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My Life Is Nothing Without My Wife But She Betrayed Me By Dishonoring My Manhood


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My Life Is Nothing Without My Wife But She Betrayed Me By Dishonoring My Manhood

Mama Good evening,

Mama…you are the only one that can help me because I feel like ending everything right now. Yes, I want to end this life I am living because this life is full of shit for me. Right from the start,things have been so bad for me. I have had enough, its time to end everything.

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I met my wife when I was working as a cashier in the bank six years ago.It was contract job and I was not retained after the contract was over. I had to beg the security people to employ me as security guard in another branch of the bank. I was dating my wife and in-between, she got pregnant and we had to get married even though both of us were not financially ready.

My wife is a fashion designer. But after she had our first daughter, she lost her shop to government demolition. And so, we both became reliant on my 35k salary. Things got so bad that we lost our accommodation. She had to go live with friends, from there to her family. I was squatting with friends from time to time too.

When my wife got pregnant for the second child, I was very upset because she was supposed to be taking contraceptives but she said it did not work. The riddle we faced for having a child when we were still squatting with people was too much. Even my in-laws mocked me…saying all I am good for was to make babies that I cannot raise…not minding that their daughter did not do her part.

I started to run keke during my off days to add to my salary as a security man but things still went worse. I was let go from my job as security.  Doing keke when the keke is not yours, you have to settle the owner everyday for almost a year, until I was able to pay off the keke owner.

That was when my friend, Tunji got a 2 bedroom apartment and asked me to move into one room with my family. Tunji’s wife and children are in Benue, where they have a big family farm. Tunji’s wife used to come visit once in a month and he visits his family every three months. I was so appreciative. I asked Tunji’s permission to bring my wife and children to stay with me and he agreed.

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So, my wife and children moved into the  one room with me. My wife was very grateful. She started to fry akara not too far from the house and was able to support my keke business.The only problem I observed was that, anytime my wife cooked, she would serve Tunji. I asked her why,she said …just to appreciate him for helping us.

Before long, it was like we were living like one big family. Tunji would jus assume my wife would give him food anytime she cooked. When she did not, he would start giving us attitude. And then, my wife lost her akara frying spot to local govt officials. She started staying at home. Things were hard and this was casing friction between us. My wife would be complaining that what I drop is not enough to feed the kids.

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We started having issues to the extent that when I make a move on my wife, she will say she is tired. She started denying me s8x. This continued for almost five months. The next thing, my wife suddenly changed. She began to touch me, wanting me to make love to her. I wondered why the change in attitude…she said she was tired of fighting me. We made love twice in week and before I knew it, she said she was pregnant.

What? How? We have not been sleeping together for almost 5 months and just s8x in one week, you are pregnant? She said she was not safe. I told her she will have to remove the baby since we cannot take care of a third child now. My wife agreed eagerly. That was when I started to suspect something.

My wife would never agree to abortion cos of her religious beliefs. Why would she even quickly agree to this? I decided to do my investigations. I started a few days later. I came home around 9am. I usually leave the house from 5.30am to like 12 noon for my early morning keke rounds. So, my wife is not expecting me until afternoon.

I entered our room and my wife was not there. The children were playing inside the room. I asked them where is their mommy: my daughter said. She is in Uncle Tunji’s room. I went to Tunji’s room, without knocking, I pushed the door open and behold my wife was bent over and Tunji was having her from behind. I froze…. and then I wanted to kill Tunji. I actually charged towards him and ran to the kitchen and got a knife to kill him.

My wife started begging and screaming for neighbors to come and stop me. Eventually, I was separated from Tunji. My wife ran after me begging saying it was the only way she could survive. That food and money finished since and Tunji was offering to help if she allowed him to sleep with her. My own friend and my own wife.

I asked her if Tunji is the father of the baby…she said yes…and then I realized why she wanted to terminate the pregnancy. Ma…my wife has been crying. I feel like I have failed in this life. I asked how long has this been going on…she said for two months…See, how my life has been mocked cos of money? What else is there to live for? I have no where to go even if I leave Tunji’s place…my wife is pregnant for him too.

Is it not better to just end things? What else should I do? I love my wife and I cannot see myself ever forgiving this betrayal…and how will she even feel after this? She might leave me cos I cannot provide for her and the kids to feed…so what? she will sell her body to any man who promises to take care of her…what then is my use as a man? Is there any manhood to boast of after this?

I sincerely do not see a way out. I feel so bad cos of my children but I am tired of living like this…and my I cannot live without my wife so why continue to live?I need your advise ma.




Photo Credit:123rf


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My Life Is Nothing Without My Wife But She Betrayed Me By Dishonoring My Manhood
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello Brother. You said you can’t live without your wife, I will keep saying this, you can’t trust people, I wonder why people keep saying trust is important in relationship and marriages, what if you didn’t find out she would have given you another man’s child, how are you even sure the other children are yours, I tell people, trusting people will only break your heart, now you learnt the hard way, ending it is not right, be strong cos you are much stronger than you think Bro. Take it easy and don’t trust anyone no matter how good you may think they are, people are good @ pretending, believe me they are. All the best Bro. GOD bless you.

  2. So sorry for what you are going through. Pls ending your life isnt the solution i know its hard yes but think about your children and their future. My advice would be to move out of tunji’s house and rent a place of your own even if its only a room of face me and face you. Its far better than staying with a betrayal like your friend. As for your wife pls forgive her the difficulties pushed her into adultery which am not supporting but for the sake of your children forgive their mother rent a place and start from there with your family. I pray all your tough days ends soon

  3. Has your friend asked you to live his house? If not,please you have to continue staying until you get your own place. Your wife will have to get rid of that baby,let her get a job even if it means for her to be cleaning for people, it is better than staying idle. Forgive your wife,fight for your marriage,your marriage has to work ,no matter what. Forget about your friend, face your work and family. This too shall pass,this phase must pass. Many people have gone through worst case than yours,please do not end your life, God will be so angry with you . You need to be strong, bold and courageous enough to face life challenges, say no to negativity. You shall be blessed bro,it is well with your family, amen.

  4. So sorry my brother for what you’re going through. Please take heart. In as much as there’s life there’s hope. Please calm down and forgive your wife and friend. I know it may be so painful but please forgive and let go. Continue striving hard to meet up with the upkeep of your family, bond with your wife and children too. Hold on to God strongly things will definitely get better.
    Don’t kill yourself! You can make it. Just keep on going on. God bless you my brother. Take care.

  5. Dear Brother,
    I know this is such a painful experience but ending it all is not the answer to it because that means you have yielded to the devices of the devil to cut short your destiny. My advice is that you need a lot of wisdom and patience at this time, don’t act hastily. Pour your heart out to your maker, cry all you can, you also have to start looking for a new accommodation (source for help from family and friends). THIS IS JUST A PHASE IN YOUR LIFE AND IT WILL PASS. I condemn the act of your wife but please forgive her and consider taking her back if you can live with the experience. Initial separation might help you decide better without clouding your judgement but support her as much as you can, she must be feeling worse too now. My prayers are with you, May God give you the courage and strength to scale through and heal you completely. Shalom

  6. […] Husband Betrayed Me But His Mother Is Behind Everything He Does-Pls […]


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