A Lockdown Affair Was Just An Excuse: My Marriage Is Going Down The Drain-Pls Advise
My story is a long one but let me try to make it short. Last year, before the lockdown, my boyfriend traveled to home town in Ghana. Both of us were affected by the lockdown for almost 6 months that we could not see each other but we were communicating. Eventually, he was able to come back in September and he proposed to me in November, to which I said yes.
We got married in December in the most beautiful wedding ever. Starting a new life with my husband was my dream come through until some woman sent me a message on ig saying she is pregnant for my husband. This woman is from Ghana. I thought this was a lie…or a prank or whatever but she said all she wants is for him to be responsible for his baby…that she wants nothing else from him.
In shock, I showed my husband the message and he told me it was a scam, that he does not know the woman. So, I chatted with the woman to stop contacting me….she later sent me screenshots of her conversations with my husband. They were too real not to believe. I believed the woman and I felt so betrayed.
My husband had to confess that it happened during the lockdown when he traveled to Ghana. He swore that it was a mistake and he would never cheat on me now that we are married. I was like…how am I going to accept this woman and her child? Cheating is one thing, having a child out of it is another.
There was a family meeting and we all agreed that when the baby is born, it will be taken care of by my husband’s family financially. The baby was born in late January. In February, the family asked my husband to come for the naming ceremony as the culture requires the father of the child to be the one to name the child if the father is alive.
I did not like the idea but my husband told me to relax…he was going in for just one day and be back the next day. And he did come back the next day. Its been a very painful experience for me and I know it will take a while for me to heal from all of these but I feel that may never happen because ever since he returned from Ghana in February, my husband has been acting strange.
This woman started calling him more than often. He would go outside to take her calls. When I asked him what that is about…why is he talking to her….he says…why won’t he talk to his baby mama…cos there may be an emergency with the baby. I reminded him that we agreed that his family in Ghana would take care of the baby…not him getting involved in the woman’s life. He angrily told me, no one can tell him what to do.
That really hurt me because, to me, his action makes it look like he still wants to be connected to this woman. The next thing he did was tell me that he will be visiting his son once every month in Ghana. I was shocked because now it’s clear what he really wants. He wants that woman and he does not care that it hurts me.
I told him if he goes to Ghana to see the woman, that I would leave the marriage. And he said I can do what I like. That was a hard blow to me. I now realized I was the fool here…this man has no intention of being faithful in our marriage. I told his father and mother and all his siblings, they all feel sorry for me cos my husband has refused to listen to anyone.
As we speak, my husband went to Ghana on March 27th and he is not back. I need no one to tell me that he is sleeping with his baby mama. I am heartbroken. My family is saying its too early to give up on a marriage because my husband has a child outside of marriage. But the pain is so much that I feel like taking my life.
I did nothing to deserve this treatment from a man I dated for three years and helped him to achieve all the success he has today in Nigeria. If he was in love with another woman, why did he propose to me? This is definitely not how I pictured my marriage. From where I see things, separation is the only way for me…maybe give him time to decide who he wants: his baby mama or me…
My family is saying is too early to decide to leave…that I should be patient. My mother said it’s a spiritual attack on my marriage…that I must pray to win against the strange woman…I don’t get it…no one is trapping my husband…he is doing this with his clear mind…because if the pregnancy was a mistake…why still going to see her against my wishes….why go see her every month? Will I be able to endure these monthly visits to Ghana?
Please advise me…do you think I should I wait for a little…for what now? for him to change? For him to stop seeing her? What if he does not? why wait for some time and not now? what will change in another six months or one year or five years? That child will always be there and clearly…my husband likes f*cking her.
Tell me…what reason do I have to remain in this marriage?
Share This Story