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My Husband Wants An Open Marriage Because He Can’t Get Over His Ex-Pls Advise


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My Husband Wants An Open Marriage Because He Can’t Get Over His Ex-Pls Advise

Good day,

I want to remain anonymous. I am 33 years old married woman and I need your advise because I think I have made a mistake in marrying the man I call my husband. So, I met my husband four years ago. He is the MD of a group of companies. I had gone to make a presentation and to interview him on his success in his business.

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We struck a chemistry during the interview. He asked me to join him for lunch and I did. Mind you, he is 57 years old. From having lunch with him, we started gisting, becoming friends and I think we both fell for each other. He told me his wife and himself are separated at the time so I told him we cant be together until he finalizes everything with his wife.

That did not stop him from pursuing me. But I rejected all his advances as much as I could. Apart 7 months later, he started his divorce proceedings. That was concluded within the next one year and by this time,we were clearly in love and I moved in to live with him. Despite the difference in age,we had a pretty great s*x life.

I got pregnant and eventually, their divorce fell through..so hubby and I got married in court. My husband’s marriage with his wife did not work because his wife was always cheating on him…he said he never wanted to leave her even though she was cheating but when he met me…he felt he deserved a chance at being with someone who loves him for being himself.

Our marriage is doing well despite all that happened with my husband’s ex and his children who are grown and in the UK. Well, all until last year…last year, their second son graduated from college and hubby went to UK for the graduation. And that was how, he and his ex wife connected and slept together.

Hubby hid this from me but I noticed our marriage began to decline. He began to travel to UK often even despite the strict covid-19 rules. And his ex wife started posting pictures of them together. I was shocked and blindsided. When I asked my husband, he did not deny it…he said he may just be realizing that he may have made a mistake by divorcing his wife and marrying me.

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Those words hit so hard. My son is just 2 years old and it appears my marriage is about to fall apart…to my husband’s ex. I was angry and upset and I told him to go to hell. But I love my husband and I don’t know what to do. I do not want to loose him. He says he wont divorce me but I think he is just saying that out of pity…not love for me…I feel so stupid and tricked.

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Now, I can barely see my husband to spend time with…he is most of the time with his ex in UK. When he is in Nigeria, the woman is always calling him. I cry everyday but my husband says he cannot do anything to push away his ex cos she is the love of his life ven though he knows his ex will still cheat on him.

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Then my husband dropped the bomb:he said he and his ex talked about me and she is wants us to have an open relationship. That is, she can still be having s8x with my hubby and whoever she likes and my husband and husband can still have s*x with me. She is not interested in marrying him again just wants to have as a s8xual relationship with him.

So, I started thinking of leaving the marriage but I am being advised to stay and pray about it.That there is nothing prayer cannot change. And I have being praying…now am tired. I am sad in my marriage…I have lost my husband…he is more excited to travel and have s8x with his ex rather than me…

My friend wants me to agree with my husband and his ex….so that I can also find a guy that will take care of me…after all hubby is getting his s*xual needs met…why can’t I do the same. That most women married to rich men do this all the time. Stay married on paper but you can still see other people as long as you are discreet about it.

But my fear is that…if I do that…that would make me loose my marriage faster…what if this woman (his ex) finally claims this man cos she apparently has a strong hold on him…and what if I go after other men and end up loosing my husband…Please what should I do? I don’t want to leave him …I love him so much…what can I do to win him back to me alone?

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Please advise me…



Photo Credit:iStock




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My Husband Wants An Open Marriage Because He Can't Get Over His Ex-Pls Advise
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello, when you know he was separated with from his wife, that should have given you a suspicion but it’s ok, also you said you feel tricked, yes he actually played you well, you also said you are thinking of leaving, pls stop thinking and act, leave,infact you arent both married, why will move into a man’s house who isn’t your husband, and later you now had court wedding, I’m sure there is more he isn’t telling you, he really deceived you, him and his wife will give you emotional trauma so stop thinking of leaving him but actually leave him, that your friend who told you, cos rich ladies sleep with other guys is your DESTINY DESTROYER, she will lead you to destruction and you well be only one to bear the consequences, pls that lady is a bad person, but I doubt you will stop friendship with her, I really doubt that, someone encouraging you to go into sexual immorality can’t be your friend, your mental health and well-being is important, so do the needful, and also when you get another man, SAY NO TO FORNICATION, that many people are fornicating doesn’t make fornication right. GOD bless you Sister.

  2. There is something his ex is doing that you are not doing,and that is sweet love making. She is very good on bed and you know men of that age love someone who can do wonders with their body,so you have to do something different when it comes to your sex life with him. Agree with the open relationship but don’t go out,don’t cheat ,read more books on sexual satisfaction. Someone who is already divorced , i don’t know why he is still travelling that far to see his ex,something very sweet must have been taking him there,unless the woman is using kayamata oooo,but if not work on yourself, do things that make him happy. If you love your husband, keep praying for him. God bless you

  3. PLS siste don’t mind anyone that tells you to agree to the nonsense open marriage. There is nothing like open marriage what it is is adultery which is a terrible sin. Pls don’t agree to it, leave the man is the best option, I repeat leave him cos he never divorced her he only deceived so you will agree to date him, that’s why he even told you the nonsense. Pls wake up sister

  4. The people telling you to agree an open marriage do not mean well for you. Please get a good lawyer and get out of that sham. You are young so give your self time to get over him.

  5. You think divorce is easy right. A lawyer will do it for free rough rubbish. Accept what you have been offered, do not cheat on him read more books and handle him well. When you divorce him you will marry a man that will not cheat right. Stay there and train your son


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