends if you want to do the right thing…if you choose to compromise…you will have to live by the consequences of your choices but do not let the circumstances of your life determine your happiness.

    Time to let it go…its done…free yourself….you think of a greater future than your past.

    Stay strong and stay positive!

    Cheers.

  6. […] guilty. That girl’s story about how she slept with her lecturer encouraged me to write my own(click here to read that story) …maybe I can get advise on what to do… I am a four hundred level […]

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