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Help!! My Fiance Family Traditional Laws In Marriage Is Death Trap. I Found Out After Our Introduction.


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Help!! My Fiance Family Traditional Laws In Marriage Is Death Trap. I Found Out After Our Introduction.


My friend is engaged to a man from Aku in Igbo Etiti Local Government Area of Enugu State and their traditional marriage will take place this coming Easter period. She is 25 years and currently schooling in one of universities in eastern Nigeria. Few days after their introduction, her Fiance’s family called her for a meeting. At that meeting, she was told their tradition concerning marriage (iwu). First, she was told that as a married woman, if she has any s*xual relationship with any other man aside her husband, she will run mad (which she is ok with). Secondly, she is not to share any personal belongings with anyone not even her siblings or children else she will run mad.

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This means she can’t wear same shoe, earrings, cloth, scarf etc with any of her friends, sister or even child else she will run mad and even if someone mistakenly wears any of these without her knowledge and the person goes into have sexual relationship with another person, she will still run mad. This is her major area of confusion. She is seeing it as a death trap and also bondage. She is doubting the possibility of keeping these laws. She is threatening to break off the engagement.

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Note: she had been dating this guy for a year and six months and not even for once did he mention his village tradition to her. She had also met some of his family members and no one told her till after the introduction.

Now this is her anger: Why did her man and her mother in law to be keep such important information from her till after introduction? Is it possible to keep these LAWS?

Photo Credit:Rational Faith


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  1. That’s Nsukka town for you. Its better they marry themselves. Some guy from Enugu-ezike wanted to marry my sister, since we know about their traditions my parents didn’t agree. Thank God they never accepted. My sister is happily married to someone else.
    Don’t put yourself in bondage all because of marriage

  2. Nne you better go and give thanks to your God that they didn’t tell you after the marriage. You know what Yoruba call ”JAPA” please run as fast as your legs can carry you .God forbid bad thing ,why won’t I be able to share my things with my siblings or friends,marriage bakwa oku there. If I were you ehhhh,I don’t need advise sef,I go don give myself brain as quick as possible. Odiegwu, ashi bakwa

  3. How people easily peddle falsehood baffles me. And then, some persons will just accept it hook, line and sinker without bordering to know the truth.
    OP, the only truth in your claims is that of adultery. The rest of your claims are blatant lies. I can bet that either you or that your friend made those ones up, possibly to malign the characters of the in-laws.
    If she will not be responsible enough to stay faithful to her husband, let her talk a walk now. After all, marriage is not a do or die affair.

  4. What a falsehood! Why don’t you ask for clarification? I’m an indigene of the said Aku who knows very much about her cultural norms and traditions. I grew up in Aku.
    The only truth in your post is that of adultery.
    With respect to sharing of belongs, any married woman should not intentionally allow anyone to use her clothes and bed for sexual activities but shall face no consequences if used without her knowledge.
    I hope you should be cleared by this.
    Learn to seek for clarification when you don’t have sufficient knowledge or understanding.
    Aku is a great town blessed with rich culture and traditions.

  5. The second leg of your claim is lies from the pit of hell.
    I wonder how people spread falsehood like this.
    I am even more angry about those who will hear something and digest it without asking questions, they are those set that spread hate speech around, God forgive you guys .

    I am from Aku and our tradition is Rich and sweet.

    The said lady should not ask people from Aku but should look for those ladies from other towns married to Aku and ask them .
    They will tell you better what you want to know .

  6. What is the “DEATH TRAP”?. Even the Holy books conderm Adultary. Please you can seek for further clerification on these and Stop peddling fulsehood and lies. May be your friend did not tell you what actually transpired. No Aku man will marry from another clan without telling his supposed woman about our tradition. We are very proud of it cos we are highly cultural. Please if you need more info on this, you can reach me via watsap 07058046196

    • So the woman cannot commit adultery and the man can commit .very bias culture.pls leave all this argument back and forth of whether or not the culture says this or that, one thing is sure that the culture does not the favours the women.the Bible says thou SHALL NOT commit adultery be it a MAN or WOMAN.so my humble advise is to leave the man and his culture and then marry someone else.Thank God is just introduction they’ ve done


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