I have a fiancée whom I started dating about two years ago. We work together and we are on the same level, and earn the same salary. Each time we hanged out to just have fun, if we got to a place where prices were too expensive, I would say to her but this things are much cheaper elsewhere.
For example, we went to a place though inside the same premises, one part of the lounge sells bottled water for 250 while the other one sells bottled water for 500, she then suggested that we go to the part where water was sold for 500. Note that it was in the same premises and there was absolutely no difference between the two, it’s not like one was VIP area and the other was not. We ended up going to the 500 naira side. All that we ate which of course was double the price, I paid.
Each time we went to the mall, we buy things normally. But there’s something about malls which some of you may have noticed, certain things such as pots, plastic rubbers, electronics, and so on are usually unreasonably exorbitant. So I said it would be better for us not to buy things that were too expensive that we could get outside for cheaper prices, but we could buy other things whose prices were reasonable. The next thing she started saying was that I don’t have class, it’s classy people that buy such things.
So one day we went to a pharmacy in that same mall, because she wanted to get some drugs, the price they called for her was about three times what it was outside, so she said it was better to go outside to buy it. So I just told her that since she has class she should buy it now, the next thing she started insulting me, she gave me the insult of my life. That wasn’t the only scenario, there were many other cases like that.
She had started to stay with me after a while. Every thing in the house belongs to me, and I made sure everywhere was conducive for us. Air conditioners every and so on, good house, good compound, surveillance cameras and so on. Initially I was shouldering all responsibilities like food, the car washer who washes the both of our cars, the security man, fuel in the generator, NEPA light, repairs in the house and so on.
Please note that we work in the same place and earn same amount. Sometimes when I was short of cash, since I knew that her own money would still be there, I would borrow from her to buy food stuffs and other miscellaneous, and pay back by next salary.
She contributed just about 10% of expenditures in the house which was majorly just food stuffs. Note that I buy much more foodstuffs 5 times more than what she buys.
That was not just it, the relationship was usually filled with arguments, I can hardly have a conversation with her, she would begin to argue.
I want to ask few questions here:
(1)please is there anyone who doesn’t know that Egusi causes pimples for those who are prone to having pimples?
(2) Is there any one who doesn’t know that if something is very hot, it is not advisable to put in the fridge?
(3) here anyone who doesn’t know that garlic is medicinal?
(4) Is there any one who does not know that it is not advisable to put on a generator when it has been drenched by rain?
But this girl will argue with me, insisting that I must put on the gen when rain has beaten it, because apparently, it is not her property. And the fridge is also not hers which is why she won’t care if it gets spoilt. In short there’s usually too much argument over what is clear for everyone to see, thereby it is always difficult to have a conversation with her.
I was later transferred out of the state we were, so I decided that because of her, I won’t take anything away from the house, I would buy everything I need in the new place I had been posted to. So I bought a bigger TV for the house we both shared and took the smaller one to my new place of posting. I bought my mattress, kitchen utensils, got an apartment, and bought every thing I needed in the new place. So now, I have most things in two pairs, just so she would be comfortable.
Please note that we aren’t yet married, and I agreed to not having s*x with her because that was she wanted, I respected that. The only thing I know we do was romance.
So I started insisting that it was high time for her to be responsible, that we can’t both be working and she won’t be buying reasonable amount of food stuff because I noticed that sometimes, she would go out and buy 3 packs of spaghetti, which doesn’t make sense to me. She said her dad is the one that buys food stuffs in her house and her mum contributes for petty projects. But I am not her Dad, I have my own mind. Also note that she didn’t volunteer to bring any amount for my project oo, because I won’t want a woman to contribute 1 naira to the houses I am building. All I said was that she should be contributing reasonable amounts for food stuffs in the house. We hardly stay two weeks without fights, she must look for one insult or the other.
We went for counselling and the pastors said she has to be contributing for expenditures in the house, we agreed on 60% to 40% sharing formula for all expenditures. So me as the man would contribute 60 while she will contribute 40. Please note that rent was not inclusive, as I volunteered to pay for the rent in the house we were and for my apartment in my new place of posting.
Later on, when she began to see the brunt of the responsibilities that I used to bear she started saying we (Me and the Pastors) are forcing her to contribute. But I didn’t know these Pastors before, that was my first time of meeting them, she was the one who knew them before me. But simply because they told her the truth, she started saying we are forcing her.
Please I need your honest opinions on this issue.
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