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My Husband’s Best Friend Is In Love With Me- He Is Threatening To Kill Him-Pls Advise


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My Husband’s Best Friend Is In Love With Me- He Is Threatening To Kill Him-Pls Advise

Happy Easter ma,

I have been a silent follower of LS for a while since I started having this challenge. I have been seeking who to talk to in total confidence because what I am about to say, I cannot repeat before any living soul that knows me but yet, it is eating me alive. I fear the worst will soon happen and I really need advice on what to do before it gets too late.

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Let us use fake names, please. You can also twist this a little, just to be super cautious. Six years ago, I got a job in a very big company. It was a dream come through, to be working in an oil and gas company like this takes high connection but I am a first-class graduate and God really helped me.

I was introduced to Tuyo (not real name) and the rest of my team. Tuyo had been working in that company a year before. His connections got him the job. He is from a wealthy political family. Tuyo and I became very great friends fast because he was very friendly, goofy, and down to earth. Easy going guy.

It was not too long before people started to match-make us. Saying that we would make a perfect couple. The only issue was, Tuyo had a fiance. The daughter of another powerful political figure. We knew it would be difficult for Tuyo to break up with her cos everyone knows the rich marry the rich.

Me, I am just from an average family and I got to that company by God’s grace. Tuyo flirted with me no doubt. But I saw in his eyes that he did not want to hurt his fiance. He almost kissed me one time. Later on, we decided it’s best to just remain friends. My family even got to know about our friendship. My mom loved Tuyo. He was a perfect gentleman.

Seeing that Tuyo and I couldn’t be together, Tuyo introduced me to his best friend: Dan. Dan too is from their political class but after hearing so much about me from Tuyo, he liked me cos he felt I was good enough for Tuyo to seriously like. I liked Dan but not as much as I liked Tuyo.

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Tuyo got married a year later. Dan and I followed suit seven months later. Both guys were each other’s best man. We were like a family, Tuyo and his wife with Dan and I. We had so many visits together, sometimes sleeps over. I used to catch Tuyo’s eyes glance at me when no one was watching. Yes, we both knew there was this bond between us but we also knew we could never cross that line.

After some time, Dan and Tuyo had a misunderstanding. From what I gathered, Dan began to get uncomfortable with Tuyo’s closeness with me and he kinda told Tuyo to back off cos we are now married. Dan even warned me to cut all ties with Tuyo. We had to relocate to another side of town and didn’t tell Tuyo where we moved to.

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It was so bad that when Tuyo’s wife gave birth, we could not attend. Tuyo had long become head of another business at work, so were didnt even see each other at work. Unfortunately, Tuyo’s wife and baby were involved in a ghastly accident and both of them died. We had to reach out to him, no matter the beef he and my husband had.

Tuyo was a mess. He was a broken man. No one could console him. He took time off work and started to drink. His elder sister who is also close to me confided in me that the family was worried that Tuyo was going to destroy himself with grieve. I had to go see Tuyo without my husband’s knowledge. I mean, he is my friend for goodness sake.

My meeting with Tuyo revealed so much. Tuyo was upset with me for abandoning him cos of my husband Dan. I had to explain that Dan banned me from contacting him. Tuyo said he regrets the day he married his wife cos he knew in his heart, their marriage was not going to last. He knew his heart was with me but he never thought death could take away his wife.

Tuyo said the real reason Dan, my husband cut ties with him is that Tuyo found out that Dan was cheating on me and he challenged him saying Dan did not appreciate what he has a wife cos he Tuyo regrets not marrying me. That was a big revelation. Dan my husband was cheating on me. Tuyo said fate has happened. He has lost his wife and he will make sure he does not lose me, he would take me away from Dan and marry me.

I have always had strong feelings for Tuyo, he too for me. But we could not pursue it at the time. Now, Tuyo is willing to do anything for me to be by his side. We made love that day. I knew it was not supposed to be so but who can judge me? My husband was doing the same. At least, I was doing it with someone who I should have married but allowed circumstances to push us away.

Please note, I am not making any excuse for what I did. But when I confronted my husband about the cheating, he was very remorseful. He is begging and willing to do anything for our marriage to work. So, I told Tuyo that I would prefer to stay with my husband cos I really would like to avoid a divorce.

