Our Marriage Is Just Three Years Old But I Am So Frustrated By My Husband’s Habits
Good day ma,
I need your advice on this matter. I have been married for almost three years. My marriage is blessed with a daughter. Everything is going fine but my husband has an attitude that bothers me a lot. Yes, he is the romantic one…yes…he wants me to do certain things to spice up our s8x life which I am not comfortable with.
Right from the start, he told me he likes kinky things…of which I am not used to but I have to learn, some I don’t enjoy but some I do. I don’t like oral but I do it for him. I also don’t like doing it watching erotic materials but he loves it. He would put in porn and want us to do it watching it. That to me is not right but he explained that it stimulates the mind and gives us great pleasure.
What I didn’t bargain for was the fact that I just discovered that he is chatting with girls on social media and asking them for nude videos or pictures of them. I found out last year and that has been an issue for us. Initially, he apologized and said it was a mistake and he wouldn’t do it again but I found out that a few months later, he was still doing that.
This habit of his has caused us so much trouble. I have talked and talked and even threatened to leave the marriage. He then said I should stop making a huge deal out of this: that he is not cheating…that he has no physical contact with the ladies…that he is just using it for fun.
Because I realized how much he likes nudes…I make nudes and send him pics and videos of me in the nude…he likes them a lot but he is not satisfied…he keeps chatting with these women and they still send him his…His friend whom I talked to, asked me a very silly question: that is it not better he is only looking at videos or pictures or not actually going after these women.
Like I said…my marriage is only three years…I don’t want to divorce. I am committed to making this work, so I am praying for him to come to his senses one day….until I found out that one of the ladies sending him nudes is actually his ex that he was in a relationship with for 4 years. This woman is even married o. And they even chatted that it would be nice for him and her to have a threesome with me….my husband responded to her that would be a dream come through…very dirty and evil-minded woman!…now thinking of having a threesome with me and my husband…I am finished…
I was so disgusted…that I had to send her a message: that what will she do if another woman is doing this with her husband…and that I will send her nudes to her husband to report her. Yes, I know I should not have done that but I was too hurt by this one…an ex…married for that matter…what does she want again?
This woman who has no shame…had the guts to reply to me saying that women who don’t appreciate their husbands will be forced to share them with other women…and that I can go ahead and show her husband…that he too has his own fun, so all is good. Now, I realize that reporting to her will do no harm but there is one thing I think I can do: post her on social media.
Embarrass her and her husband…leak our chats where she said her husband too is seeing other women and that I should relax cos my husband belongs to other women not only me…do you know when my husband found out what I did…all he said was: you will use your hand to drive me into other women’s hands if I continue like this.
Tell me…where did I go wrong in all of these? How am I driving him to other women even after all I been doing to satisfy him…I engage in all kinds of s8xual behavior just to make him happy…yet he keeps on embarrassing me…now, these women are laughing at me…saying I am not the owner of my husband…I realize they are doing all these to frustrate me and push me out of my marriage.
I am really frustrated…my husband is a community husband it seems…people are saying I either accept who he is or I leave…after all…other married men are doing worse…how can I ever save my marriage? Please advise me…is this a lost cause? what am I even fighting for…for a man that just keeps embarrassing me?
I feel weak and helpless…that is why I feel like exposing all these ladies online…what else can I do? This is too much… Please advise me….
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