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Why do guys like me at first sight but after meeting with me, I get dismissed?


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Why do guys like me at first sight but after meeting with me, I get dismissed?


Hi guys have been going through emotional instability for a year plus now, late last two years during my NYSC I met a guy who was crazy enough to stop the cab man driving me to drop me that he wished to give me a ride. I rejected the offer but the guy didn’t back off, he was with a friend. Passengers were already complaining so I had to give up and follow him in other not to delay them.

He offered to drop me at my door step which was my aunt place and I obliged. When we got there he requested for my number and I gave it to him. Along the way we had nice conversation and it happened that we have close interest.

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That evening I gave him a call to thank him and he asked if he could see me, I said no problem. Fortunately we worship in same church but he worship during first service and I second, he offered to pick me up after the second service. He drove me straight to his place alas he was a military personnel, he and his friend had jokingly said they were fisher men the previous day. Thanks to Facebook I was able to know he was a military man.

Getting to his place we had long interactive personal conversation and the connection was just there as if we were made for each other. He said I had to come for his birthday the following week and we made plans. From that day even till his birthday he didn’t call nor text. I did but he never reply to any of my calls and messages even the birthday text. I was angry he made plans with me and he just did as if it never mattered I was mad and I sent angry text to him.

Few weeks to my POP we met and I told him I will be leaving after the whole celebration thing, he refused and told me not to even thinks about it. He treated me like a queen and we had a memorable fun day together he even introduced me to one of his college as his baby. I asked if our relationship was official he said yes.

That was it, no text no call not even on the day I left. I began to miss him texted him called him and there was no response, I once received a call from him I was so happy but he said he dialed my number by mistake and that was it.

A year and some months I went back for break and unfortunately we met in church, he called me and requested to see me, but my aunt refused to let me see him that he should come over to the house but he insisted it wasn’t time to meet my family. He got angry that I couldn’t come and that I had to give my aunt details of what is going on and that we were just trying to bring the relationship to life. One thing he always says to me is that he was scared. Some days later I called him to let him know I wanted to visit and he agreed. It was time for me to go see him, I kept calling but he didn’t pick but I summoned courage and went to his place to see him. He was home but in a company of a female colleague, he introduced us and he called me friend. She left and we were alone to talk. We couldn’t talk much cos we were interrupted. In the conversation he said he wasn’t ready for any commitment and he isn’t into the calling stuff.

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I left that day without any tangible conclusion. Its over a month I left now but I haven’t heard from him.

He is actually my second my first lasted for only three months and then it was off. Both gave me similar reasons that I was too good and perfect for any man.

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Guys like me at first sight but after meeting with me, I get dismissed. Am so tired of this lonely life I seriously need help. I don’t want to turn 30 before I voice out, time is going gradually.

I have the intension of calling him with the mindset that that he will pick my call. I want to call him tomorrow evening so please I need your advice now.



From: Marriage Counseling and Relationship Advise

Photo Credit: The Nation Neswpaper




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  1. Hi, happy Easter. From your story I can decipher that you’ve met just two guys. Those guys were afraid of commitment and told you early enough (you should be grateful for that). Do not force yourself on the second guy, he has told you he isn’t ready for commitment, let him be.
    Visit nice places, you’ll certainly meet guys, who knows you may find serious ones.

    P.S. You do not have a problem, you only met two guys who were not ready for commitment.

  2. Sister. It’s not an issue, forget him, he already told you he isn’t interested. So it’s no big deal ok. And why going to someone’s house you just met. Pls be careful. GOD bless you

  3. You are just desperate to be with a man or guy and you are making it look so glaring to them. When you meet a guy just be friends, don’t go asking where the friendship or relationship is going to . Just be vigilant, observant and careful. Don’t be too quick to visit him especially in his house,you can always visit somewhere else. Calm down, your husband will come,who says turning 30 without a man in your life is a crime? You better be calming down and stop showing guys that you are too lonely or desperate if not them go run. It is well with you

  4. I think you should just move on because he has already told you he is not ready to commit,so sister move on. I pray you get a good man that will be ready to go all the way with you. Don’t be desperate,the love of your life will locate you.


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