Tuyo is refusing to let go. He is saying he will never give up on me. He is saying he will tell Dan about us having s8x just to drive Dan mad. That would actually make Dan mad so I have been pleading with Tuyo to let go. Tuyo has said no. The last time I spoke with Tuyo, he said it’s either I let him tell Dan about us or he will kill Dan.

Tuyo is dead serious. I do not doubt that he would do something about what he said. He has people who can do that for him easily. So, I am seriously confused. I cannot tell anyone else what I just told you for fear of Dan finding out and Tuyo actually going ahead with his threats. I am so afraid. Should I just file for a divorce from my husband…to avoid any casualty? One thing is sure, nothing can stop Tuyo. My marriage with Dan is under threat.

I love Tuyo but I want to make my marriage work but Tuyo is filled with so much anger and determination to get me from Dan at all costs. Telling Dan about Tuyo’s plans will not help cos then Dan would find out that I had slept with Tuyo. Maybe that will help Dan release me without a fight from Tuyo? I need your advice. What do I do? If you were in my shoes, what will you do?



Photo Credit:iStock


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My Husband's Best Friend Is In Love With Me- He Is Threatening To Kill Him-Pls Advise
A passionate people and godly relationship advocate!...Trained Psychologist and Human Resources Practioner. A seasoned Marriage and relationship counsellor. A mother, wife, sister, friend and daughter. J


  1. Hello sister. Why did you go visit Tuyo even though your husband warned you, you had sex with him and you claim at least it’s with someone you were supposed to marry, and you said you weren’t justifying it…no, you were actually justifying it, how can you believe Tuyo loves you and yet he wants to kill your husband..what is wrong with you sister. Tuyo knows he can get you with words, that why he said he knew his marriage with his late wife wouldn’t have worked, Tuyo’s wife was you friend, now that she died you think it’s ok to marry her husband right, Dan cheated on you..yes it greed, you too did same with Tuyo. You knew what you were gonna do by going to visit Tuyo at his place.

    You said “Telling Dan about Tuyo’s plans will not help cos then Dan would find out that I had slept with Tuyo. Maybe that will help Dan release me without a fight from Tuyo”. You don’t sound repentant at all, you are only concerned about hiding your adultery from Dan which won’t help, tell Dan what happened, it’s better you tell him sister, you cut all ties with Tuyo, block him on all platforms, you and Dan should relocate to another state, you actually wish to be with Tuyo, why then did you marry Dan. Pls relocate and block Tuyo, he is manipulator, he is wicked and greedy man. GOD bless you.

  2. I believe Dan will still find out anyway. It’s better it comes from you than from Tuoyo. Whatever happens then, you face it. I think you should inform Dan of Tuoyos plans too. If he’s willing to forgive you and the threat is so real, you both can relocate with your family. But I don’t think keeping the truth from Dan will be much help to you cos Tuoyo can go any length to get you, including running it in Dan’s face. I wish you the very best

  3. You shouldn’t have visited Tuyo alone. You knew what was between both of you.

    I don’t believe Tuyo loves you. If he did, he wouldn’t threaten to kill your husband.
    That guy only thinks about himself. If you end up with him, you are going to regret it.

    Tell Dan your husband what happened and Tuyo’s threat. If you don’t tell him, he will eventually hear from someone else, most likely from Tuyo, and where will that leave you?
    Let Dan know and both of you should get away from Tuyo as far as you can, if possible, you can relocate abroad. That Tuyo guy from what you said, is very dangerous.

  4. Why did you accept to marry Dan when you knew in your heart that you don’t love him? This is so complicated eziokwu,you will not go back to Tuyo,you will remain in that marriage and stay with your husband. Dan did not cause the death of Tuyo’s wife and child so why is he making it look as if your husband caused everything, he cheated fine but he has apologized and was remorseful. That shouldn’t make you divorce him na,you have to stay away from Tuyo and tell your husband everything,tell him everything and avoid Tuyo,thanks.

  5. Any man that threatens to kill someone can kill anyone….for me I will advice you open up to your husband and solve this problem together…instead of hiding and something dangerous happens.

  6. Please the time to open up to your husband is now. Will you forgive yourself if anything happens to your husband. Face the consequence now than later. A man who threatens to kill someone else is not worthy to be a person you should stay with. Selah


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