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My Brother Is Messing Around With Another Man’s Fiancée- How Do I Stop Him? Pls Advise


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My Brother Is Messing Around With Another Man’s Fiancée- How Do I Stop Him? Pls Advise


I need advice. Keep me anonymous. My brother wants to cause a big problem for me. Let’s call him Kenny. Kenny and I are very close even though I am older than him by four years. Ever since our dad died in 2011, Kenny has been out of control. He was truly very close to our dad…they were buddies but dad died of cancer and Kenny felt abandoned and since then, I have noticed he has not been able to keep any stable relationship.

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Our mother has not been the nurturing type. Our dad raised us. So, one can say, we actually do not have a great relationship with our mother. I have spoken and counseled Kenny on how he has been behaving and he keeps telling me he is good but he has no plans to marry. So, soon as any relationship starts getting serious, he backs out cos he is not ready for marriage.

A few months ago, a friend of mine sent her younger brother’s fiancee, who is engaged to be married in June this year, to my house to do some shopping for her upcoming wedding here in Lagos. This young lady stayed in my place and I was supposed to take her shopping but I could not because something came up in my business.

I had to use my driver too..so I planned to get her an Uber but that morning my brother came around and he just casually said…don’t worry…I can take her to the island…am going towards VI. I looked at my brother…I gave him that warning look…to see if he was just looking for a fine girl to ride with him…he didn’t care…he was like…na you sabi…

I asked this girl and she said she does not mind. So I let him take her to Balogun and casually said…Kenny she is taken o….we all laughed about this. He and this lady went shopping. What I did not know was that after that day, they both stayed in touch and started a friendship even when this young lady left Lagos back to Calabar.

I just found out that this girl has been secretly coming to Lagos to see Kenny and they been having an affair. My friend just called to me that her brother’s fiancee has called off her wedding with her brother of two years and that she is in love with my brother Kenny. I thought this was a joke cos they only met one day …not knowing they been sneaking behind my back and being freaky.

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When I spoke to Kenny,…he confessed that he has never met anyone like this girl and he truly loves her. He told me how things have changed since they met each other. Right now, my friend is very upset with me and saying I should speak sense into my brother and make them break up cos she feels my brother is lying to her and they know my brother has a history with relationships.

My friend has said she will never speak to me again if I allow this relationship to go on. I have pleaded with my brother to leave this girl but he says nothing can separate them. As I am talking, this girl is planning to move to Lagos…to my brother’s place. I feel really confused…what did I do wrong…I did not force these people to start an affair…I certainly did not…they are both grown adults.

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Grown enough to understand the consequences of their actions I believe. But this friend of mine has gone around telling everyone how I orchestrated plans for my brother to break up her brother’s relationship. Their family has called me to insult me. My brother and this girl have refused to listen to any reasoning. I am truly worried cos I am in the middle of all these.

I would have been happy my brother is finally getting someone he loves and may even marry cos he has been saying no marriage for him and he is 38 years old. But I don’t know if this is true love or lust…what if things don’t work out with them…and why this girl that the boyfriend has been calling me to beg for him…while his sister is cursing me for setting them up to leave his brother.

My name is peddled as a home destroyer. I have spoken to my mother to speak to him. She didn’t help cos my brother won’t listen to her. That he did not force the girl, that they are both in love. And my uncle is making matters worse…saying that my brother has been hypnotized cos women from that region are very skillful in entrapping men.

I don’t know if it’s an entrapment but this girl is probably enticed by my brother’s lifestyle cos we are just two of us and dad left us a lot of wealth. I may be wrong…but it’s just confusing…and I don’t know what else to say or do…my brother is my only sibling. I want him to be happy but he’s is not even talking to me too except I accept this girl.

What do I do now?



Photo Credit:unsplash


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My Brother Is Messing Around With Another Man's Fiancée- How Do I Stop Him? Pls Advise
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Accept the girl as his girlfriend… If he’s saying they’re both in love, then they are probably in love… Sometimes, fate happens and it may not seem right in the sight of men, but that’s just how twas meant to be… Truth is you can’t really do much if he doesn’t want you to do anything bout it… Like you said, they’re both grown adults and only them would face whatever consequences or gains that’ll come out of this adventure… My 2kobo

  2. They are two grown adults,so they know what is good for them. Leave them alone, they will soon come to their senses when the time comes but it is just unfortunate that your name has been rubbished and dragged to the mud. There is nothing you can do ooo,they are two adults not babies. For me,just take a chill pill and be looking at them. Time will tell,just very soon. Your friend’s brother should just thank his God because God has just shown him that the lady is not his wife,it doesn’t matter how long they might have been together, you can’t compare it to forever journey ooo. Sorry you hear,your good don come turn to bad like this,the lady is promiscuous, take it or you leave it. It is well


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